Usizi Lwabavakashi: Izinhlobo eziyi-10 zabahambi be-creepy

Anonim

Tu.

I-Columnist, u-Ella Dare, uhamba kakhulu: yilokhu okuthandayo. Ngakho-ke isipiliyoni sokusinda nabanye abahambi esikanye nabo nabanye abahambi siba khona. Wabhala ngabagibeli abahahayo ngokwahlukana, futhi ngezinhlobo zonke ezibiwe ezitshelwe kule kholamu.

Ngakho-ke kwaphuma lapho bengihamba nabahambi abahlukile. Cha, cha, hhayi ngoba ngemuva kohambo nami, bangiphonsa kuze kube phakade, ngoba njengoba nginawo uNowa omningi, ngisheshe ngikwazi ukunambitha konke okuwumhlangano. Ngamanye amaphuzu, ukuhamba okuhlangene sekusondele kusondele kweshumi okuphezulu. Angikwazi nje ukumelana nakho, kanti othile ovela kubangane bami azobuthana. Noma othile ovela kubo akayithandi indawo engingidonsela kuyo. Eminye iminyaka ngibe nabahambi esikanye nabo, futhi wonke umuntu muhle futhi uyamangalisa.

Ngokuqondile, cishe yonke into. Kunezinhlobonhlobo eziningana zabahambi abakanye nabo abakwazi ukonakalisa iholide labo kunoma ngubani, futhi manje ngizokutshela ngabo.

Ukungaphuthi / ukungabhemi

O, laba akuyena abantu, kodwa sacchada esihogweni! Umuntu ophilile eceleni kwawo unzima. Cabanga, uvula ibhodlela kusukela ekuseni ngebhodlela, ukuze usuku lubekwe. Futhi-ke intombi yakho ishayisa ngaphandle "kwemikhuba emibi." Ukuyibiza kanjani. UGrozno ubheka wena futhi ubheka inqubekelaphambili:

- Ingabe utshwala?

Indaba efanayo iyaphindwa ngesikhathi sasemini nesidlo sakusihlwa. Futhi uma futhi uphethe ungqimba lwe-liqueur kanye nombono wolwandle, ufuna ukuhlala ebusuku, khona-ke uwonke usizi. Ungumuntu oqediwe, futhi uzokukhumbuza ngakho kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze uvumele.

Ukungabhemi okubi kakhulu. Uma kungaphuzwayo okungenani ngezikhathi ezithile zigcina zona ezandleni zazo, ezingabhemi zivame kwimodi engu-24/7 zisenkingeni yokulwa ne-nicotine. Futhi uchitha isikhathi eholidini phakathi kwezinkulumo uzofa maduze, futhi uzama ukucasha ngemuva kwesihlahla futhi ujabulele ugwayi. Futhi uma ungeyena ne-neurotic, khona-ke ngemuva kwamasonto ambalwa, kule modi, ngokuqinisekile kuzophenduka kuko!

Izingane / abazali bazo

Tu3.

O, lezi zingelosi ezinhle! Futhi abazali babo, baqiniseka ukuthi izingelosi kudingeka zazi umhlaba. Ngenxa yalokhu, awukujabuleli ubuhle be-Brugge, futhi ufuna indlu yangasese, bese uthola ujusi we-apula, bese kuthi indlu yangasese futhi, bese isitolo sezingubo zezingane, ngoba amabhulukwe amathathu asevele engcolile, futhi Akusekho okunye. Ngiyabonga izulu ukuthi ingane yakini (noma engcolile) ayizange iwele emseleni!

Lapho-ke unesidlo sakusihlwa endaweni yokudlela, uhlanganiswe ngokuqinile ezintweni zokusebenza, i-napkin, ukudla nengilazi, ubeke izindlebe zakho ezisele ezinhlamvwini eziyisishiyagalombili, ukuze ungakuzwa ukukhala kwe-CHAD nezwi elinesizungu nezwi le intombi eyanxusa ingane ukuthi idle okungenani ucezu.

Ukuthenga? Yebo, uma ufuna ukujabulisa wonke umuntu esitolo, woza, zama.

Nasebhishi? Ngisho umzuzu ngeke uyibone le ncwadi, ngoba yilomzuzu lapho ingane izoyisebenzisa ukuginya itshe noma idlale ekujuleni kokuphakama kwayo. Zibambe? Khohlwa, ibhishi yindawo yokujabulisa ingane, hhayi wena, iphutha eliyisiwula.

Cabanga, konke kuzoshintsha lapho ingane ikhula? Kathathu ha. Kuzoba kubi kakhulu. Kuphela manje ingane egoqwe ngeke inyuse futhi ishaye ama-hysteresics ngenxa yokuthi esikhundleni somdlalo ku-typewriter wadonswa ukubuka ubuciko obungaqondakali, futhi wakhungatha, wafuna ukujabulisa okulungile kanye nama-sneaker amasha. Futhi uzozisola ukuthi akanaminyaka emibili ubudala: Kulesi sikhathi ake walala!

