Sifumene kwi-Peschological Psychologist ye-Pescalkhologist ye-PelChologist yeBhanki ye-YedygmanPich Inqaku eliza kukusindisa imali eninzi, ixesha kunye ne-nerves, ukuba ukhe wacinga ngemibuzo: "Ngaba ndingumfazi kangaka ke? Ngaba lixesha lokukhulisa ibhinqa eliyinyani ngaphakathi ?! "
Umfundi weza wathi: "Ndifuna ukubuza naluphi na ulwazi (incwadi, indawo, inqaku) malunga nophuhliso lomfazi wenene."Owu, hayi umbuzo oqhelekileyo. Ukucela rhoqo ukuxelela indlela yokuba ngumfazi wokwenene okanye indoda yokwenene. Babeza kukwazi ukubuza ukuba yintoni engenakwenzeka ...
Yile nto ndiyibhalileyo ekuphenduleni: "Ndiya kukuvuyela ukucebisa-ukubaleka kuzo zonke iincwadi, iisayithi kunye namanqaku axelela ukuba uqhelane njani nomfazi wokwenene."
Kwaye kukho izizathu ezinzulu zempendulo enjalo.
IGegemon, Gegemon
Ingcali yezentlalo yase-Australia iphinde iphinde iguqulwe ngandlela ithile ingumxholo onomdla - i-hegemonic masculity (i-eng. Heegemonic). Oku kunje ngokubanzi kwaye kwamkelwe sisininzi sendoda yokwenene (i-psychologists, ngegama elithi "indima enesini" lihlala lisetyenziswa, kodwa ezi zixhomekeke kwaye iinkcukacha).
Ibinzana elithi "i-heegemonic" andizange ndidibane noncwadi lwentetho yaseRussia, kodwa kwi-English-elithetha i-English gama lisaphuma, nangona kunqabile.
Ukuthetha ngendlela elula, ye-hegemonic scurinity yi "ndoda yokwenene." Ngokufanelekileyo - ohambelana nalo mfanekiso, ongena kwi-hegemon susquence, loo "ndoda yokwenene."
Kwaye okwenzeka 'ngokubanzi kwaye amkelwe sisininzi' kwinto ofanele ukuba yiyo umfazi osekunene, abo, kunjalo, 'abafazi bokwenene'.
Kwaye kuyavela ukuba "ukukhulisa umfazi wokwenene" kulula kakhulu. Kufuneka senze amanyathelo amabini kuphela:
- Qonda indlela "ye-hegemonism" ijongeka ngayo (okanye ubudoda - kwabo bafuna ukuba yindoda yokwenene).
- Ilungile ngokupheleleyo kule ntetho.
Abafazi, into ikwi-hat, wonke umntu uyaneliswa, wonke umntu wonwabile, "bafazi bonwabile, besithi,"
Kwaye yonke into iya kuba ilungile, kodwa ikhona ingxaki ...
Awunakho ukutyhala kwinqwelo enye ...
Eyona nto iphambili kwezi hlogemones kukuba ziphikisane ngokusisiseko. Ndigxininise- ngokusesikweni.
Umzekelo, kwi-hemonic sculinity, kubalulekile ukuba sempilweni, njengenkomo, kodwa kuphela buthathaka koogqirha. Okanye apha - amadoda afanele abe nabahlobo bokwenyani, kodwa indoda ayifanele ibe rhabaxa. Kucacile ukuba ezi ziimfuno ezizodwa ezizodwa.
Isiqingatha sobuntu sabazali sinamava afanayo- umzekelo, kukho iSondwing Syndrome (Sondwing Syndrome). Umfazi ubonakala ehleli ekhaya kwaye engasebenzi, okuthetha ukuphumla, kodwa enyanisweni - isebenza kakhulu kwaye ayiqwalaseli kwaye ibe ngumbulelo kuyo!
Ndiyakucela ukuba uhlawule inkathazo esondeleyo- i-heegemonic masculity / i-famitoinest yetemplate ephikisanayo ngaphakathi.
Kutheni kunjalo? Kuba zonke iindima zesini (ndisebenzisa ikota yengqondo, nangona esondele kum), oko kukuthi, imilinganiselo yentlalo, "enemiyalelo kunye nenjongo ekufuneka uyive kwaye wenze."
Njengayo nayiphi na imigqaliselo kunye nezithintelo, ezi zinto zikwabanzi kwaye ziqinile - ngelixa ubomi benene buthile kwaye bekufutshane kakhulu.
Oku kuthetha ukuba umntu akanakuhambelana nendima yesini. Ngaba indoda iyangqinelana ngokupheleleyo ne-hemonical masculines. Ngaba ibhinqa linokungqinelana ngokupheleleyo kumntu we-hemonical feminal.
Ngamafutshane, indoda ayinakuba yindoda "yokwenene." Konke okufanayo, kukho into eza kuyenza ayiyi kuba yinyani. Kwakhona - kunye nebhinqa.
Oku kubizwa ngokuba yingxabano yesini (i-gesti yesini kwimbambano) -Ukusebenza kwengqondo esempilweni kurhulumente ovela kwiimeko apho iindima zesini zinefuthe elibi emntwini nakwindawo ahlala kuyo.
Ngenxa yale ngxaki, abantu baqala ukukhangela "naluphi na ulwazi (incwadi, inqaku) malunga nophuhliso lomfazi wenene." Ukuthintela ngandlela thile kulungisa imbambano kwaye ususe imvakalelo yokungonwabi ngaphakathi.
Ewe kunjalo, ngu-Utopia. Ekuphela kwendlela yokususa le ngxabano ayizukulandela i-hegemon sculs kunye nezinye iindima zesini.
Sele uyinyani / yeyokwenyani
Sele uyindoda kwaye umfazi ngokwakho. Umzekelo, kwiisemina zakho ezingamadoda (oko kukuthi, imicimbi yeqela lamadoda), andixeleli ukuba ingaba indoda yokwenene ifanele ibe njalo. Ndithi - "Ngamnye wakho uyindoda kwaye le ixabisekile; Sonke (kwaye kufuneka senziwe!) Ukuphuhlisa izakhono kunye nomgangatho, kodwa senza ukuphucula umgangatho wobomi, kwaye singangeni naziphi na iitemplate. "
Ukuba bendineesemina zandibhinqileyo, bendiyathetha into enye.
Ndiza kuyithetha kwaye nantsi amanenekazi athandekayo, sele ungumfazi. Iphezulu, ephantsi, egcwele, itshixiwe, i-skirt, i-jean kunye ne-roneybus, kwi-proron kunye nengubo yangokuhlwa, ungowemisi Kwaye awudingi 'kuphuhlise umfazi okuqinisekileyo. " Sele uyinyani.
Unga (kwaye uluncedo!) Phuhlisa izakhono kunye neempawu, kodwa akufuneki ufumane imfuneko yokukhulisa umfazi wokwenene. Sele uyinyani.
Kwaye ndinayo yonke into, enkosi ngengqwalaselo yakho.