Ngo-1961, uPhyllis oneminyaka engama-22 ubudala wayefuna umsebenzi. Ubale indawo kwiYunivesithi ye-Harvard yeYunivesithi, kodwa endaweni yokuba "ewe" okanye "hayi" ifunyenwe kwi-proser yomncedisi uWillial, umsebenzi wokungqina ukuba ootitshala bangeva lilize ekuqeqesheni.
"Amava ethu, nditsho nabasetyhini ababukhali, babonisa ukuba abafazi abatshatileyo kunzima ukwenza umsebenzi ofanelekileyo wokucwangcisa, kwaye ke baziva ukuba ixesha kunye nomgudu oye watyalwa imali. (Oku, kunjalo, inkxalabo phantse zonke iindlela zemfundo ephezulu).
Ngenxa yoko, ngenxa yento eyakho, nokusinceda ukuba senze isigqibo sokugqibela, awunakusibhalela amaphepha omnye okanye amabini, kamsitho nje ngokukhawuleza ukuba ulungele ukudibanisa indlela yobomi obunobuchule ngaphakathi Ukucwangciswa kwedolophu kunye nemisebenzi yakho phambi kweqabane lakho kunye nentsapho yexesha elizayo? "
Ubutyebi bagqibe kwelokuba bangachithi ixesha lokungqina ukuba ufanele ilungelo lokudibanisa umtshato nomsebenzi. Kwiminyaka engama-52 kuphela kamva, ngo-2013, ukuba ngumbhali odumileyo (u-Lauretha u-Agatha ") kwaye ivenkile yokutyela bagxeka, uNksz, eqambise isincoko. Kwaye sakudlulisela kuwe, kuba sicinga ukuba le libali elizimeleyo.
"Ndicela uxolo ukuba andiphendulanga ileta yakho ukusukela ngoJuni ngo-1961 ixesha elide. Njengoko waqikelela, bendixakeke kakhulu. Kutshanje ndisanduluka kwidrovu ngamaphepha, ndikhubeka kumyalezo wakho kwaye ndaqonda ukuba nangona sabona ukuba kamva sayixoxa ngencwadi.
Ileta yakho ngo-1961 yakrwada ngaphandle kwe-rut, kodwa ayizange ibethe indlela. Nangona amabhinqa exesha lam ahlala efuna impumelelo enkulu, uninzi lwazo lwenzekile ukoyisa imiqobo xa injalo. Kude kube le leta yakho, andizange ndenzekile kum ukuba umtshato wam ungakuphazamisa inyani yokuba ndiza kundithatha eHarvard okanye ndikonakalise ukukhula komsebenzi wam. Ndadideka kakhulu yimpendulo yakho endingenakuyigqiba impendulo yam. Kwaye ndixinezelekile kakhulu ukuba ndiphikisane nawe xa sidibana ngokobuqu.
Ngelo xesha ndandingazi ukuba ndiqala ukubhala isincoko osifunayo. Kodwa ngoku, emva kwemitshato emibini, kunye nabantwana abathathu kunye nomsebenzi wokubhala ophumelelayo, ndiyakwazi, njengoko ubeka "ukuphendula" ngokungathandabuzekiyo ukuba uqatshelwe kwileta.
Khange ndidibane nebhinqa elinye, elithi "elinokuvakalelwa kukuba ixesha kunye neenzame ezaye zachithakala emfundo yakhe." Andizange ndizisole nabani na malunga nekhondo elinye. Ngokubanzi, ndichithe kwisikolo esiphakamileyo kufutshane neminyaka elishumi elinambini, nangona ikhefu, kuba imisebenzi yam ", njengoko uqaphele ukuqonda, xa yena ngokwakhe wagqiba isikolo samasimelelo - kwaye yayiyiprojekthi eneminyaka eli-10 ubudala.
Inokomeleza ukholo lwakho koko umtshato nentsapho lwaluvalela ukukhula kwam ngokwam, kodwa ndicinga ukuba ndivunyelwe ukuba ndivunyelwe eHarvard, umsebenzi wam uya kulingana nomsebenzi womyeni wakhe. Nangona ekugqibeleni ndaphila ubomi obucokisekileyo nobuqhelekileyo obuhlawulelweyo, ileta yakho ibonisa ukuba yimalini i-harvard, ingakhange ikhankanya umyeni wam, malunga neentsapho zethu, nokuba ndingabakho njani na xa ndisanda nini indlela.
