Kubukeka sengathi lapha kunzima ekunqumeni ukuthi umlingani ulawula yini ukuthi uhlala ufunga, unolaka, uhlale usongela noma ubeka u-Ultimatum. Wonke umuntu ubonakala njengohlobo lwe-grumpy Hooligan, ethola nemiyalo. Yize lokhu kungahle kube, kunezimpawu ezengeziwe ezingazibonakalisa ngenye indlela.
Uma unomuzwa wokuthi umlingani angakulawula, kubalulekile ukunquma izimpawu zalokhu manje. Akunandaba, yi-narcissus, i-sociscath noma ukumane bome amandla we-leech, ofuna ukunxephezela umuzwa wabo wokungafaneleki, ukulawula omunye umuntu, ukuxhumana nomuntu ongumlingani kungaba yingozi kakhulu, ngakho-ke kuyadingeka Beka ukuphela kwalokhu ngokushesha okukhulu. Ngakho-ke, ukuthi ungakuqonda kanjani okulawulayo.1. Uzakwethu unezinkinga ngokuzethemba
Ekufundweni kweSteam, owasinda ekuxabaneni okukhulu, labo ababezizwa kangako bavikelekile ebuhlotsheni babo bathola inqwaba yezingxabano nabalingani babo futhi babike umkhuba obhekela phambili kwalezi zingxabano. Ngasikhathi sinye, umlingani angaxabana 'engonyazini esuka empukane yendlovu.'
Uma ungazange unikeze umlingani wakho isizathu sokungathembani kuwe, kepha ngasikhathi sinye qaphela ukuthi ukubukela noma ukushebeza kuhlola ifoni noma ikhompyutha yakho uma ungabheki, kubi.
Angenza imibono yokuthi uchitha ubani isikhathi futhi asole ngokungathembeki, noma ngabe asikho isizathu sokusolwa. Ukuphela kwendlela yomuntu onjalo uzizwe ukhululekile, kuhlale ukwazi ukuthi wenzani.
Ungavumeli umlingani wakho ukuthi alawule izenzo zakho. Ubudlelwano obunempilo bususelwa ekuthembekeni nasekuthembekeni. Uma wena noma umlingani wakho ekuthola kunzima ukwethembana, ubudlelwano kungenzeka bungapheli.
2. Kubucayi kakhulu ngokuhlobene nawe
Umlingani akafuni nje ukulawula lapho uya khona nokuthi wenzani ngesikhathi sakho samahhala, ufuna 'ukungaboni' kuwe umuntu ekunambithekeni kwakhe ozokwenza lokho akuthandayo.Enye indlela yokwenza lokhu ukukugxeka njalo: izingubo ozigqokayo, zezinwele ozigqokayo, ukuthi umi kanjani, uyokhulumani, nikwazi ukubheka isikhathi esibucayi, njll. Lawa mazwana abucayi angakwazi Qala ngezinto ezincane, kepha ngokushesha zizophenduka ziphenduke i-avalanche yokugxekwa uma uzinikeza.
Okubi kakhulu ukuthi umuntu ozama ukukulawula ngokuvamile uhola izimpikiswano ezinhle kakhulu, ngakho-ke ukugxekwa kubonakala kukukholisa kakhulu.
Ekugcineni, udinga ukuqiniseka ngokwengeziwe. Ukuzethemba okubalulekile ekubhekaneni nomlingani ozama ukukulawula futhi uvikele kulo.
3. Izinsongo ezifihliwe
Abanye abantu basikisela ukuthi izinsongo kufanele zibe ngokomzimba ukuze zibe yinkinga. Kepha izinsongo zokuphulwa kobudlelwano, ukulinganiselwa "kwamalungelo" noma ngisho nokusongela kokuzilimaza kungahle kube ngokuthi kuthinteke ngumuntu njengosongo lobudlova bomzimba. Lowo olawulwayo uvame ukuzizwa "unamathele ebudlelwaneni" hhayi ngenxa yokwesaba yena, nokwesaba lokho umlingani wakhe azozibulala azolimaza noma ayeke.
