Perhaps it is not a secret for anyone that the best interlocutor is the one who knows how to listen. And at home, in case of a conversation with your dearest half, it is even harder - after all, you need to listen so that he or she felt that they understand them.
The so-called "empathous hearing" is a critical skill for strong relationships, since it allows the partner to feel care and understanding. Let's give six key moments of how to express empathy to your partner when he or she wants to share his feelings1. Tips - Advanced Case
Do not try to solve the problem or give advice, if this is not specifically asked about this. Sometimes people just want them to be heard and heard their feelings. When someone hurts, he needs sympathy, not advice. Of course, it immediately arises a desire to help and offer an instant decision to your beloved person, but the Council may not be what this person needs to be at the moment. Men tend to solve problems, but it is worth listening to this problem.
2. Patience, only patience!
Be patient and not upset if the partner cannot immediately say that he or she feels.Sometimes a person takes time to find words to express what he or she feels. Silence and patience help people express their feelings.
3. In compassion strength
Do not take the senses of your partner "to your account." It is his or her feelings and they do not necessarily coincide with yours. Compassion means the adoption of the senses of the partner as they are.
4. Remember - you are not attacked
Do not defend and not aggressing when the partner expresses the feelings that you are worried. It does not have to be criticized. We need to give a partner to safely express my experiences without interference. There will be another, more suitable time to say that on the mind. Sometimes it is useful to ask: "Can I quietly be calmly express what I think? I need to talk about something that bothers me. "5. "Reflective hearing"
Use the so-called "reflexive hearing", a technique that makes another person feel that he is understood and take care of him. When someone says: "I understand that it hurts you right now." Or "I heard that you have no simple time," partner automatically feels that he can tell more about the problem. If he says: "I can't understand why you feel it" or "It does not make sense for me," then the partner closes.
6. Middle Care
Offer sympathy if the partner hurts, but he does not expect pity. Pity can cause a feeling of condescension or patronage, and sincere care - no.
Psychologists often give Param "Homework" to practice five minutes a day "Mascotum Hearing". Partner and says something positive about Partner B. For example: "I appreciate the great dinner that you prepared" or "You help your homework so well." After that, the partner says one negative thing. For example, "I would like you to help with home cleaning" or "I would like you to bathe children in the evening." So far, the partner says, the partner B silently listens. Then the partner B says one positive and one negative, while the partner is listening. After that, it is impossible to discuss what was said.
This little exercise allows you to slowly express small trouble everyday life together, so that they do not accumulate, forming the wall between the pair.