Akulona iqiniso ukuthi indaba enhle yomshado ngeke ibizwe. Thina ngokwethu sakha leli cala, uyawukhonza, futhi ngezikhathi ezithile nale nciphisa le nto. Futhi sivame ukuya kuchwepheshe wesisebenzi endaweni ethile ngemuva kweminyaka engu-6 siyodinga ukulungiswa ngokuphuthumayo ukuze silungise ...
Kuthiwa uJohn Gottman, onguchwepheshe okhetheke kakhulu olungiselelwe imishado enephutha kanye nomsunguli wesikhungo sonke socwaningo. Wathuthukisa umbono wonke, iminyaka engama-25 ehlola amakhulu emibhangqwana eshadile. Yini ebaluleke ngokwehlukile - isazi sezengqondo isikhathi eside futhi sijabule. Kepha akusona ngenhlanhla! Ngemuva kwakho konke, inyunyana yayo yangaphambili yaphenduka isehlukaniso - futhi yaletha okuhlangenwe nakho okuningi okuwusizo. Ngakho-ke uGottman akaluleki okubi! Faka ifomula yakhe yomshado ojabulisayo namathiphu, ukuthi ungayithumela kanjani ohlangothini olujabulisayo;)
1. Ubungani phakathi kwe-M no-W
Ikhona, yebo. Futhi akayena isithiyo, nomshado! Ngokuphambene nalokho, konke kugcinwe kuyo njengasekuqaleni kwemikhomo. Bobabili ozakwethu batshala imali ethile evamile: izintshisekelo, imizwa, amasu, izifiso kanye namathemba. Uma unaye umgibeli wekhasi kuye, kepha awukwazi ukuthwala ikwaya phezu kokuthile, lokhu kuyinsimbi ephazamisayo. Ngoba isichibi siyafika futhi sihamba, kepha singavuselelwa. Uma uyazi ukuxhumana. Futhi ukuxhumana nomuntu ongenabungani - i-nafig isidinga?
2. Ukuhlanza i-Vacuum njenge-Aphrodisiac
Indoda esisiza endlini ibangela umlingani oheha kakhulu. Konke ngoba ngalokho akushoyo kuthandwa ngu: Phumula, sithandwa. Ngikuthanda kakhulu lokho ngenxa yenu ngisho nokufaka i-batch engalingani nge-trash. Kupholile kunokuthola isinambuzane.
3. Ukuphendula Okuphakelayo
Empilweni yansuku zonke sihlala sinxusa omunye nomunye. Futhi ngendatshana ebalulekile ("Cabanga, azange angikhokhele kakhulu!"), Nakuma-trifles ("oh, bukela ukuthi yiliphi ikati!"). Ukuphendula kungahluka: "Yebo", "Ungahluphi, ngimatasa", "ikati? Futhi "Inter" -Ukufiphala! " Noma - Usabela ngokugcwele: Akunandaba ukuthi uthini, kepha unaka, sisabela ngokucacile, "phenduka" kumlingani. Lapho kwenzeka kaningi, amathuba amaningi lapho kufanele ukhulise amazwa amahle. Yonke imibhangqwana efundwayo ye-gottman efundwayo ethi "yaphendukela" komunye nomunye emacaleni lesithathu ehlukaniswe eminyakeni embalwa.
4. Umusa uzosindisa umshado
Lokhu akuyona ukuthamba, hhayi ukuthembeka, hhayi ukuzwela. Leli khono aligxume emndenini futhi lingaqedi ukuqamba amanga. UGottman ukholelwa ukuthi umusa akuyona into okungeyona noma cha. Okufana nemisipha edinga ukuqeqesha njalo. Futhi izokuletha ngomzuzwana. Futhi umzuzwana obucayi kakhulu, kunjalo, izingxabano. Ngokuqinisekile, wonke umuntu waphawula ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi emzuzwini onzima "uthwala" ukuze nje bakwazi kodwa bangahlambalazi ngokungafanele, bangavali izindlebe zokuxolisa. Yebo, ngakho-ke - amandla okwenza lokhu akufanele aqeqeshelwe amakati. Okungukuthi, emndenini omncane ukungafani.
5. Amaphutha kufanele athethelele
Uma umlingani ejabule futhi esho ubuwula, yini okufanele ngiyenze? Namathisela ipani ... okungukuthi, ukuwazisa ukuthi akulungile lapha - akhohlwe futhi athethelele. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ibhomu le-Slow Motion lakhiwa kuwe, okuthi kamuva ngomzuzu owodwa omuhle ekhanda lakhe le-Ka-ku Sorcery! Nakulokhu futhi: thethelela futhi uyeke. Ukube bekuyinto engenangqondo ngokushesha. Futhi hhayi okuhlelekile okuhlelekile.
