Intatheli kunye noMama, ohlala eAlaska, u-Lia Campbell, xelela ngamava akhe njengomama ongatshatanga kwaye malunga nenzululwazi kwiintsapho ezincinci ezifana ne "I kunye noMama".
Ndandineminyaka engamashumi amabini anesithandathu ubudala xa ndiqala ukuthatha isigqibo sokuxhomekeke kuMama Wethu uqobo. Ndandikho, kwakuthi, umfana othile afumane imbonakalo ka-obutha abantu abangasiqondi isizathu sokuba ndikhethe indlela enjalo.
Ngenxa yobulungisa, ikamva elinye alizange liphupha lam. Kodwa xa ndaxelelwa ukuba ukuchuma kwam kutshatyalalisiwe kwaye amandla am okukhulelwa ngoku okanye akasokuze awe, ndandisazi ukuba ndingathanda ukuba ngumama ongatshatanga kunabo bonke.
Indalo iphela yayinezicwangciso zazo, kwaye imizamo yam ikhulelwe ihlulekile yeyona ndlela ingenayo. Kodwa kwiminyaka nje embalwa kamva, kwiinyanga ezimbini emva kokuzalwa kwam fiendatieth, ndanikwa ithuba lokuthatha intombazana encinci. Ndathi "Ewe" kwaye zange zizisole.
Ewe, ukuba uthe wanikela ingqalelo kwizimvo kwi-Intanethi, unokucinga ukuba intombi yam iphelile. "Iinkcukacha-manani kumanye oobole!" -Beza i-engaziwayo. "Abantwana babo bangamathambeka ukuze basebenzise iziyobisi, bagxothwe kwiiklasi eziphezulu kwaye bagqibe entolongweni!"
Le nto iqhele ukuzama ukundigqobhoza endleleni, ndikhethe. Kodwa inzulu emphefumlweni, bendisoloko ndisazi ukuba akandimele okanye intombi yam.
Ndizithathele indima kamama ongatshatanga, ndiqonda kakuhle into esiyifungileyo. Ndinekholeji emva kwamagxa am, umsebenzi olungileyo, indlela yokuphila eqingqiweyo kunye nenkqubo yenkxaso emangalisayo. Phantse bonke oomama abangatshatanga abakhethiweyo, andizange ndihlale ngezantsi kwentlupheko. Andikaze ndilwele umlutha, andizange ndikhulelwe ndikhulelwe ngokungacwangciswanga kwaye andizange ndibandezelekile kwinyaniso yokuba utata womntwana andishiyile. Le nto ibandakanya oomama abaninzi, abanyanzelwa ukuba bajongane nemfumba yeengxaki, nto leyo engasebenzi kubomi bam, kwaye ndazi ukuba kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo.
Kuyavela, bendinyanisile. Kutshanje, isifundo sapapashwa, sithelekisa abantwana ngoomama ababadinisa ngabom ngaphandle kweqabane, ngeentsana ezivela kwiintsapho ezinabazali ababini ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye uyazi ukuba ityhilwe yintoni? Ngokuqinisekileyo "akukho mahluko kubudlelwane bomzali kunye nophuhliso lomntwana."
Bantwana baphilile. Intlalo-ntle yabo kunye nophuhliso iya kuba njalo. Azikho kwaphela ukungena kwazo zonke izinto ezixubayo zoomama abangatshatanga balo naluphi na uhlobo.
Kodwa kuthekani ngabantwana abazithembileyo ukuba abantwana bempumelelo bafuna abazali bobabini? Ewe, uMatidde Brewaeys Umshicileli ogqabazekile kwesi sikhundla.
"Ingcinga yokuba umntwana akalunganga ukukhula entsatsheni ngaphandle kotata, usekwe ikakhulu utata waBazali abaqhawule umxokelelwane kwaye osindileyo kwingxabano. Nangona kunjalo, ngokungaphezulu kwento yokuba ukukhula kwabantwana kuchaphazeleke kakubi yingxaki yabantwana kunye nobudlelwane babazali, hayi ukungabikho kukatata. "
Kwiminyaka emihlanu eyadlulayo, isifundo esifanayo kubazali besini esinye banika isiphumo esifanayo. Ndandisazi ukuba inokuthiwa ngoomama ababele ngabom umntwana, kodwa kwakumnandi kakhulu ukuba iimvakalelo zam ziqinisekisiwe.
Kumnandi ukwazi ukuba andikhathazanga ntombi yam, ndingamfumani uTata.
Ngoku siyazi ukuba iintsapho "ezigcweleyo" ziyanyanzeleka, ukuze umntwana avele, esempilweni kwaye ezintanda. Kwaye, nangona isifundo sasigxile koomama abangatshatanga, ndicinga ukuba kuyayigxininisa into yokuba akukho umama ogwetyiweyo ukuba akhule umntwana oza kuphinda akwazi ukugcwalisa amanani aphezulu. Ukuba ngumama ongatshatanga akwanelanga kwisiphumo esifanayo, kukho ezinye izinto kulo mdlalo.
Isigqibo kukuba asizibalo. Sikwaziyo ukukhula abonwabisi, baphumelele, bachume, njengaluphi na usapho.
Ukuba awukholwa, jonga nje intombazana yam kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini. Kubonakala kum ukuba iya kuba ngumntu onomdla omangalisayo.
Umthombo
Guqulela: Lilith mazikina
Umzekeliso: I-Shutterstock