Ngapha koko, eli nqaku le-Psychologist ye-Psychologist yentsapho i-Zygmantovich inikelwe kunqatyelo olusithintela ekuphileni. Ewe, kwangaxeshanye, amadoda awaziqinisekisa ukuba abafazi abangafuni ukhulelwa ngokukhawuleza kwaye babeleke, kungenxa yezigidi nje.
Uninzi kakhulu, abantu abanangxaki. Ubuncinci yingqondo.Kodwa abantu bayaqhayisa ekudalani iingxaki ezinjalo ukuba bakukreqa.
Nanku umzekelo olula (kuyakwenziwayo - inamabali aliqela ngokutshintshwa ngokupheleleyo kuwo onke amalungu, kubandakanya umgangatho wabantu;
Kukho indoda nebhinqa. Batshatile. Ibhinqa lisebenza ebantwaneni, yitsho ngobukrelekrele, nelikhathalelo. Kwaye le ndoda ithanda abantwana kwaye ifuna (kodwa hayi ngoku, kodwa ngokubanzi - ngenye imini).
Kwaye ingxaki yale ndoda ilula kakhulu - umfazi wayo, ngokombono wakhe, umfazi ombi (kwaye uthetha ngokungqongqo, hayi umfazi opheleleyo).
"Kutheni ubuza? Kuba umfazi ufanele ukuba abathande abantwana (emva kwayo yonke loo nto, bonke abantu basetyhini bayathanda abantwana), kungenjalo ayingomfazi, kwaye akaqondi ukuba yintoni.
Kwaye nasi isibini esitshatileyo ubude kwaye sonwabile (ngakumbi ukusukela ngoku - hlawula le ngqwalaselo ikhethekileyo-ukuzalwa komntwana kukwisivumelwano ekude) sikwimeko yoqhawulo-mtshato kuphela.
Yenzeka njani yonke into?
Ndiphindaphinda kwakhona i-thesis ukusuka ekuqaleni kwamanqaku-abantu bahlala besenza iingxaki zengqondo ngokuzimeleyo.
Ngokukodwa, kweli bali, indoda ikwakhela izigqibo zayo ngeendlela ezingaqhelekanga ngobomi (okanye, ukuba kulwimi oluqhelekileyo). Ngenxa yezi zigqibo kunye neengxaki zivele.
Kutheni le nto indoda yagqiba le meko? Ngoba, njengabani na, bathobela ukungangqinelani ngeendlela zokucinga, okunakalisa ubomi bomntu. Ezi zikhombisi zihlala zibizwa ngokuba ziimpazamo zokucinga, kodwa ndithanda ukukhetha "utyekelo" - isandi softer.
Olu tyekelo lomntu, kubonakala ukuba luzalelwe, kwaye ukuba alubandakanyeka entlokweni yakhe, kulula kakhulu ukuba unikezele kwezi zinto zingahambelaniyo kwaye zihlala kwiingxaki ezininzi. Njengokuba, umzekelo, lo mzekelo wawisenzeka kumzekelo.
Ngokukodwa, indoda ibonisa imikhwa yokuthintela imiqobo, ukuya kwi-dicotomity (iMnyama neCleyayo emnyama), kubunini, ekugqibeleni, ukuhlutha.
Itemplate kwi template
Utyekelo lokuthathwa ngokubanzi kukuqwalaselwa kwemeko ngaphandle kokuthatha ingqalelo imeko kunye neenkcukacha. Umntu wenza, owona mncinci, jikelele.a) Ukholelwa ukuba bonke abantu basetyhini bathande abantwana, nangona engachithi naluphi na uphando (ewe akunakwenzeka ukuba ukwenze - akunakwenzeka ngokwasemzimbeni). Oko kukuthi, isiphelo asikho ngqiqweni kwaye sinobulungisa kuphela abafazi, hayi kubo bonke.
b) Ushwankathela umxholo othi "uthando," azenzi ikhonkrithi, kodwa aphuzile. Ngenxa yoko, ayicacanga ngokupheleleyo ukuba kuthetha ntoni kanye kanye kwaye yintoni kanye indlela yokuziphatha komfazi wakhe okanye engahambelani nolindelo lwayo.
Itemplate yedichomizetion
Utyekelo lwe-Diicomizetion luqwalaselo lwayo yonke into kwiitoni ezimnyama nezimhlophe ngaphandle kwesithunzi esiphakathi. Indoda ijonga umfazi wayo kuphela kwiinguqulelo ezimbini-okanye ungumama olungileyo (uthanda abantwana), okanye ombi (akabathandi abantwana).
Akayivumeli ingcinga yokuba umfazi angabekiwe ngumama olungileyo, kanye - i-mediocre, eyanelisayo, ngamanye amaxesha imangalisayo, ngamanye amaxesha imangalisayo, ngamanye amaxesha.