6. Ukuxazulula akunakwenzeka ukwamukela
Manje kube sengathi izindaba ezidabukisayo. Amaphesenti angama-69 ezinkinga zomndeni angaxazululwa ngomgomo. Okungenani, sihlukana nodonga noma siqhekeke ngakho, abathembekile - ukufakwa okuyisisekelo ngeke kuguquke. Futhi uma benza sengathi bashintshwa, kuzoba ukulimala okuningi ... noma ukukhohlisa nje. Ngezinye izici zohlobo lwamashubhu ahanjiswayo noma i-shoppololism ephoqelekile kuzodingeka ukuthi ikwazi ukumane. Yebo, noma ugijime kubo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ngokucacile ukuthi yini ngqo kuwe.
7. Abahlanu kuya kwelilodwa
Umbhangqwana ngamunye unenjabulo nobuntu. Izincomo namagama. Injabulo nentukuthelo. Izinkumbulo ezimnandi namathambo ku-closet. Ngakho-ke! I-Chip yomshado ojabulisayo akuyona ukuthi akukho mizuzu. Futhi iqiniso lokuthi wonke ama-minus kufanele abe nezinzuzo ezinhlanu. Ngosuku olulodwa lokuxabana - izinsuku ezinhlanu zokululama. Kwisokisi elilodwa elahliwe - isixha sama-daisies amahlanu. Njll. Kuyathakazelisa ukuzama ukubala ukuhlolwa ngenxa!..
7 Umshado weSoviet
1. Ungakhohlwa Usizo Isilinganiso esijwayelekile, uGotman, ngisho nokuzwa sengathi kukhona okukhona, kudonsela umkhankaso wodokotela wezengqondo womndeni. Futhi sekwephuzile cishe iminyaka eyisithupha. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi uchithe ngesikhathi futhi uhambisane nenjabulo.
2. Hlunga okuthi "Bazaar"!
Noma ingqondo iqandisiwe. Yenza umzamo futhi ungazikhumbuli izono ezineminyaka eyisikhombisa, ungasho amaphutha abuhlungu futhi ungabizi amagama amabi. Ama-logger. Ekugcineni, umcamelo kaKin. Kepha ungalingisi.
3. Funa okwakhayo "Ngikutshelile kangaki, ugqugquzela nje" - kusebenza ukuthulula intukuthelo nokudonsa umusi. Kepha hhayi ukuze kufinyelelwe ofunwayo. Kubangela ukuzivikela okuyisithulu kanye nokuhlasela okunolaka. Ngokuzenzakalelayo futhi kunengqondo. "Lalelani, ngidinga usizo lwakho ..." Kepha lokhu kunjalo, eqinisweni, ukuxazulula inkinga.
4. Zama ukuhlangana Kuyacaca ukuthi ukuze uzinikele, izintshisekelo zakho nempilo yakho akuyona uthando, kepha owesilisa. Kepha hhayi izinto eziyisisekelo kakhulu (ezifana: "Sizosebenzisa kuphi kusihlwa sangoMgqibelo - kubha noma umama") kusadinga ukuvumelanisa. Ngezikhathi ezithile.
5. Ungesabi ukufuna inhlonipho
Hhayi ngomqondo othile: "M-man, t-wena uh-vazha-ngidle?" Futhi ngomqondo wokuthi uma ngomuzwa wakho wokuzethemba nokuzethemba kwakuyibhuthini, ngeke kugwinywe bese ukhohlwa. Kuzoba kubi kakhulu. Kufanele sisho izwi. Uma umuntu afanelekile - uzokunaka. Uma engumdlwenguli wokudlwengula, khona-ke athile ukulondolozwa komshado okuzokusiza. Esithandweni sazo - kanye nezandla emilente.
6. Isinyathelo phambili nambili emuva Ezemidlalo nokungqubuzana, ukuthuthela kwabacasulayo, ungakhohlwa ukwenza "ukubuya." Uhlobo: "Ngiyaqonda ukuthi awukhululekile kakhulu," ngiyaxolisa, uma kuzwakala kakhulu, "Mina, nginecala nalapha." Lokhu akubona ubuthakathaka obudelelekile, kuyinto ye-Aikido yezengqondo. Ekugcineni, uma izinkanuko ziqhuma ukuze zisebenze kabusha, njengokuqalisa kabusha, ungathola uhlangothi olungalindelekile noMnyongo wokukhipha - noma wenze isikhathi sokuphuma.
7. Okuhle - Okunye Okuhlanu! Lokhu mhlawumbe kungumyalo obaluleke kakhulu we-Gottonan othandweni nobudlelwano besintu. Bheka isigaba 7 kusuka efomula yomshado ojabulisayo - futhi ulethe ukuthi ungakanani, umnandi, omuhle futhi ophakade. Lapho-ke umthamo "weLanga" nakanjani uzodlula umthamo "wefu" amahlandla ayisihlanu. Futhi uzojabula!
