Ithemba yimeko ebalulekileyo yokwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo. Kungokwemvelo ukuba aphathe kungathenjwa ncam ngabantu ezingaqhelekanga ngokupheleleyo nesingxi ukuthemba abo sele wamngcatshayo. Nangona kunjalo, ulwalamano olutsha nendoda, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba umnike intembelo engaphambili, kungenjalo akukho nto ilungileyo iya kuphuma kule nto.
Ibonakala njani inkohliso yabasetyhini
Olona khetho luqhelekileyo lokungathembani lwabasetyhini ngokunxulumene namadoda lubonakalisiwe: "Onke amadoda ...- akunakwenzeka ukuba uzithembe.", "Bonke abantu banotshintsha kuphela ...", njl. Kwaye ingozi yengcinga enjalo kukuba uqhelene nendoda ebaluleke kakhulu eya kubonisa uthando nokukhathalela, umfazi uya kujonga ukubambisa kuyo, kwisenzo ngasinye siza kujonga umgibe: "Oku kuhle kakhulu kwaye ezintofontofo, uze emva koko ... " Ezinye ladies basoyika kangangokuba betrayals kwaye ayoyika ukulahlekiswa ukuba uzama kusengaphambili zonke iinketho ukuba ukuziphatha ngokunganyanisekanga kwangaphambili wenze iitshekhi amaninzi indoda zazo.Ngendlela, olunye uhlobo lwezithintelo zibonakalisa kubuncinci bendawo, ngokungathi ungayamkeli uncedo kwindoda. Nditsho nokutshata abafazi abanomdla ndizama ukwenza yonke into ngokwakho, ndingaceli uncedo kumntu omthandayo. Banyanzela ulawulo olupheleleyo kwiqabane, abamvumeli ukuba enze izigqibo ezizimeleyo, agxeka rhoqo kwaye anike imiyalelo ecacileyo nendlela yokwenza.
Amadoda aziphethe kakubi?
Ukomelela, ukwanelisa, umntu ozihloniphayo akasayi kuqhubeka ulwalamano nomfazi ukuba akamthembi. Udinga intsimi yokuxhaphaza, kwaye oku kufuna ukholo kunye nokuthandwa ngabafazi. Eqonda ukuba indlela kwimeko ethile, abayi kufumana nto - ziyingxenye kunye nenekazi, yaye, ukuba akukho ngumzali, kwakhona eqinisekisa zabo "Kulungile."
A isiganeko eliqhelekileyo kwiintsapho, xa umntu angathanda ukuba waluhlwayela esofeni, asele utywala kunye nabahlobo, yaye umfazi ibandakanyeka bonke abanye - kwaye imali ZUZA abantwana bakhule, aze akhangele efama. Ngokufanayo, amadoda aziphathe ngokungathi kukungazithembi. Akaziva amandla akhe, cinga ukuba uswele ubuthathaka - emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yeyona nto uyimtyhilela umfazi onezenzo zakhe. Kuyinyaniso ukuba, rhoqo ukungazithembi kwimikhosi yabo loo madoda kugonyiwe kubuntu obulawulayo.
Ivelaphi i-diverance
Luphi ukungathembani kwebhinqa kwisiqingatha esiqingqiweyo soluntu? Kunokubakho iingxaki ezahlukeneyo zemvelaphi yengxaki. Rhoqo, lo ungoluhlu lwabasetyhini ababengcatshwe amadoda asele ephelile, engasafuneki ngokwawo isiphelo esifanayo. Hayi kancinci kuhlala kukho iimeko apho amantombazana akhule kwiintsapho, apho babengenalo ubudlelwane bohlobo notata, ootata noonozuko. Ngapha koko, wonke umntu ufunda nentembelo ebuntwaneni - ngaphandle kokuba izakhono ezifunyenweyo ekuqaleni, ukuba uyazi eyona ngxaki nokuphuhlisa isakhono ukuthembela omdala sele kakhulu ngakumbi esintsonkothileyo.Ukuba ntombazanyana ikhula ngalo lonke ngaphandle utata waba akukho umzekelo omhle wendoda phambi kwamehlo akhe - oko konyusa ingozi yokuba, ukuba umntu omdala, wayengayi akabathembi. Ngapha koko, kwasekuqaleni inyanzelekile ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba ixhomekeke kwindoda - uyabaleka. Ukuziphatha kukaMama kuyamkelwa, nto leyo emehlweni entombazana eyomeleleyo, yazanelanga kwaye inokujamelana neengxaki kwaye ngaphandle kwendoda. Ke ngoko, ibaluleke kakhulu kwiintombi ezincinci ukuba zibonise umzekelo ofanelekileyo ukuze kwixa elizayo babengenazingxaki ebomini bakho.
Ungawahlawula njani onke amathandabuzo kwaye uthembele indoda
Le yeyona paradox ebaluleke kakhulu. Kwelinye icala, ukuba lo mfazi wenza umntu aqiniseke, kufuneka ayifumane. Kodwa kwelinye, njengokubaziqhelanisa nemiboniso, abafazi abanomdla uthutsale abantu abanobuchule bokuthetha - ukuxoxa, inkohliso, ukungcatsha. Ngenxa kokuphindaphinda rhoqo amava ebuhlungu, mandundu imeko - endaweni ukuqala ukujongana naye, amanenekazi baqala ukubonisa ndlongo ngakumbi nokungathembani lamadoda - isangqa eqhubekayo iqala.
Ukuze aphambane, kuqala kwiinto zonke, kubalulekile ukuqonda ngokwakho ukuba ihlabathi lizaliswe ezahlukeneyo zabantu - okulungileyo nokubi, enesidima ungenaso sona, kukungakhathali akanankathalo. Ngoko ke, ukuba kuphela amaqhawe ezimbi kuza kuyo endleleni yakho, jonga kwi ngokwakho kwicala, wena ucinga nokuvavanya abaviwa ngayo. Mhlawumbi okwangoku kuya kufuna uncedo lwe-psychologist, eya kuthi ivumela ukumba iingxaki zangaphakathi kwaye itshintshe indlela yokucinga.
Abasetyhini abangayazi indlela yokuthemba amadoda ngamaxhoba awo azivayo yenziwa ngezinto zangaphandle. Ke ngoko, kuya kuba luncedo kakhulu ukuqonda ixabiso labo, elingahambi naphi na inkohliso kunye nokungcatshwa kwabantu. Ukuba umntu obhinqileyo uyazihlonipha, uyathanda kwaye uyayixabisa, uyathemba, uya kuthembela ngokuqinisekileyo, abanye. Kuya kufuneka ufunde ukuba uphila njani apha kwaye ngoku, hayi ukwakhiwa kwezicwangciso zeqabane kwi-akhawunti yeqabane kwixa elizayo - ukuvavanya umntu ukuba enze intembelo nezenzo zakhe kwangaphambili.