Ama-connoisseurs omlando namasiko

Kubonakala sengathi, hlobo luni lwengozi kubo? Ngokuphambene nalokho, izinzuzo eyodwa. Lesi sihambi esikanye sazi konke, singaphendula noma imiphi imibuzo, uhlala enomqondo wokuhamba, omnandi futhi othakazelisa naye.

Yebo, kanjani! Lapha uya edolobheni elincane laseFrance. Izindlu ezinhle, indawo ethokomele enama-planeis namakhekhe. Futhi kungazelelwe ukukhala kokuxinana:

- UVan Gogh wahlala kule ndlu! Izinsuku ezine! Ngiphuphe lapha ukuya!

Futhi ufika ezitebhisini. Futhi uyenqaba ukusukuma ngehora elilandelayo amahora amathathu, ngasikhathi sinye ukutshela i-biography hhayi nje kuphela uVen Gogh, kodwa futhi nengxenye eyikhulu yabantu ayephila nabo, kanye namadlozi nezihlobo zabanini bendlu. Futhi wawunenhlanhla uma ngabe leshwa lokhu kungenzeki kusuka equanua aquitan. Lapho-ke kuzodingeka uchithe ubusuku kulezi zinyathelo.

Futhi ngosuku olulandelayo, uzokuhudulela emnyuziyamu, lapho azochitha khona okungenani ihora eliseduze kwesithombe ngasinye. Ngemuva kwalokho kwesesibili. Kwathi okwesithathu. Futhi ngakho-ke kuzoqhubeka kuze kube yilapho uvakashela i-Filateli Museum eVatican (lokhu kuwukuphekela njalo okunjalo) noma ngeke uphelelwe, uthathe isinqumo sokuya kwiPirates.

Abasubathi

I-TU2.

Lokhu akunangozi, ekuqaleni. Yebo, uthanda umngane wakho ukugibela ibhayisekili. Noma ukubhukuda. Noma vele uhambe ngokushesha - Yini kusukela?

Kepha ohambweni oluhlangene luba yinkinga, futhi ngokushesha.

Awukwazi ukugcina ijubane elithathwe yilokhu kuhlanya. Ufuna ukuhamba uzungeze igxathu elisheshayo le-boulevard, futhi ugijimela endaweni ethile kungathi unuka izithende zakhe nge-pepper ekuseni.

Unihudula emvuleni ekuhambeni ngebhayisekili emasimini. Kwenza ukukhuphuka yonke phakathi kwentaba noma umbhoshongo, ngoba ukuqeqeshwa kwe-Cardio. Ngabika kusihlwa ukuthi kusasa unesifo somugqa osemfuleni osentabeni. Noma gxuma nge-tarzanka ethile edumile.

Ukuthuka iqiniso lokuthi awuzange uziholele kwifomu lohambo olunomthwalo wemfanelo, futhi ngenxa yalokho ngemuva. Ijaha ngisho nasolwandle, ngoba inqubo yakho nejubane alifanelanga. Futhi eqinisweni lokuthi abanye bathanda ukujabulela eholidini ngaphandle kwejubane noma bayinqobe bona, akakholelwa. Ngokuqondene neqiniso lokuthi izicubu zakho zilimaza ngemuva kwezazi izolo amakhilomitha angamashumi amabili endaweni elandelayo kaNkulunkulu, futhi manje udinga iphupho lonkulunkulu kuphela.

Inleka

Ukuhambela ngaso sonke isikhathi kuphenduka ukufuna okunzima, lapho omunye wabangane bakho - gourmet. Futhi, akukho lutho okufanekisa. Uyayazi indawo yokudlela enhle ye-Oslo noma eNaples Pizzeria. Nomaphi emhlabeni ukulungele ukusiza ekukhetheni izitsha zasendaweni noma izikhumbuzo ze-Culinary. Ngeke ibe ngephutha ngewayini.

Kepha uma kungazelelwe ufune ukudla maphakathi nosuku, lapho izindawo zokudlela eziningi zivaliwe, futhi uzodonsa imbuthwa endaweni yokuqala yokudlula - qaphela. Intukuthelo yakhe ngobuwula bakho kanye nokuqanjwa kwe-gastromic kungenzeka kube yinde. Futhi zama ukungathengi izitsha zasemgwaqweni ngaphandle kokuvunywa kwazo, kepha uma kungenjalo ubeka engcupheni yokugqekeza ekukhaleni:

- Lesi izingulube zokudla! Khonza ngokushesha!

Futhi ngokuqinisekile ungazami ukukhetha isihlalo sakusihlwa noma imikhiqizo yokupheka. Ngoba iphutha lakho elingenakugwemeka ngeke kukhunjulwe hhayi kuphela kuze kube sekupheleni kohambo, kodwa kuze kube sekupheleni kwempilo! Futhi uthele iwayini lakhe elithandekayo uma kwenzeka, endaweni yokudlela lapho i-gourmet ayefuna ukuyithola, kwakungekho tafula lamahhala. Ngaphandle kwalokho, umngani wakho uzohlupheka ubusuku bonke.

