Ukuzivikela wena nomakhelwane, udinga amandla, isibindi kanye nezindlela ezikhethekile. Kepha kwesinye isikhathi ezinye izinto zixhunyiwe - ngokwesibonelo, ukuwohloka komqondo, ukuwohloka komqondo kanye nesibindi, uswidi kanye nezambulela ... Siqoqe izindaba zangempela ezibonisa ukuthi: impilo ishaya indida kuphela!
Robin kusuka eSherwood
Ngihambe ngomgwaqo ophakathi nendawo - futhi endaweni yezikhumba zezimbali, ngabona imbiza enempilo ekhekhe buthule ebusheleni. Abantu abaseqopheni babuthana futhi babukeka. Ngayiguqula le ndoda ngiye ngombuzo: "Ngabe uyacaphukisa ucezu lomfana ?!" Futhi ngathola ukushaywa esifubeni ... sasingenaso isikhathi sokuthumela, ukuthi i-faverol pot potw flew kanjani. Futhi ngesikhathi senkantolo, basungule ... ukuthi ngenkathi le ndoda (paratrooper, ekhonkotha ... yena iqinile, inomusa), owayephethe izimbali, isoka ilula. Kodwa wabanjwa. Futhi ngilapha, njengoRobin eSherwood!Mayelana nezinzuzo ze-pneumat
Icala langempela lama-pneumatics empumelelo. Noma kunalokho - 654th. Ibuyiselwe ekhaya. Ntambama ngathenga i-MP-654, kusihlwa ngisongelwe ngoKum, ngokuvamile, kwakudakiwe, kwanelisekile ngesibhamu esikhwameni ngemuva komhlane wakhe. Ngokuphazima kweso - asuka endleleni, acele imali nezinto. Ukuhlangana kusuka ekusikekweni nasekulimaleni kulimaze isikhwama sangemuva. Ukhohlwa ngamagremu angamakhulu ayisikhombisa ensimbi. Futhi ngokunemba kwekhanda le-main suporant aqhekekile. Yebo, kwaqhekeka kahle - nge-crunch ne-bouffegon. I-supostat yesibili inqume ukubuyela emuva futhi yanyamalala ngokushesha ekuhlaleni ... Kepha umlingani wahlala anelisekile kakhulu. Ngoba esikhwameni kwakukhona elinye ibhodlela le-vodka. Nangu uxoke ne-bullin. Kuyisono!
Ukuvikelwa kwenhlonipho
Ngihamba nodadewabo ukuze asebenze (ehhovisi elilodwa asebenze) esitimeleni. Ngemuva kumi ubuhlakani ezingilazini, ubuso obufana neKhanzanov. Ngokuthula, amehlo okumele. Ngicabanga ukuthi udadewethu kumdlali, ngicabanga ngeyami, i-OPA - kithi ukufunga ngandlela thile ukuhanjiswa ... Ngiphenduke ngathi - omunye umsebenzi oneminyaka engama-50 ngokudonsa uMats ubeka emuva kokuqonda, ngenkathi ebambe isango. Dadewethu masikeze, ngicindezela kuMalume. Isitimela sincipha - kahle, futhi kwavulwa iminyango kuphela, amanga-khazanov ajike futhi athule epulatifomu. Ngasikhathi sinye, ngibambe amahlombe ami ngesikhala sokukhala: "Umalume, yeka udoti!" Futhi wayeyisiphukuphuku: "Uyami - awuboni, futhi le ntombazane enesikhwama sakho ibishayela izandla ezimbili!" I-idiot enjalo yazizwa mina, umama ...Ukuwina ngezinyembezi emehlweni
Emehlweni ami, e-emo ejwayelekile, i-Emo ejwayelekile izame ukucindezela iselula. Umfana waqhuma futhi, engayeki ukukhala, wabeka i-Hooligan ezinyaweni zakhe e-groin, kwathi nge-sobs akayiqali amehlo akhe, ngemuva kwalokho okukhazimulayo " wagxuma ephuma ebhasini wabaleka. Yebo, kwakubukeke kabi ngesiphukuphuku, kodwa wakuthola umgomo wakhe - wazivikela futhi wasinda wasinda ...
