Ngeke kube yizindaba noma ngubani ozakwethu, emphefumulweni wazo imizwa yothando evuthayo kaningi ukwanga. Ukusuka ekuthandeni okukhanyayo ezindebeni zakhe esihlathini kuya engcupheni yobuciko be-French ... kodwa abanye besifazane abaqondi ukuthi bangabona kanjani lapho abathandekayo bayaziqabula ebunzini.
ULaurel Steinsg, udokotela weFilosofi, uthi: "Ukuqabula ebunzini kukhombisa ukusondelana okunamandla okungokomzwelo. Lokhu akuwona ukukhanga okubingelela noma okungabekezeleleki, kunalokho ukuthi isenzo esingesisibangeli esidlulisa okuthile okujulile.Masinikeze izizathu eziyisithupha zokuthi kungani umuntu eqande ebunzini.
1. Umbhangqwana unokuxhumana okusondele kakhulu
Ukuqabula ebunzini kusuka kozakwethu wothando kukhuluma ngokuthile okuhluke ngokuphelele kunalokho okuphohliwe endlebeni egumbini lokulala. "Ngenkathi ukwanga ezindebeni kuthola ukuheha ubulili, ukwanga ebunzini kusho ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kobuhlobo," kuchaza uSteinberg.
Kungakho abazali noma ogogo nomkhulu baqabule ibunzi - lesi senzo siwukubonakaliswa kothando olungokomzwelo.
2. Uzakwethu ufuna ukwanga umphefumulo
Eqinisweni, kunokuphikisana kwangempela okuvela endaweni yemvelo yokubuka ukuthi kungani ukwanga ebunzini kubangela ukushisa ngaphakathi. Imfudumalo nengcindezi yezindebe zomunye umuntu ebunzini kuvuselela indlala ye-prycoidal eqokomisa amakhemikhali abangela injabulo nokuphakamisa ingqondo. Lo mlingani wesenzo u-Essence waqabula umcabango walokho othandekayo, imibono ahlanganyela naye, naye njengomuntu, hhayi nje umzimba wenyama.3. Owesifazane hhayi nje into elungile
Akunandaba, lo ngumngane ongabonanga enkulisa, noma inkanuko entsha - uma indoda inganga intombazane ebunzini lakhe, ungaqiniseka ukuthi ngesikhathi esifanayo acabanga ngaye (ngisho nabaningi umzimba omuhle). "Ukuqabula ebunzini kukhombisa ukuthi lona wesifazane uthathwa njengento engeyona into yocansi," kusho uSteinberg. Lesi yisihawu, futhi asiyona indlela enobuhlakani bomlingani ekhombisa ukuthandwa nokuhlonipha umfazi wakhe.
4. Uzakwethu futhi ufuna ukuzwa uthando
"Abalingani bavame ukulingisa ukuziphatha okuhle abafuna ukukuthola," kuchaza uSteinberg. Ekhuluma ngokulinganayo, uma indoda iqabula ngowesifazane ebunzini lakhe, inethemba lokuthi uzophendula nothando.5. Ukuheha ngokocansi akukho
Uma umlingani eqabula ebunzini kuphela, kungasho ukuthi intshisekelo yezocansi ebudlelwaneni iya ekwehleni. Kodwa-ke, kuxhumeke kakhulu ngokwenzekayo phakathi kokubili. Uma intombazane ingaqiniseki ukuthi kwenzekani ebudlelwaneni bakhe, kufanelekile ukuzama ukufaka izindebe zakhe ngaphansi kwalokhu ukuqabula futhi ubone ukuthi kuzokwenzekani ngokulandelayo.
Uma umlingani esuswa noma kubonakala sengathi unqikazekile, sekuyisikhathi sokukhuluma ngokwenzekile. Futhi uma ngemuva kwalokhu kuzolandela ukwanga okuvalelisa ebunzini kusuka ebunzini kusuka ku-interlocutor, kungasho ukuthi wachitha isikhathi ngokuphelele, kodwa akafuni okuningi ebudlelwaneni.
6. Umlingani "ugubha ukunqoba", ekholelwa ukuthi unenhlanhla yokuthola umfazi onjalo
Lapho uthola umlingani nemizwa efanayo, kuyimpumelelo ngempela, ngemuva kwalokho umuzwa wokunqoba ungavela.
Mhlawumbe yingakho izithombe nama-memes ngokuqabula ebunzini sekudume kakhulu ku-Instagram. "Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi othile ukubheka wena nesimo sakho sengqondo ubaluleke kakhulu kuwe, impumelelo enkulu, futhi abantu bayaziqhenya ngokukhombisa ukuthi bangakhombisa," kusho uStainberg.