Ukuphuma kwe-Ring: Hayi indlela ebengabi ngayo ukuba ngumama ofanelekileyo

UJulia Xianto - Umama omncinci noDowla, onesicatshulwa sakhe malunga nokudinwa kwe-Tactie (echukunyiswe ngokupheleleyo) sipapashiwe ixesha lokugqibela, kwaye wadlula kumawakawaka okwabelana. Kwaye eli nqaku lithetha ngendlela amantombazana aza eziqhuba ngayo kwi-engile, ezama ukuba ngoomama abagqibeleleyo. Kwaye kutheni kuyingozi kakhulu ukuzama ukubakho nje. Akukho nto ilungileyo. Ulibale eli gama.

Ngexesha lokukhulelwa, mna, ewe, yayikholelwa ukuba yonke into ibiya kuba yeyam njengabugcisa ngokuzalwa komntwana kunye nomzali. Ukuzalwa kuya kuba kukukhanya okuqaqambileyo, ngokukhawuleza, 'ikhulu elinayo. Ngokukhawuleza uxhoma umntwana esifubeni kwaye uya kulala iminyaka emibini xa ebuya. Ewe, kwi-squeak nganye-nakwizifuba, kwaye akukho zibhayili. Kwaye siya kuhamba kwisiqingatha sesiqingatha semini, kwaye siqondakala kwi-scarf! .. Xa yayilixesha lokuzala, olu phawu sele lunamandla kangangokuba kwakungekho ntweni Ukwandiswa ... kwaye xa kwakusakuba bekho ngaphambili iiyure ixesha elide kunye nocingo. Zombini zikhwaza kunye nentlungu. Ukuzalwa kwaba nzima, kungekho lilize ngesiNgesi, ukuzala umntwana kubizwa ngokuba "nzima" - umsebenzi. Kwaye xa usana lwam lwazalwa ukuba, wayenovuyo olukhulu "oxhonywe" esifubeni sakhe. Ndim ke mna, okanye endaweni yoko, esi sifuba sam sasingakulungelanga inyani, kwaye ngokuhlwa kosuku lokuqala ndancwina kwintlungu yokuqhekeza. Kwandula ke kulandele inyanga yonke yokuseka ukuncancisa kunye nokuninzi, iinyembezi ezininzi kunye namazinyo angcwele ngexesha lokutya.

Iiveki ezintlanu zonke zonke zonke zonke zonke zonke zonke zonke zidlula, kwaye ukondla zaba luvuyo kunye nokusondelelana okukhethekileyo, kodwa kwakungekho lula kuthi. Khange ndiyeke ngenxa yokuba ndinolwazi kwaye ngaphandle kwemeko kum kunye nokuxhasa indalo.

Kwaye zingaphi ezinye iimazi ezingakhange zibe nomnye? ..

Kwaye ngomhla wokuqala wobomi bonyana wam, ngentsimbi yesithathu ekuseni ayizange ihlale i-digigue kunye nentlungu kwaye ikhuphe kwikona ende yomntu onikwe i-nipple. Ubungakanani "nge-12 m +", into enkulu yerabha, ehamba ngayo emlonyeni wam ayizange iyeke ukuba usana olude luye lwakhwaza. Kodwa eyona nto wayezincanca ngayo kwaye ekugqibeleni walala. Kwaye thina, sikhanya kwaye sincwina kancinci ukuba sibe tyala.

Emva koko sasifundisa kwiimeko zokupha ukuncama umnwe wakho ukuze ungaphangeli, iingxaki zethu zokuncancisa kwababalulekile. Kodwa .. Ubanjwa uphuculwe, ubunzima bokutya balibaleka. Iingxaki zokulala zikhule njengebhola yekhephu.

Kwiinyanga ezine, ndaphinda ndazama ukunika i-nipple (esele inobungakanani, kunjalo) ukulala, kwaye unyana wam ngequbuliso waqalisa ukulala, ngokukhawuleza nangokulula. Ulale ixesha elide. Siye sagxininisa sagqiba kwelokuba i-nerves zam kunye neenyembezi zibiza kakhulu kuthi, kwaye mabancame ngamaphupha, kodwa siya kuphila ngaphandle kwezi skenda ezingapheliyo.

