# Prokino: Sibheke kuwe. "UFrash Akula" (USA-Bulgaria, 2005)

Anonim

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Thola i-movie ongeke uyibheke ukuyibuka, bekungelula. Kepha kubonakala sengathi sibhekane. Lokhu akuyona cishe ama-dinosaurs wezandla. Lokhu kungukubi okubabazekayo kwamanzi angaphansi kwamanzi.

Uma kwenzeka isikhala esingapheli, isikebhe esikhaleni sindiza njengekhasethi kusuka ku-razor evikelekile. Amayunithi amabili aphithiphithi ahleli emkhunjini (noma afutha, akucaci lapho) nangothando ababheka khona isivuno esikhazimulayo esibi esidlula zonke izithunzi ze-orange empunga. Ngalesi sikhathi, omunye ngendlela efanayo unqunywe esikebheni sesikhala, futhi bobabili baqhuma kakhulu. E-vacuo ayizwanga? Well, ngiyaxolisa. Imikhumbi ihlakazeka ngqo othulini, futhi i-orange crap ngesivinini esiyingozi isondela emhlabathini.

I-TITRES, umculo owesabekayo, ama-expanses angapheli olwandle, okubhaliwe kuvela ezansi kwesikrini: "I-Bermuda Triangle".

Ikhamera ehamba ngomkhumbi omncane bese ibheka ukusikwa. I-Sedoy Captain Teearn Binoculars kusuka kumashiya anesibindi nasePalloon: "Angiyithandi konke."

- Yebo, yebo, - uhlanganisa i-navigator grey.

"Angiyithandi kakhulu," izindebe zikakaputeni zicindezela.

"Nami," umgibeli wokububula.

- Uyazi ukuthi sikuphi? - Ibuza ukaputeni.

- Kuphi? - Unentshisekelo kwi-navigator.

Isibukeli esinolwazi sisemicangeni - iba iyathakazelisa futhi iyajabula.

- Ku-Bermuda Triangle, - Ufuna ukaputeni.

"O," kusho umgibeli we-navigator. - Ukucasulwa okungakanani. Imikhumbi eminingi ihambile lapha.

"Yebo, bambalwa," umkaputeni uyabubula.

Isibukeli esinolwazi sokuphrinta i-popcorn. Uma ubheka phambili - ngemizuzu eyishumi kuvela ukuthi ukaputeni kanye ne-navigator banamathela lapha nge-anchor akuseyona inyanga yokuqala, okunezela ukwesaba kwesehlakalo sokuqala sefilimu.

Ama-experes angaphansi kwamanzi. Phansi kukhona ibhokisi le-tin, elifana kakhulu nelonke lendlunkulu ye-UN. Phansi kwesikrini kuvela kanjena: "I-Laboratory engaphansi kwamanzi. Ikhamera ibheka kwi-porshole futhi ingena egumbini elibanzi ngamakhompyutha. Ngemuva komunye wabo uhlala i-brunette ethokomele enezinkomba nokusonteka ngokufanele ngomunwe wenkomba okhuphukile kukhiye wokungena.

- UJessica, ucwaningo lwakho kanjani? - Ibuza insizwa emincane enesikebhe esinesibindi esinjalo sokuthi isibukeli esinolwazi sikuqonda ngokushesha - umlingisi ophambili uphanze phambi kwethu.

- Kunezinye izinhlobo eziqinile ze-electromagnetic oscillations, "uJessica ukhathazekile, ecindezela esinye isikhathi sokwethembeka ukungena.

"Ungakhathazeki, sithandwa, manje sizoqonda," kusho uBlonde opholisayo ngemuva kwenye ikhompyutha.

"Ngiyabonga, sithandwa sami," umlandeli uhlangana nomsizikazi, futhi isibukeli esinolwazi sicabanga ukuthi ukungafundi esiteshini akukhona ekuhambeni.

"Hawu, bafo," kusho uthando.

Ngenxa yamakhompyutha amabili amanye, kuvela abanye abantu ababili.

- m? - Khuluma Guys.

