Ngokuqala kwenhlekelele ebudlelwaneni bomndeni, abaningi baqala ukwakha amacebo ngesehlukaniso, ngaphandle kokuzama ukusindisa umshado. Kodwa-ke, isehlukaniso siyisinyathelo esibucayi, futhi kufanele senziwe kancane, ngokucophelela nangokupholile konke "ngoba" ngokumelene ". Umshado ubambiswano lwabantu ababili abahlukene, nobunzima obusafufusa - ngokwemvelo. Ukuze ungashisi amabhuloho, kepha ukuqonda ukuthi isehlukaniso siyadingeka ngempela, vele uziphendule imibuzo engu-9.
1. Ngabe ngiyidinga ngempela isehlukaniso noma ngidinga ubuhlobo obuhlukile nomlingani wami?
Kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi komshado we-HAISA NOMSHADO, ongeke ugcine noma yini. Imibhangqwana imvamisa iza esosayensi ezingozini abanezinkinga nokuthi abangakwazi ukuzixazulula ngaphandle kosizo. Uma emshadweni wakho awuhambelani nokuthile ebudlelwaneni uqobo, kodwa ngasikhathi sinye indoda yemigwaqo futhi ufuna ukuba naye, khona-ke kufanele usebenze ngamaphutha bese uxoxa ngakho konke ngengxenye yakho. Khumbula, isehlukaniso yisilinganiso eseqile.2. Ngabe ungeze usizo kochwepheshe futhi wazama ukusebenza ebudlelwaneni?
Ngeshwa, ukwelashwa komndeni akuhlali kunikeza imiphumela efiselekayo, kepha noma ngabe uchwepheshe engakwazi ukusiza - lesi akusona isizathu sokwehlisa izandla zakhe. Kungenzeka ukuthi uchwepheshe okhethiwe awelo ulwazi olwanele namakhono okusiza - ungazama ukukhetha enye i-psychotherapist. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngamunye wabo unezindlela zawo. Futhi, ngendlela, uma uchwepheshe ethi umshado awunakusindiswa - nakanjani uguqulwe.
Kodwa-ke, ngisho nasengcebeni esezingeni lokuqala akufanele zilinde izenzo zemilingo - ukusebenza kwezenzo zakhe eziningi kakhulu kuncike kuwe. Bobabili abalingani kumele bavule futhi balungele ukuguquka. Umshado unamathuba onke wokubuyiselwa kuphela uma abalingani befuna ukuba ndawonye futhi bathole imizwa efudumele komunye nomunye.
3. Noma mhlawumbe izingcindezi eziningi ziye zaphuma muva nje?
Ukuhlolwa okukhulu nobunzima maduze noma ngokuhamba kwesikhathi buza ngisho nakubabili abajabule kunabo bonke. Abantu abanamandla futhi abadumile, izinkinga zezezimali, ukulahleka komsebenzi womunye wabalingani, izinkinga ngokukhulelwa, njll. Lapho lokhu kuvela, ingozi yesehlukaniso yanda kakhulu. Uma impilo yakho igcwele ingcindezi, khona-ke ngisho nezinkinga ezincane ebudlelwaneni kuzobonakala kukhulu futhi kungalingani - ngokucindezela, umuntu ulahlekelwa amandla okucabanga ngobuhlakani.Ngakho-ke, uma imicabango yesehlukaniso ihambela ngokufika kobunzima - ungaphuthumi ngesinqumo, vumela uqonde izinkathazo, futhi kuphela lapho usibona isimo sekhanda elibandayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uyiqembu, futhi eqenjini ukubhekana nezinkinga kube lula kakhulu.
4. Ngabe ngiyawabona icala lami?
Kunoma yikuphi ukungqubuzana, bobabili kufanele basolwe ngakho bobabili, futhi akunandaba, ngangokunokwenzeka, umlingani aziphatha futhi azithobe kanjani. Abekho abantu abaphelele nabangenacala ngokuphelele, ikakhulukazi ebudlelwaneni. Kunzima ukuhlola izenzo zakho - mhlawumbe kwenye indawo lapho ugxekwa ngokungadingekile, ungabukeli phansi, ungaligcini izwi lakho, wenze izinkinga ezivelayo, bese ecasulwa yilutho.
Yazi Icala Lakho - Akusho Ukuzisola Kuzo Zonke Izinkinga. Lokhu kusho, thatha umthwalo wemfanelo ngamazwi akho, izenzo, kanye nomlingani kufanele abe nesibopho sawo. Ukuqonda lapho kwenziwa khona iphutha, ungakha uhlelo lokusebenza lokulungisa isimo.
5. Lo mshado kwasekuqaleni kwakuyiphutha, noma inqubo ingaba senkingeni?
Kunamacala lapho imibhangqwana engena emshadweni ekuqaleni ayilungele ubudlelwane bomndeni, bona ngokwabo abaqondi. Ngenxa yalokhu, izinkinga zabo zivela cishe kusukela ekuqaleni kwempilo yomndeni. Lokhu kwenzeka kaningi lapho inyunyana iqoshwa ngokushesha okukhulu futhi bobabili bebengenaso isikhathi sokufunda umlingani wabo ngokwanele. Noma, lapho umshado wenziwa ngenxa yokukhulelwa okungakahlelwanga, lapho zonke izihlobo zigcizelela ubudlelwano obusemthethweni. Uma lokhu kuyicala lakho, bese ubeka isehlukaniso, vele uqonde lesi sifundo esibalulekile ngekusasa bese uzama ukungagxili ku-rake efanayo.Uma isinqumo emshadweni senziwe ngokuzwakalayo, ngemuva kobudlelwano obude nesinqumo asibathintanga abantu besithathu, manje, ngesikhathi sezinkinga, umane nje, udinga ukusebenza ngamaphutha, cabanga ngendlela yakho yokwakha ubudlelwano futhi Qondisisa ukuthi namanje awekho kuMlingani "ongalungile".
