Isazi sezengqondo uPavel Zygmantovich uxoxa ngamaphutha amakhulu ama-5, anikelwe ngekhefu lobudlelwano. Nabesilisa nabesifazane.
Maye, abantu bahlukana, futhi akuwona wonke umuntu okwazile ukuphila umphefumulo emphefumulweni uye emshadweni wedayimane. Kuyo yonke le minyaka, ngiqongelele ukubonwa okwanele ukwenza amaphutha ayi-5 aphezulu aphezulu angenziwa ngabantu ngesikhathi sokuhlukana. Masiqhubeke.#one. Ukuhlukaniswa ukuphela komhlaba
Kubonakala kwabaningi ukuthi igebe elinothandekayo lisetha ngokuphelele zonke izinjabulo zomhlaba. Manje ukukhanya okumhlophe kusene-penny, ngifuna ukucasha ngaphansi kwengubo futhi kubonakala sengathi awusoze washada lapho, ngoba asisekho okungenamsebenzi, hhayi lokho.
Kuyasiza ukwazi - sibikezela kahle isikhathi sokuphendula kwethu ngokomzwelo futhi sivame ukuwela ngokweqile.
Eqinisweni, zombili izinhlungu nenjabulo zishesha kunalokho esilindele (noma ngabe izinhlungu zihamba kancane). Kunezifundo eziningi zengqondo ngalesi sihloko, ungazijwayeza ngokwakho (bheka isibonelo, iSieff et al., 1999, noma iGilbert et al., 1998).
Eqinisweni, izinhlungu zokuhlukahluka zidlula ngokushesha - ikakhulukazi uma ubudlelwano buhlala bugcina bude. Ngokwesilinganiso, kubamba izinyanga eziyisithupha ukuza ngokugcwele ezinsukwini zami (inani eliphakathi - kungokwesilinganiso; umuntu uhlala isikhathi eside, othile mfushane).
# 2. Angisize, angisebenzi
Abantu abaningi baqala ukuzibandakanya ekuziveleni. Kubukeka ngabo ukuthi ukuhlukana kungukuhlola kwabo njengomuntu njengomuntu. I-logic ayincishwanga umusa - ukube behlukana nami, kusho ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle kimi, ngoba bahlukana kuphela nalabo abangalungile, abanambana ngokujwayelekile.
Lokhu, yiqiniso, ukukhohlisa. Ukuhamba nabantu abehlukene kanye nezizathu ezahlukahlukene. Futhi ukuze enze ukuxilongwa "angilutho", ngidinga ubufakazi bukhulu kunendlela elula "ephukile nami."
Ukuhlukanisa ngokwako akuwona ubufakazi. Leli iqiniso nje ukuthi ungahumusha ngendlela othanda ngayo. Futhi ukutolika kwayo njengobufakazi bokungabaluleki kwakho kuyincazelo embi, engafanele. Ungenzi lokho.
# 3. Khohlwa umlingani ngomzamo oqinile
Kwesinye isikhathi abantu bazama ukukhohlwa umuntu nje kuphela umzamo oqinile. Njengokuthi, ngeke ngicabange ngakho / yikho konke kuzosebenza. Maye, isazi sezengqondo saseMelika uDaniel zwiler waveza ukuthi leyo ndlela ayisebenzi. Ubize umphumela webhere elinamakhaza (ngokulandelayo, ngendlela, kubandakanya nomphumela we-Ironic Boomeranga).
I-Essence ilula - lapho sizama ukungacabangi ngokuthile futhi ungakwenzi okuthile, umcabango owengeziwe ngakho (umphumela webhele elimhlophe) futhi okuvame ukwenziwa (umphumela we-ironic boomeranga).
Phuma - ungazethembi ukuthi ucabange ngomuntu. Yebo, uhlukane, yebo, izinkumbulo zibangela ubuhlungu, kepha awudingi ukushayela lezi zinkumbulo kuwe. Udinga nje ukuwugcina (ukuthola eminye imininingwane, bheka inothi elithi "Ungakugcina kanjani ukuvukela umbuso", lapho kuchazwa khona lolu hlelo ngokuningiliziwe).
Bukela, kepha hhayi ukungena kokuhlangenwe nakho - Nansi indlela engcono kakhulu yokusingatha izinkumbulo zentandokazi yakho / ethandekayo lapho uhlukana.
#Four. Masinyane Bheka Ukubuyiselwa
Amadoda amaningi (ikakhulukazi amadoda) abonakala edingeka ngokushesha ukuthola okunye - futhi ngokushesha, okungcono. Futhi-ke okunye okunye esikhundleni, okukodwa, nokuningi, nokuningi, nokuningi. Lokhu kungumzamo wokungqongqoza umshado ngomunye umshado, nendlela yokufakazela ukuheha kwakho, kanye nomzamo wokuphazamisa.
Maye, konke lokhu kusebenza kabi. Iqiniso ngukuthi uthando ngokushesha aludluli. Imicu engabonakali yemizwa eyayibopha nomlingani, hhayi ngokushesha okukhulu. Futhi omunye umuntu akasizi ukubakhipha nakancane, ngokuhlukile, lapho kuvela ukuthi okunye esikhundleni akuzange kulimaze ubuhlungu, isimo siyanda - kubonakala sengathi akukho manje okuzosiza. Isipiliyoni, futhi esindayo, sibe nzima ngokwengeziwe.
Phuma kwenye - kubangani nabathandekayo. Ukuxhumana nabo, yenza okuthile okuwusizo. Kungcono ukuqoqa wonke umuntu ndawonye bese ulinda ngempelasonto kwelinye idolobha ukubheka ukubonakala kwezakhiwo kunokuzama ukunyakazisa umuntu e-bar eseduzane.
#Five. Fakazela okuthile okwangaphambili / kwangaphambili
Kwesinye isikhathi ngifuna ngempela ukuba umlingani wakudala aqonde amaphutha ajulile wesinqumo sakhe sokuhlukana. Ngifuna ukwenza okuthile okufana - ukwehlisa isisindo, ukuthenga imoto, thatha izithombe nosaziwayo. Njengokubheka, yimuphi umcebo ohamba ngomkhumbi ezandleni zakho, ahlupheke!
Kusukela umlingani wangaphambili, njengomthetho, awuqondi ukuwa kwesinqumo sawo, izinhlungu ezivela ekuhlukaniselweni ziyanda. Kuba kubi kuphela.
Yini indlela yokuphuma? Sebenzisa isimo sokubizwa okuthiwa ngukukhula kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka. Ukukhula okuthunyelwe kwangemva kokunyathelisa kunezinguquko ezinhle ezenzeka kumuntu ngemuva kokushayisana nanoma yiluphi ubunzima bezinkinga (bheka imininingwane lapha - uThedeschi, noCalhoun, uL. G. G., 2004).
Ngivame ukuthi amadoda aphatha isehlukaniso kuphela. Futhi lokhu akulona ihlaya impela. Ngempela, amadoda amaningi ngemuva kokuthi isehlukaniso siqonda ukuthi bebengebona abashadikazi abahle kakhulu futhi bazame ukulungisa - mathupha, bakhule. Bafunda ukuqaphela, baxoxisane, futhi bangafungi, banelise hhayi izintshisekelo zabo nokunye. Kwenzeka okufanayo nabesifazane.
Lezi izinguquko futhi zibizwa ngokuthi ukukhula kwe-post-traumatic.
Igebe elinomlingani lingaholela ekukhuleni kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka, uma, vele, lenze konke okulungile. Isibonelo, gwema amaphutha achazwe kulo manothi.
Imifanekiso: Shutterstock