- Yebo, inyanga yesibili ukusuka lapho sinama-oscillations aqinile kagesi, - oda othandekayo, futhi isibukeli esinolwazi siyakuqonda ukuthi ubuchopho bungekho esiteshini.

- Futhi ngizoya edolobheni nge-Cookies, - Nikisa i-protagonist, ngihlala ephuzi elincane (igama elithembekile!) Ngaphansi komhlaba futhi ngincibilika emanzini amnyama.

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Vala-up - I-Crap enkulu yewolintshi ngosuku iqala ukukhazimula. Vala-up - umhlambi wabasakazi abahamba ngomkhumbi, bese uphenduka, futhi u-Ida ngakolunye uhlangothi.

Guys eScuba Chalangs zikhula esiteshini futhi zifuna ama-oscillations aqinile we-electromagnetic.

UBrunette usula ukhiye wokungena nokumemeza: "Hheyi, bafo, kukhona amachashazi abomvu esikrinini, aya kuwe, athwale." Isibukeli esinolwazi siyakuqonda ngenjabulo ukuthi abafana ngeke babe nesikhathi sokusola. Emizuzu emithathu ezayo izibukeli ezinolwazi zithokozela, okucabanga.

"Hawu," kusho uBrunette.

"Kuyadingeka," Intandokazi iyamangala, "oshaka baziphatha ngandlela thile kuyamangaza.

Ukusuka egumbini elinezindonga zengilazi kuvela umfana ocashunwe ezingilazini nangesibonakhulu ngakwesobunxele. "Isosayensi," - ngenhlonipho icabanga isibukeli esinolwazi.

"Silahlekelwe uDon noJack," kusho uthando.

"Kuyadingeka," usosayensi uyamangaza, "oshaka baziphatha ngandlela thile.

"Wena," niyabuza ngokuqinile, "Sengivele ngithole ukuthi lokhu kwenzelwa amakristalu e-orange, amanethiwekhi ethu adonswa amakristalu e-oplialive?

"Cha," usosayensi uphendula ngokudabukisayo, "Angibonanga lutho ngaphambili. Ngizohamba, ngibeke izivivinyo ezimbalwa.

Ama-Nods athandwayo, isibukeli esinolwazi singena ngenhlonipho ngokusebenza.

I-General Plan, Exponse engapheli yasolwandle, umkhumbi wolwandle oluvela endaweni yesehlakalo 1. Ikhamera igijimisana ebhodini futhi ikhombisa ukuthi kusukela ohlangothini kolwandle kuhamba i-hose ehlanganisiwe, njengeplamu ngaphansi kwesinki. Ikhamera ishonile ngemuva kwe-hose futhi isibukeli siyabona ngenjabulo ukuthi i-hose isuka esikebheni kanye nesiteshi esingaphansi kwamanzi.

Eduze. Ushaka udla i-hose.

Isiteshi esingaphansi kwamanzi siyi-siren, amalambu abomvu acwebezela, amapayipi adwengulwa emigwaqweni emide, imibhangqwana indiza ngayo.

"Hhawu uNkulunkulu," i-Brunette Shets, ephethe ukhiye we-Enter, "Sihlulekile uhlelo lokusekelwa kwempilo, i-generator, umoya omncane futhi luphela umoya-mpilo. Okulunkulu, futhi akukho ukuxhumana.

Isibukeli esinolwazi siyakuqonda ukuthi kunokuthile okubalulekile kwi-hose ehlanganisiwe.

Ukusika umkhumbi endaweni yesehlakalo 1. Ukaputeni we-Sedoy, ukukhathazeka:

- Silahlekelwe ukuxhumana ne- "Oshoma", uMichael, Alloy futhi ubone ukuthi yini.

Isibukeli esinolwazi siyakuqonda ukuthi uMichael ngeke anciphise, futhi futhi kulungile.

Ukubamba okuthile okuhlaba umxhwele. UCaptain ugwaze unokhahlo, kepha unomusa, ubuso butshela iqhawe eliyinhloko:

- Ungesabi, Dokotela, sizosindisa umkakho.

I-General Plan - umphakathi wenuzi wenuzi ulayishwe emanzini. Isibukeli esinolwazi asikholelwa amehlo akhe.

