Kutshanje, sipapashe ukuqiqa kwethu i-selamunin Ella Deerzayi malunga nokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ikhule umntwana hayi i-neurotic. Inako! Kodwa kwenzeka njani ukuba - itsho i-psychotherapist adrian iz. Kuhlobo 'lwamabhunga anengozi ".
Masithi unomntwana, kwaye ufuna ububi kuphela. Ewe, kwenzeka. Uyakukhathaza. Kwaye ufuna uqeqesho lokuyonakalisa ubomi-kube kanye.Inzululwazi iyeza kuNcedo- amakhulu abaphandi bengqondo basebenza ukuze basinike ukhetho lokusebenza. Ukuqulunqwa kwesicwangciso, ndasebenzisa ukufundwa kwabafundi beLaura Weiss naseSchwartz Conrad (2005), kubantwana bakaRobert Meplan (2009), iGosanins yeKochansk kunye naye Oogxa bakhe (2000), kunye nokuphononongwa kwe-theoreti malunga nezifundo zanamhlanje ezingaphezulu kwama-50 zezitayile zokugqibela kunye noogxa bakhe (2000).
Kwaye kuba oomama abaqhelekileyo abafuna ngokupheleleyo abafuna abantwana babo, impilo kunye nempumelelo, ekugqibeleni siza kuxela ukuba zeziphi iintlobo zolawulo ezikhokelela kwiziphumo ezilungileyo. Ke ukuthetha, ukusebenzisa kabini - izinambuzane zokwenyani Funda ngendlela engakhange yenziwe, emva koko, ukuba akwanele, le bladys (okanye isisu) iya konwaba kwaye iyakonwaba.
Ke, zimbini iintlobo zolawulo, ezinesiqingatha esikhulu, siya konakalisa ubomi bomntwana wakho - i-Samurai isidumisi kunye negunya le-ahorauses.
Ulwakhiwo lweSitayile seNinja
Indlela yokuqala ilula kakhulu: Uyabona ukuba awunamntwana. Yiya naye, kakuhle ... malunga ne-squirrel epakini - shiya ukutya kunye nempahla kwindawo ebalulekileyo. Sukuthetha naye, musa ukuya ezintlanganisweni zomzali, musa ukuzisola xa wabetha, musani ukuhlangana xa ehamba nawo onke amaqela ngaphandle kweminyaka enye kwaye nangaliphi na ixesha-kunye neengubo kwiindawo ezibalulekileyo. Intlekele ethile. Ukuba ufumana kuwe-phendula ngokungakhathali kunye ne-lenZA. Kwaye, kunjalo, hayi ngokukhawuleza. Kungekudala uza kudikitya, kwaye uya kuba sela. Kungcono ngalo lonke unxibelelwano ngokubanzi ukuze wenze ngathi awukhumbuli ukuba ngubani, kwaye ulapha njani apha.
Le yindlela engqinisiweyo, ephambili. Abantwana, ngemfundo enjalo, abathembi umntu, bonisa iziphumo ezisezantsi zomsebenzi, zidla ngokuthatha iziyobisi kwaye zisele kakhulu, iinkampani ezimbi, ubudlelwane obuxhomekeke kubo. Kwaye izaphuli-mthetho ziba-ngokunokwenzeka kakhulu. Ucinga ukuba, ke unganakho ukhule ukukhulisa iqela lemigulukudu! Nokuba babenethamsanqa, kwaye bakwazi ukuphuma baphila iminyaka engamashumi amabini anesihlanu-akukho nto imbi. Zonke ezifanayo, ziya kuba ne-neurosis, uxinzelelo, ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye notyekelo lokuphazamiseka. Ewe, imvakalelo yokuba ayidingi mntu. Ngokubanzi, impumelelo.
Ulwakhiwo lwe-helikopta
Indlela yesibini ilawulwa ngabaganariyeli. Okokuqala, ngokwengqondo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthetha kwangaxeshanye umntwana onesisohlwayo esincinci, akukho nto inako. Ukugxininisa loo nto ngaphandle kwakho, akasayi kufunda izifuba, akazukuzihlamba izitya, akazukuza kwiZiko, akazukutshata (umntwana akazukutshata, kwaye ukuba ungumngcipheko. Njengomnye womthengi wam wathi: "Umama unguBatman, kwaye uya kundifumana kuyo yonke indawo."