6. Uma isizathu sesehlukaniso sami ebulilini abampofu, ngabe bakhona imizamo yokulungisa konke?
Ukuxazulula izinkinga empilweni eseduze, akudingekile ukuxhumana nochwepheshe. Izinkinga zecebo elinjalo zixazululwa ngempumelelo ngokubamba iqhaza kwezimbili. Njengoba izibalo zikhombisa, imibhangqwana ehambisanayo ehambisanayo kulokhu, kuyohlale ikhona into efana yedwa futhi awemukeleki komunye. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, ucansi lucishe luhlale lukhanga, kepha minyaka yonke luba ngcono kakhulu - kepha kulula ukululungisa.
Khuluma nomlingani ngokungagwegwesi, ngobuhlakani ungitshele ukuthi awuneliseki futhi yini ongathanda ukuyishintsha. Lalelani. Ukuze ingxoxo iphumelele, kufanele ube njengoFrank ngangokunokwenzeka, ungabe usamangalelane futhi ungagxeki. Isehlukaniso Ngenxa yocansi olubi akuyona isizathu esiphumelela kakhulu. Yize kunjalo, ukuze ngijwayele kulokhu futhi usungule ubulili lula kakhulu kunokubheka umphefumulo ohlobene.
7. Ingabe okulindelwe kimi emkhakheni wempilo yomndeni noshade naye akunakwena ngokweqile?
Esikhathini salowo okhethwayo kanye nesikhathi esithengiwe, lo mbhangqwana umatasatasa ngokufana, okubonakala kubo sengathi kuhlala kunjalo. Indoda izonikeza masonto onke ukunikeza izimbali, izinkulumo zokuncoma, iphunga kumakha, futhi unkosikazi uzohlala ehamba njengaphansi komugqa, athandeka ukuhlanza ukuhlanzeka endlini futhi apheke ukudla. Futhi yini ukudumazeka lapho konke kunokunemba okuphambene. Futhi konke ngoba impilo ehlanganayo akuseyona iholide nsuku zonke.Ngokusebenzisa indima yayo endimeni yayo ebudlelwaneni bokulindelwe akusona isikhathi eside. Owesifazane uhlela ukuthi ngisho nangemva komshado, uzokwazi ukwakha umsebenzi, nokuziphatha okuningi futhi aphile ngohlelo lwawo. Eqinisweni, yingxenye yosuku ukuma e-slab, ivuse isobho ngesandla esisodwa, esinye ukufundisa izifundo nengane, bese uswayipha ingcindezi nengane. Akunakwenzeka ukuthi othile alindele lokhu ngqo enhlanganweni yomshado.
Abaningi engqikithini yomshado nabalingani balindele kakhulu, ngakho-ke kufanelekile ukubheka isimo sekhanda. Uma ungakulungeli ngengxenye yekhaya yokuhlala ndawonye, kungenzeka ukuthi awukavuthwa ngaphambi komshado - akuyena bonke abantu abanesitolo somndeni, futhi akekho umuntu okufanele asolwe.
8. Futhi ingabe ikhona okwesithathu?
Lapho ukuqhekeka ebudlelwaneni kuvuke ngenxa yokuvukela komuntu sikhathi, ukudlala ngothando, amasayithi athandanayo - umuntu kunzima ukuqonda ukuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani. Futhi into yokuqala okudingeka uyiphendule - bekungeyona into oyethemba ngokungathembeki ngesifiso 'sokuphunyuka' ezinkingeni ezikhona ebudlelwaneni obukhona? Imvamisa, ngesambulo esifanele nawe, impendulo yombuzo ihle. Lapho kuvela izinkinga eziningi ezifuywayo emndenini, futhi abashadikazi bakhohlwa ukuthi omunye nomunye bathanda kanjani, kubonakala sengathi ubudlelwano bufinyelele ekugcineni. Futhi ngakho-ke ngifuna uthando nemizwa yothando ...
Isithandwa / isithandwa sikuvumela ukuba uzizwe njengothando olusanda kuthandana nengane esencane, esekuhambeni ngosuku, ulindele umhlangano olandelayo. Kepha ngaphambi kokuthi uthathe isinqumo ngesehlukaniso ngenxa "yothando" olusha kufanelekile ukubheka emuva kwizibalo. Cishe ama-75% obudlelwano "ohlangothini" Ungakhuli ube yinto ebucayi. Imvamisa, ukukopela ngokwako kwenzeka ngisho nangesizathu sokuthi ngithande omunye umuntu, kodwa ngenxa yokwema okuthile okusha. Kodwa-ke, kungenzeka ukufezekisa lokhu emshadweni, ngokumane uthumele isisu sakho sangaphakathi sezothando ukuze ubudlelwane obukhona obukhona.
9. Ngabe ngiyamthanda umngane wami womshado?
Uthando aluqinisekisi ukuthi ubudlelwano buzohlelelwa ukuthi bube yi-100%, kepha kunamathuba amaningi nalo. Uma uhlangabezana nomlingani okungenani omncane kakhulu, khona-ke akufanele ulahle ubudlelwano - vele uzame ukulwa, futhi uzohlala unesikhathi sokunciphisa.