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Futhi ukusika.

"Yebo, yebo," kusho ukaputeni othosiweyo, "sizosindisa wonke umuntu, thina siyi-atomic submarine yaseMelika yase-USA.

Isibukeli esinolwazi sixhaphaza izandla zifuna ifulegi elimhlophe.

- Ngiyabonga, ukaputeni, - unikina umlingiswa ophambili futhi wenza ubuso bokuhlupheka.

- Udokotela, - UMalume onobuso obunesibindi, kepha obuqandayo ufika kumlingiswa ophambili, - Ngingummeleli we-Merchant Fleet, futhi uma uhoxiswa ngokuphepha esiteshini sakho, uzokwahlulelwa.

"Qamba," kusho i-protagonist kanye izikhala.

Isiteshi esithi "Oshoma". Wonke umuntu uyacisha futhi ujuluka ngasikhathi sinye. Umalume othile ukhwela izingalo futhi uyamemeza: "Sonke siyafa lapha." Intandokazi yamthoba ngobumnene ngamazwi athi "vala, i-freak, uziphatha kabi kunabesifazane." Isibukeli esinolwazi siyakuqonda ukuthi othandekayo wakhe une-pich di e-psychology yenhlekelele.

Ukusika okungaphansi komhlaba.

"Sisondela" u-Oshom, "kusho ukaputeni womlingiswa ophambili," kuphela lokhu ... asinawo ukuntanta okungaphansi kwamanzi.

"Ucabangani ngaphambili?", I-oret isibukeli esinolwazi, kepha lena akuyona i-movie lapho konke kusemashalofini. Lapha kubalulekile ukucabanga.

"Azikho izinkinga," kusho i-protagonist, enamathisela isilevu, "ekushayweni kwami ​​ngibhukuda.

- Futhi nginawe, nami! - Kumemeza uMalume emikhunjini.

Ukaputeni kanye ne-protagonist yathuthumela kangangokuba isibukeli esinolwazi siyaqonda - eyodwa kabili ayibizanga.

Isiteshi esithi "Oshoma". Umalume, obophezelwe, oshisayo we-phynarine wokugcina ophuzi kusuka ekucushweni kwesiteshi ne-valit. I-Orange Crap enkulu ngosuku iqala ikhala. Oshaka bahlasela isikebhe basishukumisela, bengakubi.

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"Abashaka baziphatha ngandlela thile," othandekayo athi, futhi isibukeli esinolwazi siyaqonda ukuthi naye usemthanda futhi.

Umlingiswa ophambili nomalume ovela kumkhumbi wemikhumbi ubeke ama-scAblands bese ushiya umkhumbi we-athomu kuleso sango, okusobala ukuthi, ngokusobala, ngokushintshana kwezinga lokushintshana.

- Native, ngiyahamba! - I-protagonist.

"Esikhundleni salokho," abathandekayo.

Isibukeli esinolwazi sifuna ukubuza ukuthi uxhumano luvelaphi, ukube bekungenjalo, futhi akekho owazama ukumiswa, kodwa ngasizathu simbe wathula.

I-crap enkulu ye-orange phansi ijwayele ukukhanya. Umhlambi wabeshaka ngenani labantu abahlanu abayishumi nambili bazungeza iqhawe nomalume kubamalume abavela emikhunjini yomthengisi.

"UCaptain," othandekayo, "oshaka abaziphatha ngandlela thile bayamangaza, bagibela i-torpedo kubo.

"Ingane Yami," Kububula kakhulu uCaptain, "nginenkokhelo ephansi ePolveGaton."

"Kepha lokhu kuyithuba lakhe kuphela," othandekayo uyandiza.

"Kulungile," kusho uCaptain, "ngipheka i-torpedo."

Uhlelo lonke. Phezu kolwandle olungapheli, umthombo we-splash uthatha.

- Ngiyabonga, cap, yonke i-Normul, - kubika i-protagonist.

- UWillis, unjalo? - Sots isibukeli esinolwazi.

Isiteshi esithi "Oshoma", umlingisi ophambili nokuqabulana okuthandekayo, ukubuza ngokuhlukile "AR futhi kulungile?".