Ubomi bomntu abufane kakhulu kukuvumela ukuba uchithe iCandelo elicacileyo. Kwaye nangaphezulu ke akunakwenzeka ukwenza apho yonke into ihlala itshintsha. Ukuba ngumzali (kunye nokuba ngumzali ngakumbi) umntu ngamnye aqulathe iimpawu ezininzi. Kwaye umama omangalisayo ngomzuzu onokuba ngumama owoyikekayo, kwaye umama ombi kangangemizuzu anokuba ngumama omuhle.
Olu qikelelo lunokwenzeka kuphela kwinqanaba elithile, kunye nolunye jikelele, ukuze uqikelele, uqikelelo alunakwenzeka (kwaye ufunda ukuba kunokwenzeka,.
Ecaleni kobunini
Utyekelo lobunini-ubukho bengcinga yokuba kukho amayeza okungqinelana ekufuneka alandele inyani yobuxoki; Ukuba ulindelo aluphulukanga, luthathwa njengentlekele. Kule meko, indoda icinga ukuba abafazi bafanele babathande abantwana, kuba abafazi ngabafazi. Kwaye ekubeni umfazi wakhe akabathandi abantwana, akangomfazi konke konke.
Ngapha koko, kunjalo, hayi, hayi. Abafazi banokuthanda abantwana, abanakuthanda - akuchaphazeli ubufazi babo. Akukho ndlela yendalo yothando olungenamiqathango kubantwana. Kukho iindlela, ukuze ndithethe, "i-auxiling" yothando (i-oxytocin efanayo, umzekelo), kodwa yindlela "ye-alex", hayi kwakhona.
Kananjalo, abafazi abanamntu ongenamama, kwaye kukho indlela yokuziphatha yabazali nje, eyinxalenye ye-biology (ewe, oko kukuthi, eli lixesha elide kwi-biology).
Ngokubanzi, kuyavela ukuba umbono wokuthandabuza, njengoko kusenzeka rhoqo, ayichanekanga ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye ekubeni ayichanekanga, akufuneki ukuba icaphuke ngenxa yayo.
Utyekelo lwentlekele
Utyekelo lokucaphuka kukuzithemba ukuba iziganeko ziya kuphuhlisa kwimeko embi kakhulu, ngaphandle kokuthatha ingqalelo ekuthathweni kwezinye iindlela zokukhetha.Kule meko, indoda ibona inguqulelo yenye kuphela yophuhliso lweminyhadala - abayi kuze babe nabantwana abaqhelekileyo ngalo mfazi kwaye kuya kwenza ubomi babo bubi.
Inokwenzeka njani le minyhadala yeziganeko? Ukungatshoni kakhulu.
Njengokuziqhelanisa nemiboniso, amaqabane amaninzi ahambelana nabantwana kunye nokudideka ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Nangona kunjalo, ekuhambeni kwexesha, isikhundla sabo sidityaniswa kunye, kwaye bafumana umbono oqhelekileyo. Ayisiyonto ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ayiphumi kwidolo- wonke umntu ngokunyaniseka uyavumelana naloo mbono jikelele (kuba ngokubanzi).
Mhlawumbi enye inketho-kuyavela ukuba ngaphandle kwabantwana kulungile kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuba azale.
Mhlawumbi ukhetho lwesithathu-emva kwexesha elithile, umfazi ngokwakhe ugqiba kwelokuba azale.
Ngokubanzi, ukhetho lwentlekele "Asiyi kuba nabantwana abaqhelekileyo kwaye kubi" ayinakufikeleleka okanye kakhulu. Kwaye le ndoda icaphukile kwaye ikulungele ukuqhawula umtshato.
Isishwankathela phezulu
Olutyekelo olunokuthi lucinge, njengoko ndatshoyo, ndingonakali abantu ubomi. Oku kunjalo, njengeziqhelo, iindaba ezimbi.
Kukho iindaba ezimnandi-zonke ezi zinto zingangqinelaniyo zoyisa. Ukuba uthatha umphezulu ngaphezulu kwabo, ihlala ibhetele.
Ngoku, mhlawumbi, kufuneka uphendule umbuzo ovela kumanqaku esibi. Ngokuthetha ngokungqongqo, bendiye ndayiphendula kwisicatshulwa. Apha yenza nje ukuba umkhanyisi.
Hayi, hayi ukubalala, ukuba umntu obhinqileyo akafuni abantwana. Okokuqala, izibini zinokuphila ngaphandle kwabantwana. Okwesibini, ukwamkelwa ngokutsha kunye nokwamkelwa komntwana abengowo. Okwesithathu, akukho sizathu sokukholelwa ukuba ngokuthe ngqo lo mfazi uya kuqwalasela ubomi obungunaphakade.
Ngaba kufanelekile ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato ukuba omnye wamaqabane akafuni abantwana? Ayindim isigqibo sokuqonda indlela oyiqonda ngayo. Ngokoluvo lwam, kungcono ukubanika ixesha kwaye ungatyhaleli - kunokwenzeka ukuba izikhundla zisondele. Oko kukuthi, elinye iqabane alisayi kuphinda lifune kakhulu, kodwa okwesibini alahlwa. Ujonga, umntu kunye nefowuni.