Besiqubisana nothuli !!! Ngubani onika ingono-isebenze nje! Ewe, asikaze! ... Ngqo kude kube ngobusuku bokuqala. Into esiyithandayo. Ndathi-besilele kakhulu xa sikhulelwe. Ewe, kwaye, kunjalo, iphupha elidibeneyo ngulo mzimba wegolide wobuzali bendalo. Hayi, ndisacinga ukuba upholile kakhulu ukulala kunye. Kodwa asisebenzi. Kwiinyanga ezimbini zokuqala andikwazanga ukondla, ndilele ecaleni kwam. Ukubanjwa akuphumelelanga kwiLizwi konke konke, ndandibuhlungu kakhulu, unyana wam wayekhathazekile kwaye wakhuphela. Udliwe ukuhlala, emqamelo, emva koko watshintshela.

Khange ndikwazi ukulala ngaphezulu kweyure enomntwana phantsi kwecala - yonke into etyumkileyo, ndavuka ndivuke nonyana wam, ngokuzenzekelayo.

Ukongeza, bendine-autpurine automine tyrotid (Esi sisiphazamiso se-thyroid), kwaye enye yeempawu zakhe ingenamsebenzi, iingxaki zokulala kwaye zinobuthathaka kakhulu. Ewe, uyaqonda, ewe? ....

Inyanga yokuqala yoNyana ilala kakhulu phakathi kwethu okanye ebhedini yam yebhotile. Kodwa safudukela kumgama owona mde ukuze singamniki uThixo ukungakhathazeki kwaye ungavuki. Emva koko, xa wayeka ukulala emva kwemini ngokulandelelana kwaye bendingenamandla okutyeshela (kwaye ndandibe ne-boobs ngelo xesha, waqala ukulala phezu kwam ngaphezulu, besiza kwi isisu.

Ndifundile, ndizilale, tupil kwi-Disfow, kwaye walala - yonke into ihamba kakuhle. Kwaye ebusuku, waqala walala ngesiquphe kwi-crib yakhe enecala elixhonywe ecaleni kwebhedi. Kwiisentimitha ezingamashumi amahlanu kum, kodwa ngokwahlukeneyo. Kwaye ndaqala ndalala ebusuku, ubuncinci ngandlela. Kwiinyanga ezine, wayelele kwi-crib nasemva kwemini. Kwaye walala ngaphezulu koko, kwaye ixesha elide, ebumnyameni kunye nengxolo emhlophe. Kwaye bendinesandla sasimahla, sobuqu, ixesha.

Ke senze ukulala ngokudibeneyo, i-ALOS kunye ne-cheers. Ewe, malunga ne-slings. Ndonwabile banxiba ngovuyo iikhilogram ezintathu ezinesiqingatha okanye kwiikhilogramu ezine zolonwabo kwinyanga yokuqala kwisikhafu. Kanye ngeveki. Emva koko unyana ngephanyazo waqalisa ukuvavanya iikhilos ezintandathu, kwaye ndifumene nje i-thyrois yam ngobubuthathaka bakhe, ndishukumisa izandla, i-pullar ecekeceke kunye nesisu esibuhlungu.

Kwaye, umntwana kakhulu akazange afune ukuba akhale, ngokukhawuleza aqalise ukulila kwaye aphule, kwaye ndibiwe kwaye ndinovalo. Ngamanye amaxesha inxeba lokutsala ityala ukuze likhawuleze lakhawuleza lazola esitratweni, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bahlala ekhaya. Utyisa ngesiquphe waba ngumpu onamakhonkco. Ngokukhawuleza, kulula, ngokulula. Kodwa ke ...