Usosayensi ugxumela egumbini elinezindonga zengilazi nokumemeza: "Ngakuqonda konke, lezi zinhlamvu ze-orange zingamafutha owomile, nomfokazi".

Umalume ovela emikhakheni yomthengisi ukhipha i-akm futhi aqhube umugqa kumakhompyutha.

- Ucashe kanjani emshinini wamanzi ?! - I-oret isibukeli esinolwazi, kepha siyayinyanya.

- Uyini? - Umlingisi ophambili uyamangala, ubheka izidumbu zozakwethu.

"Ngingumenzeli wezempi oyimfihlo," umalume kamalume ngokukhululeka, uvela, angenzi-mthengisi-mkhumbi. - Kunemfihlo enkulu yezempi, futhi wena, izimbotshana, esiteshini sethu kusivimbela ekwenzeni uzungu lwezempi lwezempi.

Umlingiswa ophambili nokubaleka okuthandekayo, futhi i-ejenti eyimfihlo yanele ukusinda kokugcina - uBrunette - bese ithi ibinzana eliyinqaba: "Uzoba ngukudlula kwami."

Brunette emgodini. Isibukeli emgodini. I-ejenti eyimfihlo nayo ayizange iqonde ukuthi bengiqonde ukuthini, ngakho-ke ngokushesha iphonsa i-brunette esangweni. Isango ligcwalisa kancane kancane ngamanzi, i-brunette ifuna iminwe yokuhamba ukhiye we-ENTER ONLINE, DIMMIng.

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Imizuzu emihlanu ezayo umlingiswa oyinhloko, i-ejenti eyintandokazi neyimfihlo iqhutshwa esiteshini esibhidlikile bese ishaya umuntu onempumelelo ehlukahlukene. Ngemuva kwalokho banqoba okuhle, bawela ngalé kwePorthole, baqabule, bathi bahle futhi bafunge ukuthi empilweni elandelayo ngokuqinisekile kuzoba ndawonye.

Iklabishi angaphansi kweklabishi.

"UCaptain," kusho amatilosi angaphansi komhlaba, "bafa, kwakudingeka bahambe.

- Yebo, yebo, - ukaputeni we-sobs, - phambili phambili, i-angle yama-degree angamashumi amabili.

Isiteshi esithi "Oshoma". Ukukhanya okukhanyayo okukhanyayo kuvela ku-porshole. Phansi eduze kwesiteshi, ikhasethi elikhulu elivela ensingoni evikelekile lehlisiwe. U-Alien Unshise ushicilelwa kusuka kukhasethi (kahle, noma aunty, hook), khulisa i-orange crap futhi ubushelelezi ngobumnene.

Vala-up - amehlo ayindilinga womlingiswa ophambili. "Ngiyakuqonda kanjani," kusho iqhawe lesibukeli esinolwazi.

Iklabishi angaphansi kweklabishi.

"Kuthule," kusho uCaptain, "othile ungqongqoza ngaphakathi."

Isibukeli esinolwazi sicabanga ngosayizi womkhumbi ongaphansi komhlaba, ijubane lasolwandle, i-reactionor yenuzi yomafuphi, ukugunda kwangaphansi komhlaba nangokuthula kusuka ekujabuleni.

- Vula isango, okuthi kulokhu okumenyezelwa, liyalela ukaputeni.

Isango lixosha i-protagonist, othandekayo ngokwawo (lapha fanfares) ngaphandle kwe-scuba.

- Iphelele, Intandokazi! - Imemeza umlingiswa ophambili futhi imfisela kakhulu kuma-sneaker ezihlathini.

Intandokazi yenza i- "KHE-KHE-KHE", ikhafa amanzi, ivula amehlo futhi imamatheke.

Isihlathi sikaCaptain sigoqa ukudakwa okudaywe.

Bescrase Marine Smooth, Blackout, TITERS.

Ngokuphikisana nesizinda sezihloko, sizwa umculo ophazamisayo futhi sincipha ukuncipha. Lesi sibukeli esinolwazi sibhekene ne-orgasm.

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