Parting is compared with natural disasters. But after some disasters, the colors and foliage are soon blooming again, and after others there are only poisoned wasteland, and the garbage veter. Martha Ketro told Pics.Ru on signs that would help you determine what your gap was and why.
Theoretically, there are beautiful partings. When two noble people realized that they were no longer on the way, they wished each other all the best, agreed on eternal friendship and dispersed with a decent case of sadness.In practice, even the most gentle options are not so cheap. Let you manage to preserve mutual respect and do not get into a joint mortgage, it is difficult to go away, without having taken with you the burden of resentment, bitterness and anger - if not per person, then on the situation.
And at the peak of these experiences, it's very easy to seriously insult, declare a man goat and devalue everything good that between you was - hurt!
But there are some markers, allowing you to determine whether a man has a scoundrel or it says your irritation.
Disgust
The main sign is disgust. In good relations and their aftertasses, a teaspoon of shit is inappropriate. Sadness or even rabies - as much as you like, but at the most at the most time you will not shudder, thinking about this person.
I want to ban it in social networks, because any memories are painful, but not from the fact that you are sick of the prospect of mumbling contact. And it is for a long time - anger takes place for several months, the disgust does not take place.
Physical rejection does not occur either. Of course, sex with former love only raws wounds, in the right mind you will not go to that, but also you will not go horrified from a random touch. Kiss when meeting, hugging for goodbye, this is normal, especially after half a year after parting. But if you jump up at night with a scream, because we wondered his head on the pillow (provided that it is not separated from the body) - hardly you had a good story.
And, yes, you do not die with him in a dream. As a rule, it dreams normal, a little sad communication, you can wake up in tears, but I really do not choke from hatred.
Fear
Another obvious marker is a relation to the rest of the men. The idea of new connections does not scare. Yes, you are tired, disappointed, morally emptosed and are not ready yet to bright experiences. But absolutely disagree on the crown of celibacy, there is a month or another-third, and the forces are restored.
This is after a healthy relationship. The abuser leaves after himself such a miserable cleaner that the prospect of closer to himself any creature of the male floor, not counting the cat, terrifies. Do not think that you are so frozo from great love. Even a very strong unfortunate love will not make you such asexual as a relationship with an asshole. You will shake from the very idea of a man for at least six months, and terribly lucky if someone is persistent and neat, who can break through your injury. He will have to tame a long time and prove: "I am not", "I will not hurt you," "I respect you and appreciate", "longing and disgust will not be more."
Anger
After a good history of the escalation of the conflict comes. The peak of voltage falls at the time of parting, then it becomes easier, the claims are gradually removed, no "stand-and-noise hostility" does not happen - you have nothing more to share, no one climbs to you with pronouncing and finishing the old disorders, and does not appear.
But if six months later it turns out that the emotional situation has become worse than it was, it means that in the closet, an immacing dead man in the closet, and not dried rose.
And last. No matter how hard it is to present it during a farewell, you can become friends. The pain will pass, the blood leaves in the sand, pure grape wine will remain in the cup. If you have previously trusted this person, they could rely on it, and he did not betray you, one day it will come back. If there was no reliability, friendship is impossible.
Therefore, even through pain, try to evaluate your past - without depreciating and not idealizing it. Perhaps it will make your parting a little less bitter or, on the contrary, will save from illusions that not still lost.