Kuphazamiseka
Ngasekupheleni kwama-90s, ngasebenza njengonogada ekilabhini lami "endaweni." Ngosuku olulodwa lapho, kwabanye ukucaphuna, ngesithembiso sokuthi "sephule bonke abasekupheleni". Isimo sabhujiswa ... Ngiya endlini ebusuku, ngingena emnyango, ngiwela ephakanyiseleni, lapho ngisondela, ngizwa ithondo, othile ulizwa emnyango futhi ugijimisana nalo ilifti. Lapho ngifaka i-lifti, ngifaka igesi "Maknyarych", ngiyibambe ngaphansi kwejakhethi ... Izicabha ze-Elevator ziqala ukuvala, kepha ama-squints e-squints aqala ukuvala izandla zeminyango, ezama ukumisa ilifti. Ngiphakamisa isiqu ekhanda, thatha igxathu emuva, ngizama ukubona umphikisi ... futhi ngibona umakhelwane phansi obhidliza phansi ephule. Ngokuvamile, bekungakhululekile, umgqomo washeshe wabuyela kuCobur, waxolisa. Kepha bekukunyakazise, kwaze kwafika!Fuck!
Ngafika ekhaya ngivela emsebenzini konke ngangikhathele futhi ngahlukunyezwa yi-American Capital. Indodakazi yami yeza kithi, ukuduma kwezulu kwafika, wahlala. Ngathatha imfoloko kuphela, ukuthi othile waqala kanjani ngokuhlukumeza ngesando emnyango wokungena. Ngasondela emnyango futhi ngibuze ngenhlonipho ukuthi ngubani ngezilimi ezimbili. Angitholanga impendulo kunoma yiluphi ulimi. Wahlala phansi kuphela, futhi kwaqala ukubonwa. Ngisho nangokwethonya engibuza: "Yini i-x @ th ingemuva kweminyango nokuthi yini i-x @ engiyidingayo?" Emva kwalesi sinqe se-tirady, bathulisa ngemuva komnyango, ngahlala phansi etafuleni. Sahlala phansi kuphela - futhi dolubhzh, umnyango cishe onama-loops. Ihlanganiswe etafuleni eliseceleni kombhede, lapho kulele khona umdabu wayo. Ngibona onqenqemeni lweso: Indodakazi ye-CZ-83 evela kwelinye itafula eliseceleni kombhede. Yebo, ngicabanga ukuthi sizofundisa. Kwafika emnyango, waphuthuma ... futhi angizange ngingene ebusweni. Futhi adubule akekho. Nginezihlahla ezimbili ezinamahloni eduze kwendlu. Ngakho-ke, kolunye lwazo, kumunyu okunempilo kwasekelwa - futhi sonke lesi sikhathi ngaphansi kokugcotshwa komoya kwawela emnyango ...
Ukuletha kuphi izindlebe?
Bebekuhlu lokudubula. Kukhona iDemokhrasi, uma ngayo yonke eyakho - nikeza ukuvikeleka (izindlebe), okuqondiwe, bese uya - ungami ngaphezu komphefumulo. Shot, shayela ofundisayo kwinombolo yokugcina kwinombolo yeselula, ngithi: "Ngidubule lapho izindlebe ziletha khona?" Futhi ngizwa izwi lowesifazane elibuhlungu: "Yiziphi izindlebe ?!" Mina: "Hhayi, yeka ukuthi kanjani, izindlebe ezijwayelekile ...) Kanjani masinyane lokho inani eliphuthelwe ...Esikhundleni sabesifazane uTanya
Wathuthela kwenye indlu, akekho owaziyo noma ngubani lapho. Babuthana ekuqaleni kwekotishi. Ngivuka ihora ngamahora amane futhi ngiyakubona lokho, ngomnyango, othile ungene e "zhigul" bese emba lapho ngaphansi kwe-torpedo. Bengingafuni ukuthola ummese esiswini, futhi mina, sengishiyile ekhoneni, ngibize amaphoyisa ukuthi imoto idubula. Lapho efika egcekeni elungiselelwe ukuzwa ngokudunwa kokudunwa nokubonga ... Kepha ngizwa ukuthi yizo le ngxoxo: "... kwaphuma, ama-fuses ngosayizi ashiswe ukuze i-petal icishiwe futhi iqhubeke entsha. Nginyakazisa ucingo, amaphoyisa andiza lapha, afaka ukungcola, akhahlela ohlangothini ... athola, ngamafuphi. Enye i-bitch ebizwa ngokuthi yi-hijaes yemoto! Lokhu mhlawumbe kungowesifazane onotshwala kaBaba Tanya, ngamthumela ngombuzo, "futhi ungcolile. Bulala, makuphume kuphela! " Ngithule buthule ...