Kwaye isikhafu, endikhethayo endisekukrelekrele kwaye sithenga ekukhulelweni ... ukuxoka, mhle. Kutshanje, nangona kunjalo, ndiye ndaphinda ndaphinda ndaphinda ndafumanisa ukuba inundu - isifo sibuyele umva, umntwana wakhula waza waba nomonde. Kodwa amagumbi asemva asesikhethisileyo kwi-95% yamatyala. Kwaye utata ubanxiba ngolonwabo.

Awucingi, andikhalazi. Okanye into endicinga ukuba umama wam wasilela. Akunjalo konke konke, ndiyazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ndingumama omkhulu kunyana wam. Umhle, uzolile kwaye ungakhululekanga ngokupheleleyo.

Kwaye ngokuchasene noko - ndiyavuya ukuba yonke into yenzeke kum. Ukuze isifo sabantwana, esinomxholo othi "Ukugqibelela" ngonaphakade kwahlala ngaphambili.

Sonke senza ukhetho lwethu, eyona nto inokwenzeka kuyo yonke imeko.

Elinye ibhinqa liza kukhetha ukulinda ukuzala umntwana, kwaye enye - "inikelwe" koogqirha kwiiveki ezingama-42, kuba ingozi yakhe ingenakuphikiswa. Zombini zinokuthanda kakhulu kwaye akunjalo. Okwesithathu uya kwenza iKesarean ecwangcisiweyo kwiiveki ezingama-38, kuba unesifo seswekile kunye nembonakalo ye-pelvic. Elesine ngokufanayo liya kuba lilindile isiqalo sendalo size sithandaze.

Isihlanu siya kuvuma ukuqhelaniswa nomhla wokuzalwa okuqikelelwayo wokuzalwa, "ukuze singanyamezeli," kunye nesithandathu - Kungenxa yokuba "i-ultrasound ibonise isiqalekiso." Bathobela kwakungekho mntu wokubonelela ngolwazi olupheleleyo, bonisa iziphumo zophando, hug kunye noncedo lokuthatha isigqibo. Babengenalo ukhetho olungcono kunokuvumelana nesicelo sikagqirha. Hayi nje.

Umntu ugqiba kwelokuba anikezele ekhaya aze abodwa, kwaye umntu uziva ekhuselekile kwisibhedlele sokwamama, ejikelezwe yiqela leengcali. Imingcipheko yokuqala yokuba 'kukhetho lwendalo ", yesibini - ixhoba lokunyanzelwa kobunyangwa. Zombini, nangona kunjalo, kukho amathuba ahle kwaye kwaye ngokwemvelo azale.

Omnye umama uza kuthenga isrollet ethe cwaka, enye ayisiyonto incinci. Okwesithathu uya kuthenga i-kepyku ngokubanzi - Ufunda ukuba unxibe umntwana ukuba aluncedo kakhulu kuphuhliso lwakhe! Ngokumalunga ne-ergonomic enxibe i-ergonomic enxiba kwakungekho lizwi kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo aziyazi into eyenzeka ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Ucinga ntoni ukuba umntu othile uphethe umntwana ngokungqalileyo, ukuba waziswa malunga nokwenzakala komntwana? .. Umntwana wakhe oya kuza kwisibhedlele i-ManamaMamaneyo kwaye akasasazeki kangangeminyaka emibini, ngokuhambelana ngokugqibeleleyo kwaye ngaphandle kwencanca. Isifuba. Umama omnye akanakuze amnike i-bocifier, kodwa abayi kuphumelela ekuncanciseni. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, yenzeka.

Elinye ibhinqa liza kuluvo lommiselo wokuqala kwelesine, ikhuthaze indoda, kwaye omnye uhlala kwilizwe apho ungazisebenzisi khona kwiinyanga ezine kuphela emva kokuzala. Kwaye ukuba ngumama ongatshatanga? Usana lwakhe luya kuhamba ngokukhuselekileyo, kuba kufuneka isebenze, kwaye ootata basemncinci kwaye bona basemncinci kwaye bona akukho meko inzima kweli lizwe, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi. Intsapho yomfazi omnye iya kuba nokuqonda kwaye ixhase, ilungele ulwazi olutsha kwaye ivulelekile kwiincoko. Umama wakhe uya kuza, phuma, upheke kwaye uthathe intombi njengoko ikho. Umama kunye nonyoko uya kunciphisa ubuchopho bayo yonke into engeyiyo i-budge amanzi, ayiniki pipi nenyama, ayilululekanga kwaye ayithathi kwisitulo esinamavili. Kwaye ukuba umntu obhinqileyo kufuneka asebenze ngokungxamisekileyo okanye, ayeke, aye esibhedlele, kwaye kuphela kwepcake yepokothweni yakhe yomntwana wakho kumntwana wakho? .. Umntu ngamnye kuthi unokuba nezizathu zethu umntu unokubonakala ngathi akalunganga.