Izithombe zezithombe / zemfashini

Vele, lezi yizigaba ezimbili ezahlukahlukene zabantu. Kepha abamele bobabili babuhlungu uma ungabhekiseli koyedwa wabo. Ake sithi uma ungumthwebuli wezithombe, kanye nemodeli yakho yemfashini, noma okuphambene nalokho - wabonana. Noma uma nobabili niyizithombe zobungcweti obuthile. Kepha uma uyimodeli yemfashini noma ungenandaba nesithombe, bese ubhala.

Umthwebuli wezithombe, njengomsubathi, ukhuphuka kuzo zonke izintaba naku-tower, enye injongo kuphela. Uvuka ekuseni kakhulu ukuze abambe isibani esifanele, engaboni ukuthi wavusa bonke abahambi. Uhlasela abantu uma ebheka isithombe. Ngezinyoni, uma eBerdvotcher. Ukukuhudula kuma-Slums uma kuthwebula izithombe zenhlalo. Futhi noma ungahuduli - ingabe uzokuvumela lokhu okumnandi ngayo yonke imishini yayo?

Imodeli yenza okufanayo, nje ukuyidubula. Yini engacasula iqine ukwedlula i-Endless yakhe:

- Sithandwa, ngisuse eduze komthombo? Ngisho lapha kulesi simo. Nakulokho. Futhi ngembali! Futhi ngisusa kanjani i-selfie! Futhi manje ngifuna i-juliet balcony, ngiyagula lapho, futhi uthatha isithombe ukuze ngithandane nawe!

Ngemuva kwezinsuku ezimbalwa zempilo yonke, uzisola ngokuthi i-octot yesithombe nokuzingela kuyizinto ezihlukile.

Abalandeli bombala weqiniso, ubuqiniso kanye nokuxhumana nabantu bendawo

I-TU1

Lezi ze-eccentrikhi nazo azikwazi ukwesabisa ngokushesha. Kepha uma uqonda ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukukhuphukela embhoshongweni namhlanje, futhi ubheke itshe lesikhumbuzo, engiphupha ngaso kulelo Cathedral esidumile - uzothatha ukukhathazeka.

Usuku nosuku uzophambukiswa empilweni yendawo, ukugwema ngokucophelela noma yiziphi izingosi zabavakashi, ezikhangayo, izindawo zokudlela ezinhle, izitolo, izinkombandlela futhi - ikakhulukazi! - Bakwethu. Ngasikhathi sinye, umngani wakho ubonakala eqondile ukulwela ezinye izimbobo ezinkulu, okuyinto yasekhaya egwema, hhayi ukubala i-baryg noma i-mardali.

Uzokhetha ukuxhumana kuphela nalabo abangakwazi ukukuqonda ngenxa yesithiyo solimi, ngoba kungenzeka ukwazi izwe ngale ndlela. Izozama izitsha ezithandekayo kakhulu zokubheka nje. Futhi njengesipho, umama waseGrisi uzothenga izicathulo zamadoda eziyiqiniso ezenziwe ngesandla emuva ngonyaka owedlule. Futhi ukwenza wenze okufanayo.

Ekupheleni kohambo, ungathola ama-phobias ambalwa namanga, kepha uzofunda ukungawaqondi kuphela abesifazane abadala abavela emadolobhaneni amancane amaGrikhi, kodwa futhi nezimvu.

Kanezy

Lababantu bayesabeka uma ubala inoveli ye-resort. Noma nje efeni elingelona iqiniso elinomdlandla obukekayo, omomotheke cafe yakho.

- Ngabe ukhohliwe ukuthi isoka likulindile ekhaya? Kungani wasibeka isiketi esifushane kangaka? Ngabe ufuna lezi zilwane zikuthole kusukela ekuseni kuze kube kusihlwa? Ziphathe kahle!

Ungacabangi ngisho nama-nightclub, amabhishi ama-nudist kanye nezinye izimbotshana! Futhi zama ukwenza ubuso ngezitini ngenkathi usondela kwabesilisa. Futhi nabesifazane, futhi, awusoze wazi ukuthi mangaki amahlane phakathi kwawo.

Ngokuvamile, phumula futhi ujabulele ngeke kube lula. Ngakho-ke, basho, benqaba futhi baziphatha njengoba nisho! Noma uphinde uzame ukuphunyula.

Fuyile

Lona ubusuku obuhle kakhulu. Uma umuntu ovela kubahambi bakho engenamali encane, ungaphuma ngandlela thile. Kepha uma umngane wakho ecebile, futhi ngamunye kini uyazikhokhela, khona-ke uzokuzwa kungekudala komunye umuntu kuleli holide. Futhi ngeshwa ngokuphelele.

Kepha ziduduze iqiniso lokuthi wonke umuntu unezinkinga zawo. Futhi ukuthi umngane wakho okungenani hhayi iBerdVotcher, hhayi i-amateur yezemidlalo yeparachute futhi ngeke athenge indiza ohambweni lwakhe, ngakho-ke ukudonsela amafektri akhe wezindiza.

Futhi izilimi ezinama-champagne nezindawo zokuphumula kusukela ekuseni kuze kube sebusuku - akulutho, ungabhekana nakho. Yize kuzoba nzima.

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