Njengoko waxele kwangaphambili, 'intsapho yexesha elizayo "yaba yinto yokwenene emva kokuba nditshatele uAlvin. Xa kwazalwa umntwana wam wokuqala, ndathatha ikhefu emsebenzini ukuze ndiyenze. Ifunyenwe kwaye umfazi wakho wokuqala, xa siqala ukuthetha nawe ngo-1961. Mhlawumbi awukhumbuli, kodwa wayengumzekelo owuqhele ukuchaza ukuba kutheni abafazi bekwimfundo engathandekiyo. Ingxaki, ndiyakrokrela, isikelwe umda kwisakhelo sakho sethutyana. UGoogle undixelela ukuba umfazi wakho ufumana i-diplomas ye-Master's kunye nenqanaba logqirha. Inomtsalane onomdla, kubandakanya nophando, ukucwangciswa kwenkomfa kunye nomsebenzi wentlalo. Ngaba usacinga ukuba imfundo yakhe yayiyinkcitho yexesha?
Ngo-1970, safudukela eWashington, saqhubeka ndisebenza kwidiploma yam yenkosi yam. Kodwa kuye kwafuneka ndimhlambile, kuba umsebenzi wam wesayensi wafumana umqobo ongapheliyo. Ukukhathalela abantwana, ndaziqhelanisa ne-Mumbitterque. Xa ndandinomntwana omnye, ndingambonisa kum kwaye ndithathe nam kwihambo yeshishini. Ndikwazile ukujamelana nesibini: Ndifunde nje isimo sengqondo soogqirha ukuba ndincancise, kwaye ndibhale, ndibajonge abantwana kwibala lokudlala. Ndikunye nabantwana abathathu, ndazama ukuphonononga ukuqonda kwabantwana bogqatso, kodwa bandityumze. Ndidinga i-nanny, kodwa i-nannies ibonakala iyinto entle, njengoko ndingenzi mali. Emva koko ndayinika i-attic endlwini yethu, yakhela ikhitshi kwigumbi elingaphantsi kwaye yafumana indawo yokuhlala yasimahla kubafundi beekholeji ukuze bafumane inkathalo yabantwana.
Umsebenzi wombhali wasimahla, njengoko ndafumanisa ukuba, mkhulu ekulingelweni kwabantwana. Ndingabhala naphi na - epakini, ngelixa abantwana babamba amasele kunye neebhodi, okanye ekhaya, xa babelala. Ukuba ndigxile kwizihloko ezinje ngoPhononongo oluthelekiso lwe-ice cream okanye ukuvavanywa ekhaya kwee-microwave ze-microwave, bendinokuzonwabisa kwaye ndizondla abantwana, ngaxeshanye ndiqokelela izinto.
Ngethamsanqa, xa usebenza umbhali, umgangatho ungaphantsi komsebenzi. Abakhenkethi bavavanywa ikakhulu koko bakubona kumaphepha kunayo nantoni na. Kodwa kwanaxa umsebenzi wam waqala ukufumana amandla, ungqumbo lwabantu besini akazange ayeke. Ababini kubantwana bam babhalise kwisikolo sabucala. Kungekudala ndafumana umsebenzi wokuchitha iiveki ezimbini, ndifunda kwiindawo zokutyela e-China. Ithuba elinqabileyo ngo-1980. Umyeni wam wagqiba kwelokuba ahambe nam. Sabizelwa sisikolo kunye naye kwaye sindifundele ngokungqongqo, ngokushiya abantwana bethu. Nangona ndifumene abafundi abathathu beekholeji ukuba basebenze kunye nee-BABI. Ukongeza, abafundi babekulungele ukutshintsha abazali bam kunye nabazalwana noodade. Kodwa isikolo sanyanzelisa ukuba ndirhoxise uhambo. Akukho mntu uthe igama lokuba umyeni wam aqhubeka nohambo.
Sobabini sasiya eChina. Abantwana bethu banamachaphaza. Ngenxa yoko, bafezekisa yonke into endinokuyithemba - njengabasebenzi, abemi, abazali. Baye bavuya impumelelo yam kwaye, mhlawumbi, ngoku, xa ndithatha umhlala phantsi, uyabakhumbula ngaphezu kwam. Ixesha lam lixakekile sisifo esinganyangekiyo, indima entsha yombhali kunye nombhali waseburhulumenteni, isizukulwane esitsha (nesikhanyisiweyo) nesizukulwana esitsha sabazukulwana. "
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UGiraman uyigqibile ileta yakhe eya kwi-Dölla ukutyikitya isicelo sokuxhasa i-Denar Pema Scott Brown. Into engazange ikhankanye, ngenxa yoko, le nto ngaphandle kwayo yonke imiqobo, wayikhusela i-thesis, yasebenza kwiKhomishini yokuCwangciswa kwedolophu yasePhiladelphia.
Umthombo: Isithuba seWashingtonInguqulelo: Pononodiva Elizabeth
Ifoto kwisibhengezo-I-Washingtonpost.com