Abazali abanjalo babizwa ngokuba ngabazali bakaHelikoptas - kuba, nokuba ungayifihlaka kangakanani na, ibala lezinto ezikhoyo liya kubakho, kunye nazo zonke izilonda zakho. Umzali onjalo kufuneka abekhona kuyo yonke indawo apho umntwana ukho khona. Eyona ndlela ifanelekileyo ayiyivumeli kumaziko entlalontle, kodwa ukuba kukho imfuno enjalo- ungahamba njengomfundisi-ntsapho kwi-kindergarten kunye notitshala wakhe esikolweni. Kulungile, okanye ubuncinci icocekile. Kodwa esi sisicoci sengqondo. Ezaziyo yonke into ngaye wonke umntu, nokuba kunjalo, iya kuzisa amanzi acocekileyo. Kwangaxeshanye, kubalulekile, ukungabuzi ukuba umntwana uziva njani okanye izinto azifunayo, - ungumama, kungcono uzive. Incoko yababini kufuneka yakhiwe ngomyalelo kunye nokulawula indlela afuna ukuyenza xa, phi nento emele ixoke, ixhome i-hler Akukho kwimeko awunomdlanga kwimbono yomntwana. Uneshiti, hayi umbono.
Oku, kunjalo, ukudinwa ngakumbi kwezemfundo kunobokuqala, kodwa iziphumo zigqwesile, kodwa iziphumo azikwazi ukunxibelelana nabantu obathandayo, ke azifanelanga ( Kwaye ukuba bayatshata), kodwa baneengxaki ezikhulu ngokufunda, abakhumbuli ukuba batsha kwaye balilize, kwaye basebenzise iziyobisi, bahlukumeza ngoxinzelelo kunye nokuphazamiseka okuphazamisayo. Nangona kunjalo, amakhwenkwe ayabandezeleka, kancinci kancinci.
Ulawulo oluluncedo
Luhlobo luni lolawulo oluluncedo? Zimbini kuzo, kwaye eyona ndlela iphumelele ngayo - xa zihamba kunye.
Uhlobo lokuqala lolawulo lwakhiwa kwi Umdla ofanelekileyo . Leyo yindlela enomdla kumntwana, kwaye ndimdumise ngenkqubela phambili-olu luhlobo lolawulo. Imibuzo elula "Ngaba unomdla?", "Ngaba uyawuthanda?", "Undenze ntoni esikolweni?", "Injani intyatyambo entle!" -Uncedo kakhulu kwaye ulumke ngobomi bomntwana, kwaye udale imvakalelo yokuba uyakufuna ukuba usenzile kwaye kukho into enokwenzeka. Indlela efanayo ifundisa umntwana ukuba anomdla osondeleyo, ufundisa uvelwano, uvelwano, olwamncedayo ulungelelanise ngempumelelo iqela, ukumisela ubudlelwane obunobuhlobo kunye nothando, banomdla kwinto entsha.
Isibini - umbutho . Umntwana ufuna isakhiwo, isicwangciso, i-algorithms anokwenza ngayo. Kuhle ukuba uthatha inxaxheba kuphuhliso lwabo, kodwa yena uza nabo. Kananjalo ezo zinto zinjalo kufuneka zibetheke ngokwaneleyo, qhubeka kwizibonelelo zomntwana kwaye utshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ke siyayixhasa umntwana, sifunda ukuzimela kwaye singaguquguquki. Yenza uxanduva ngezenzo zakhe, ufundise "kukho indlovu kwiinxalenye" - zisombululo.
Abantwana kwiintsapho apho basetyenziswa khona ezi ntlobo zimbini zokunganyangeki zixhathise kakhulu kwiinkampani ezimbi, utywala kunye neziyobisi kunye neziyobisi ziyahambelana, nkqu xa kungekho bazali kwimpembelelo entle yeqela - njenge Isicelo sokuzibandakanya kwimisebenzi yesayensi, umzekelo. Kuninzi okuninzi ukungqubana noxinzelelo, i-neurosis kunye nokuphazamiseka okuphazamisayo. Ke, ukuba ufuna abantwana babantwana bakho - ngoku bayazi ukuba makenze ntoni.
Okubangela umdla kukuba, ithini enye i-psychology? Funda! Ungazixabisa njani na-iingcebiso ze-psychologakik ukuziqonda-iingcebiso ze-psychotherapistasm yomntwana ufuna utata? Ukusuka kwinqanaba lokujonga ugqirha wengqondo ukuba, ukuba uyathandana "hayi kuloo nto"? Iingcebiso ze-psychotherapist