Izifo zakho, ngokwasemzimbeni nangokomoya. Indawo ekungqongileyo, ingqongqo kwaye ingaqondakali. Ukunqongophala kolwazi. Imeko yezopolitiko kweli lizwe. Ukunqongophala koncedo. Abanye abantwana abafuna ingqalelo kunye nokukhathalela. Ukufa kwabantu obathandayo. Iingxaki zengqondo.

Ukuvavanya kunye nokugxeka elinye ibhinqa elivela kwicala- uqinisekile ukuba uyayazi yonke imeko? ..

Nguye lo mama, enza okona kulungileyo nomntwana wakhe, onokwazi oku ngalo. Akehle oyena mama ombi kakhulu kuba wakhetha enye into, kwaye ingeyiyo into eza kunyulwa ngumama "ofanelekileyo".

Kwiminyaka emibini kamva, kwiminyaka elishumi, nomnye usana, kunye nomyeni wakhe, unokukhetha into eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa ngelo xesha wenza eyona nto ibalulekileyo. Endanda.

Wena, nawe, ewe, ewe! Wena, Mama walowo ngumntwana! Wenza kakuhle! Ungumama olungileyo ngenxa yokuba ungambethi, awuyiniki buhenyu, musa ukuluvala indlala, kwaye unxibe imozulu yakho. Uyamthanda kakhulu, mkhathalele kwaye wenze ubuninzi onako, ukuze impilo-ntle yakhe, impilo kunye nolonwabo, kunjalo? Yonke into! Kwanele. Ungumama olungileyo! Yiza kwizinto zokubala. Awusoze ube ngumama ofanelekileyo, kodwa ngelishwa kulula ukuba awuyeki ukulungisa intsingiselo. Unjengawe. Kwaye umntwana wakho ukhetha, weza kuwe, weza kuwe. Uyayazi into ngaphakathi kwaye uyakuthanda ngokuchanekileyo. Nokuba yena kunye naye.

Ukuba nguwe lolona fundi lubalulekileyo onokumfundisa umntwana. Sukunxiba iimaski, musa ukuzama. "

Ewe kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uhlale kwisofa, ukuthoba icuba kwaye uphendule onke amabango: "Ewe, ewe, ndilapha!". Hayi. Phuhlisa, funda, ngokuhlala uzama ukuziphucula wena kunye nelizwe elijikeleze-nangokuba lo ngumntwana uya kufunda kuwe. Kodwa akukho mfuneko yokuba uzithelekise nabanye. Thelekisa nawe ngaphambili. Ngaba uyazi namhlanje malunga namagama amathathu kwisiNgesi ngaphezu koMvulo wokugqibela? Iklasi! Itye kwipipi enye? Super! Ngaba awungekhe ungene kwingxubusho yomnye umntu osebenza naye? Iqhawe! Kwaye ukuba - wakwazi ukuzala emva kweCesarean? Sisondla ibele lomntwana wesibini, nangona wayengowokuqala "kwakungekho lubisi"? Ndifundile ukuba ndingahambi kwaye andizukutyhutyha abantwana? Wow! .. Kwaye kanye. Kwaye abantwana, ezi ncwadi zincinci ikopi, ziya kufunda kuthi. Kubandakanya ulonwabo kunye nokuthatha umntwana ongamzalanga abe ngowakho. Kwaye ukusukela intsingiselo yomntu othile kwaye sonwabe.