I-psychotherapist ekaterapist ekaterina sigitov yabiwe nathi i-athikili ethokozisayo kakhulu ngalokho okwenziwa yi-General Feminist kufana ngakho. Lokhu kuhunyushwa kusuka esiNgisini, kepha izinkinga ezibhekene ne-heroine yombhalo ziyajwayela.
Omama bahlukile. Omama bendlu, abasebenzayo, banamuhla, abahlelekile, abahloli bemvelo babazali bemvelo, abasekeli bokuqeqeshwa kwasekhaya. Kukhona omama beyethuke, abalandelwa isinyathelo ngasinye sezingane zabo. Ngokweqiniso, mhlawumbe kwenye indawo kunabafana abakhetha izimiso zemfundo yezingane ezisuselwa ekubukeni "udokotela" okuthile okunjalo, ngoba - kungani kungenjalo, akunjalo? Umama ngamunye uyazi ukuthi yini umndeni wakhe nezingane abakufanelekela kakhulu, futhi angabakhuphula ngokubona kwabo.Namuhla ngifuna ukukhuluma ngomama okhethekile: ama-mama-feminists. Basondele futhi bayaqondakala kimi, mhlawumbe ngoba nami ngingomunye wabo, futhi uma bekufanele ngikhethe ukuthi yisiphi isigaba engizihlosile, bengizokhetha leli qembu elithile. Leli akulona iqembu elivaliwe, ama-mos asekhaya kanye nabanye omama abahlukile abe ngaphezulu, ngasikhathi sinye kungaba yisifazane. Kepha, ngokungafani namanye amaqembu, siyakwazi futhi sinamathisela ngokubaluleka okuthile ekutheni ubulili nenzalamizi kuboniswa kanjani esicini ngasinye samasiko ethu. Ama-mama-feminists aphakamisa izingane ukuze izingane zikubone futhi zikulungele ukuguqula ukuhleleka okukhona kwezinto.
Ngamanye amagama, omama-besifazane bangomama ababi abakhulisa izingane ezimbi, futhi okuthile kuhluke ngokuphelele. Yini ngempela?
1. Asinamathele ezinkambisweni zobulili
Indodana yakho ifuna ukudlala onodoli futhi igqoke ama-pink sneaker, futhi indodakazi yakho igingqa izimoto bese iya ngengubo ye-dinosaur yonke indawo? Kuhle kakhulu! Ama-mama-feminists ayazi ukuthi ubulili buwukukhiwa kwezenhlalo, futhi ngeke banciphise izingane zabo "uhlangothi lwabo lwemvelo" lobugebengu bezocansi - futhi futhi besabe uma izingane zingahambelani. (Emibonisweni yami ethobekile, lezi zindlela azibalulekile nakancane).
2. Sikhetha ngokucophelela izichasiso ukuchaza izimfanelo zezingane noma zokudumisa.
Akukho lutho olungahambi kahle ngendodakazi ekhulumayo, ukuthi yini enhle, nendodana, - yini anesibindi, kepha ama-feminists omama ayazi ukuthi sijwayele ukunakekelwa ukubukeka kwamantombazane (hhayi ukufeza noma Lokho kugxila emandleni noma kubafana abanesibindi buthaka ukunaka empumelelweni yabo ezifundweni. Ngokushesha sifundisa ukuthi ngaso sonke isikhathi ungathola indumiso ukuze ugcine ukulinganisela.
3. Sifundisa i-bodiposive
Asilahli abanye abantu uma imizimba yabo ingahambisani namazinga obuhle abamukelekile. Izingane noma zona ngokwabo, abukho osaziwayo noma abadlulayo emgwaqweni. Akukho lutho olungalungile.4. Sifundisa ukuveza imvume nokwenqaba ukuzalwa
Asiphoqi izingane ukuthi ziqabule noma ziqabule umuntu uma zingafuni. Ngoba uma sifuna wonke umuntu azungeze ukuqonda igama elithi "imvume" futhi alihumushele ngokulinganayo, ukulifundisa kusukela eminyakeni yokuqala. Vele, ukuxoxa ngalesi simo nalezi zinto ezineminyaka emibili ezihambisana nokwamukelwa kocansi, akusizi ngalutho ngokwanele (hhayi usizo olukhulu, njengoba nje zingakuqondi lokho okhuluma ngakho). Kepha ukuchaza ingane ngolimi olucacile ukuthi umzimba wakhe ungowakhe kuphela, nokuthi angasho uma ezwa ubuhlungu noma ukungaphatheki kahle, usuvele usuneminyaka emibili.