Angisiye umphangi!
Ngaya ebugqikweni ngemuva kokukhokha. Isikhwama saxosha i-armpit. Futhi lapho "uJorge" eCobur. Ngenxa yokuthi iphothifoliyo yinkukhu, i-addent indettoned. I-Holster cishe ilingana. "UJorge" uyawa ngaphandle, yona kanye phansi yisandla sokudla ngiyayibamba. Unogada ubukeka futhi ucabanga: Konke kwaqala, kepha kungashonile. Futhi nginesibindi sokuthi kuzoba manje. Ngabhala ngokubhala: "Angisiye umphangi!" Isibhamu saphonswa phezu kwebhande, ngabuka iketanga elilodwa, ngixolise, bekungelula ukukhetha, ngakwesokunxele ...
Kugogo
Angazi imininingwane, kepha kubukeka kanjena. Esitimeleni, isikhubelelo esidakwayo senkonzo sangaphakathi sabuzwa sidakiwe futhi insizwa ukuba inikeze isalukazi. Kuvela ukuthi umhlaba awunawo amaphoyisa amahle! Ephendula lokhu, lapho ushiya ophethe, uNgqongqoshe Wezomthetho wamukelwa ebusweni bakhe egesi, ngenxa yalokho isibhamu baphuma baqala ukuwa ngakwesobunxele nakwesokudla. Umphumela: Ugogo uyajabula, iphoyisa elisesibhedlela elisesibhedlela, intombazane elimele e-squabble, kwenye inhlamvu yanamathela emaphobhoni amajazi aboya. Futhi konke lokho?Indoda ekuhambeni
Sanamathela ngandlela thile ngekhompyutha eyodwa. I-bazaar ishintshele kahle impi yezinhlaka. Futhi konke bekungeke kube yilutho, kepha i-amposager dream stn ibamba, futhi ibanikele ngabo bonke abayofika. Kuyasabisa, ngoba ngeke kube khona ngqo ngokumelene ne-DNA ngezandla ezingenalutho. Nangu umngani wami futhi wabona - wabamba ibhayisekili lami, elalilele eduzane, lamphonsa kumphikisi. Ibhayisekili ngokunembe ngaye futhi wahamba. Lapha bonke ababambiqhaza baxosha isikhashana nje, bahamba ngokubuka njengendoda ene-doya ezama ukuphuma ebhayisekili. Njengoba esebonile, waphonsa iklabhu wabaleka, futhi walwa kuwo, ngenkathi ebuyela emazwini ajwayelekile aseRussia ...
Cishe umklomelo uDarwin
Lapho nje ngithole okulungile, ngangithenga ngelinye ilunye. Futhi ngokuziqhenya waphonsa isihlalo esingemuva. Vele uma kwenzeka - wazizwa enzima kakhulu. Futhi ngemuva kwesigamu sonyaka, yandiza yaya eposini - ngakho-ke lokhu kufakwa lapho kubhula, kusukela esihlalweni esingemuva ekhanda ngandiza ngamehlo ... futhi, njengoba izinkanyezi zivinjelwe emehlweni ... futhi zindiza ngokuqhubekayo ngento ephukile. Ngakho-ke akazange asebenzise ithuba, wenza umuntu. Hhayi umgodi osondelene, obizwa ...