Kwezinye izimo, umuntu angasongela ngokulahleka kwezimpahla zezezimali, ekhaya noma ezinganeni uma eshiya umlingani wakhe elawula (noma azophonswa). Akunandaba ukuthi lezi zinsongo ziyiqiniso, ngoba "isilawuli" kungenye nje indlela yokuthola lokho akufunayo, ngokulahlekelwa ngumlingani wakhe.
4. Ukuhlolwa okuxakile
Lokhu kusho umkhuba wokuqopha konke ukusebenzisana okuncane ebudlelwaneni, futhi lokhu kungenye yezindlela eziqinile zokulawula.Nganoma iyiphi indlela, kukhona ukushintshaniswa njalo kwezinsizakalo. Ekugcineni, lo mbhangqwana kufanele uthandene futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi enza "ukuthandwa" okuncane komunye nomunye, ngokwesibonelo, ukufeza udoti, ukugeza izitsha ngemuva kokudla, ukuqoqa ukudla kwasemini ukuze usebenzele umlingani nokunye.
Kodwa-ke, ukuhlolwa okusebenzayo kuvumela umlingani olawulayo ukuthi aqinisekise ukuthi "kufanele". Kepha lapho "uMshisi wasekhaya" egubha wonke umthetho omncane, ungaqiniseka ukuthi uzama ukukusebenzisa, wakha umbono ngokungathi ukukwenza ube ngaphezu kwakho.
5. Uzama ukukususa kwabathandekayo bakho
Indlela engcono kakhulu yokulawula umlingani wakho ngokuphelele ukuhlukanisa kusuka kwabathandekayo bakho. Lesi ngesinye sezimpawu eziyingozi kakhulu ezibonisa izinga eliphakeme lokukhohlisa.
Akunandaba noma yini isimo sakho, ungalokothi uvumele umuntu ukubahlukanise nabangane bakho noma emndenini wakho. Abantu abaseduze bayasinikeza amandla futhi sisekela, futhi ukulahleka kwabo kungaholela ezinkingeni zangempela, ikakhulukazi uma ubhekane nalabo abazama ukukusebenzisa.
Umlingani onakekelayo uzokwamukela ngokuphelele umndeni wakho nabangane bakho, futhi uma engakwenzi lokhu, khona-ke kufanelekile ukucabanga - ukuthi ngabe ubudlelwane obunjalo budingeka yini.
Yini engenziwa uma ulawule ngempela
1. Gcina eduze kwakho eduze
Lapho ubhekene nabantu abangaba nobuthi futhi obukhohlisa, udinga ukuhlala eduze kwalabo abakukhathalelayo.2. Zigcine
Kuyadingeka ukwenza uhlelo lokunakekelwa kwansuku zonke, kungaba ngesimo sokuzivocavoca, ukufunda incwadi enhle, ukuzindla kanye nokwelashwa.
3. Udinga uhlelo
Uma uthatha isinqumo sokuphula ubuhlobo, uhlelo luwusizo. Qiniseka ukuthi ubheka yonke into izinyathelo ezimbalwa eziya phambili, ngoba umlingani mhlawumbe kukhona inqwaba yamaqhinga okukugcina eduze.4. Phatha isimo ngokungathi sína futhi ungabingezi kakhulu ukwanda
Umlingani ofuna ukulawula zonke izinyathelo, ikakhulukazi ukuthambekela kwezenhlalo noma kwe-narcissistic, angaba yingozi uma esuswa kuye ngokwakhe, noma ngabe akakaze abonwe ebudloveni ngaphambili. Musa ukugoqa amehlo akho bese ucabanga ukuthi konke lokhu kungenzeka kuwe. Udinga ukuthatha ngokungathi sína kulesi simo futhi wenze konke okusemandleni ukuze uzivikele.
5. Ungesabi ukufuna usizo olusondele kakhulu kuwe
Umuntu olawulwayo unamandla kuphela lapho ehlukanisa wena emhlabeni jikelele.
Akudingeki ukhohlwe ukuzinakekela nsuku zonke futhi uzungeze ngabantu abakuthandayo.