5. Sisebenzisa amagama alungile anazo zonke izingxenye zomzimba.
Hhayi "Pisyun" kanye ne- "Peach", kepha i-penis ne-vagina (noma i-veva, uma sikhuluma ngokwengeziwe). Asisebenzisi ama-euphemisms ngegama lezitho zangasese, ngoba izitho zangasese azidingi i-euphemis - njengezandla, imilenze noma iminwe. Izitho zangasese akuyona into eyihlazo, futhi ngeke sikugcizelele lokhu ukwenqaba ukubiza amagama abo ngokuzwakalayo, kube sengathi banguMother WOLAN WOLUNT.
6. Sisekela abanye omama ezinqumweni zabo.
Ama-mama-feminists akholelwa ekuhlolweni kanye nokhetho lwabanye besifazane, kufaka phakathi - ngakwesokunene ukukhetha, ukuzisebenzela noma abe omama bendlu, lalela ebhodleleni, lalela. Asilahli muntu. Siyaqonda ukuthi amaHorivars aphakathi komama adalwe ngokungemthetho futhi aqagele ngokungaqiniseki kanye namathemba wababambiqhaza, aqhutshwa umshado phakathi kwemithi yemvelo.7. Sihlala sikhululeka izingane zakho
Akukhathalekile ukuthi ngabe kunombuzo wokwephulwa kwelungelo labesifazane ukulahla imizimba yabo, umfanekiso wosocansi wososayensi owaziwayo noma ngomuntu uRuth Badzburg udume - umama uGinzburg udumile - umama uyisilungele ukukhuluma noma yini yalezi zihloko. Lokhu kunjengokuthi sinenqwaba yemicabango edinga ukuvezwa - futhi siyazi ukuthi intshiseko yethu, ukuqina nokuzethemba kuyonikeza izingane isibonelo esihle. (Lokhu kungenzeka kakhulu ukuba siqaphele lapho izingane ziba yintsha, kepha ekugcineni zikhonze inkonzo enhle).
8. Sifuna ukulingana ngokobulili embonini yezokuzijabulisa
Kuzo zonke izinhlamvu eziqanjwe yigama noma ukuphindaza okubizwayo, ama-30,9% kuphela abesifazane. Lokhu kusebenza kuma-telecepts, amafilimu, izincwadi, amahlaya nemidlalo yevidiyo. Ngisho nangaphansi kubo bangabalingiswa abaphambili (ngokungafani nezinhlamvu eziphambili). Siyazi ukuthi abezindaba ngeke benze inani lezinhlamvu zabesifazane nabesilisa, futhi senze imizamo ekhethekile yokuthola nokudumisa ukuzijabulisa kwezingane, ukuqaphela ukuthi amantombazane nabesifazane abakhona kuphela njengentombi yomlingiswa ophambili noma ama-stereotypes. Siyazi futhi: Umbono wochwepheshe wemboni yezokuzijabulisa abafana abangabafana nabo ngeke baye kwifilimu "yabesifazane" noma ngeke bayifunde incwadi "yabesifazane" - ngephutha.
9. Sisola amakhosazana
Akunakwenzeka ukusho ukuthi siphikisana ngokuphelele nawo wonke amakhosazana (yize abanye bethu kungenzeka bamelana). Kepha okungenani siphamba uCinderella mayelana nenja engajwayelekile epaki: Vumela ingane kangcono ukuthi ihlale kude kuye, kodwa uma efuna ukumshaya ngamandla, sizokuhambisane nalokhu, sihambisane nalokhu kuhlangana. Njengenja epaki, kungenzeka angamlimazi. Kungaba mnandi ngisho nakhe! Kepha siyazi ukuthi ingozi awenzi noma kuphi, ngakhoke njalo uqaphele.10. Sihlala sifuna isinqumo sazo zonke lezi zinkinga.
Uma umgomo wakho ukulingana ngokobulili, uhlala unokuthile ongakwenza. Ukuzama ukufundisa ingane kumanani we-feminist emhlabeni, lapho igama elithi "insikazi" empeleni lilingana nokuthuka - umsebenzi oyinkimbinkimbi ngokungajwayelekile. Kepha izindaba ezinhle ukuthi okungenani zizishayele obala ubuntu obungama-Feminist (K), ami kunalokho, inani elikhulu labantu lisekela ngempela amanani abesifazane (kufaka phakathi, okwenza konke okuchazwe ngenhla). Nawe?
Okwangempela: UJamie Kenney Ukuhunyushwa: Olga Shmyrova