I-Peskhologist Pavel ZygmanVich ithetha malunga ne-5 yeempazamo eziphambili, ezenziwa ngekhephu lolwalamano. Kwaye amadoda nabafazi.
Awu, abantu bayahlukana, kwaye ayingabo bonke abantu bakwazi ukuphila ngomphefumlo kumtshato wedayimani. Kwiminyaka edlulileyo, ndiqokelele ukuqaphela okwaneleyo ukwenza i-5 yeempazamo eziphambili ezenziweyo ngabantu xa behlukana. Masiqhubeke.#Nye. Ukwahlula sisiphelo sehlabathi
Kubonakala ngathi abaninzi kangangokuba umsantsa nomntu omthandayo ubeka ngokupheleleyo ngokupheleleyo ulonwabo lwehlabathi. Ngoku ukukhanya okumhlophe kukwipeni, ndifuna ukufihla phantsi kwengubo kwaye kubonakala ngathi awusoze utshatele apho, kuba ayinamsebenzi, hayi.
Kuluncedo ukwazi-siqikelela kakhulu ixesha lokuphendula kwethu ngokweemvakalelo kwaye sithambekele ekusebenziseni.
Ngapha koko, zombini iintlungu kunye nolonwabo zikhawuleza kunokuba silindele (nangona kunjalo, iintlungu zihamba kancinci). Zininzi izifundo zengqondo kwesi sihloko, ungaziqhelanisa nawe (ubone umzekelo, SEFFT et al., 1999, okanye uGilbert Et Al., 1998).
Ngokwenyani, intlungu ekwiphulo lokwahlulahlula kunokukhawuleza - ngakumbi ukuba ubudlelwane bungaphelelanga. Ngokomndilili, ubambe iinyanga ezintandathu ukuba zifike ngokupheleleyo (igama eliphakathi - ngumndilili; umntu ohlala ixesha elide, umntu mfutshane).
# 2. Andiyonto, andisebenzi
Abantu abaninzi baqala ukubandakanyeka kwiholide. Kubonakala kubo ukubahlukana kuvavanyo kubo njengomntu njengomntu. I-Logic ayikabizibaleki-ukuba iyahlukana nam, oko kuthetha ukuba kukho into engalunganga kum, kuba bayaphula kuphela abo into ayisebenziyo, abayihlukanga ngesiqhelo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku, ukukhohlisa. Ukumka kubantu abohlukeneyo kwaye ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye ukuze enze isifo "Andiyonto", ndifuna ubungqina bokuba bunzulu kakhulu kunobuncinci "ophoko."
Ukuzibandakanya ngokwayo ayisiyobungqina. Le yinto nje yokuba ungatolika njengoko uthanda. Kwaye ukutyhilwa kwawo njengobungqina bengcaciso yakho kukutolikwa okungalunganga, ukungafanelekanga. Sukwenza oko.
# 3. Ulibale iqabane ngomzamo oqingqiweyo
Ngamanye amaxesha abantu bazama ukumlibala umntu ongumsebenzi oqingqiweyo. Njengokuba, andiyi kucinga ngayo, kwaye yonke into iza kuphuma. I-Alas, i-Melika yaseMelika uDanish uDaniel ubonise ukuba indlela enjalo ayisebenzi. Wayibiza ngokuba yimpembelelo yebhere yepolar (emva koko, ngendlela, kubandakanya nayo kwisiphumo se-Ironic Borameranga).
Isiseko silula - kokukhona sizama ukungacingi ngento ethile kwaye singazenzi into, eyona nto ijongiweyo ngayo (ifuthe le-Ironic bomeranga).
Phuma-musa ukuzithintela ucinga ngomntu. Ewe, waphule, ewe, iinkumbulo zibangela iintlungu, kodwa akufuneki ukuba uziqhubele phambili ezinkumbulo kuthi. Kufuneka uwaqwalasele (ngolwazi oluthe kratya, jonga inqaku elithi "Indlela Yokuhlolisisa", apho oku kuhanjiswa kuchazwa ngokweenkcukacha).
Bukela, kodwa ukungabinamda kumava- nantsi indlela ebalaseleyo yokuphatha iinkumbulo zentandokazi / oyithandayo xa usahlukanisa.
#four. Kwangoko jonga ukutshintshwa
Uninzi (ngakumbi amadoda) kubonakala ngathi kufuneka ngokukhawuleza ukufumana indawo yokuhlala-kwaye ngokukhawuleza, ngcono. Kwaye omnye umntu atshintshe, enye ibe nye, nangaphezulu, nangaphezulu. Lo ngumzamo wokunkqonkqoza umtshato ngomnye umtshato, kunye nendlela yokubonisa ububele bakho, kunye nenzame yokuphazamisa.
Awu, yonke le nto isebenza kakubi. Inyani yile yokuba uthando ngokukhawuleza aludluleli. Imisonto engabonakaliyo yeemvakalelo ezikoyikisela neqabane, hayi ngokukhawuleza. Kwaye omnye umntu akancedi ukubakhuphela ngaphandle, ngokuchasene noko, xa kuqalisa ukuba ukutshintshwa kwakungenza buhlungu, imeko iyacaphukisa - kubonakala ngathi akukho nto iya kunceda. Amava, kwaye unzima kakhulu, ukuba nzima.
Phuma kwelinye-kubahlobo kunye nabathandekayo. Nxibelelana nabo, yenza into eluncedo. Kungcono ukuqokelela wonke umntu kunye kwaye ulinde impelaveki uye kwenye idolophu ekuqwalaseni ukubona izinto zokwakha kunokuzama ukungcungcutheka umntu kwiBit ekufutshane.
#Ntlanu. Qinisekisa into yangaphambili / yangaphambili
Ngamanye amaxesha ndifuna iqabane lokuqalisa ukuba liqonde ezona mpazamo zinzulu zesigqibo sakhe sokwahlukana. Ndifuna ukwenza into efana-ukunciphisa umzimba, uthenge imoto, thatha imifanekiso kunye nodumo. Njengokuba, khangela, bubutyebi obuhamba buhlungu ngezandla zakho, buhlupheka!
Kuba iqabane labasebenzi, njengommiselo, aliqondi ngokugqibeleleyo kwesigqibo, iintlungu ukusuka kwisando linyuke. Ifumaneka kube mandundu kuphela.
Injani indlela yokuphuma? Sebenzisa imeko yokukhula okubizwa ngokuba kukuhla kwe-tumatic. Ukukhula kwe-postmamatic lutshintsho oluqinisekileyo lwenzekile emntwini emva kokungqubana kwengxaki (jonga iinkcukacha apha-teds apha-i-Teeschi, R. G. G., 2004). G., 2004).
Ndihlala ndisithi amadoda aphathe uqhawulo mtshato kuphela. Kwaye oku akusosihlalo. Ewe, amadoda amaninzi emva kokuba uqhawulo-mtshato eqonda ukuba babengalunganga kakhulu kwaye bazama ukulungisa-, ngokobuqu, ukukhula. Bafunda ukulumka, banxibelelane, bangafungi, banelise, banganeli nje umdla kubo, njalo njalo. Kwenzeka into efanayo nabafazi.
Olu lutshintsho kwaye lubizwa ngokuba kukukhula okumangalisayo.
Umsantsa kunye neqabane unokukhokelela ekukhuleni kwendlela yokuthintela umva, ukuba, ewe, yenza yonke into ngokuchanekileyo. Umzekelo, uphephe iimpazamo ezichazwe kula manqaku.
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