Ngokuqala kwentlekele kubudlelwane bosapho, uninzi luqala ukwakha izicwangciso zoqhawulo mtshato, ngaphandle kokuzama ukugcina umtshato. Nangona kunjalo, uqhawulo-mtshato linyathelo elibi, kwaye kufuneka lwenziwe kancinci, ngononophelo kwaye luvavanya ngokupheleleyo konke "lwe" "kunye" no "nxamnye". Umtshato yintsebenziswano yabantu ababini abohlukeneyo, kunye nobunzima obuzahlulayo. Ukuze ungatshisi iibhulorho, kodwa uqonde ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato lufuneka ngokwenene, luziphendule nje ngemibuzo eli-9.
1. Ngaba ndifuna uqhawulo-mtshato okanye ndidinga ubudlelwane obahlukileyo neqabane lam?
Kukho umahluko omkhulu phakathi komtshato wesishwankathelo kunye nomtshato, ongayi kusindisa nto. Izibini zihlala zivela kwiingcali zengqondo ezineengxaki kwaye ezingakwaziyo ukusombulula ngaphandle koncedo. Ukuba emtshatweni wakho awuyifaneki into kubudlelwane ngokwayo, kodwa kwangaxeshanye umntu weendlela kwaye ufuna ukuba naye, kufuneka usebenze ngeempazamo kwaye uxoxe ngayo yonke into kunye nesiqingatha sakho. Khumbula, uqhawulo-mtshato ngumlinganiso ogqithisileyo.2. Ngaba wongeza uncedo kwiingcali kwaye uzame ukusebenza kubudlelwane?
Ngelishwa, unyango losapho aluhlali lunika iziphumo ezinqwenelekayo, kodwa nokuba ingcali ayikwazanga ukunceda-esi asisosizathu sokuhlamba izandla. Kuyenzeka ukuba ingcali ekhethiweyo ayisolwazi olwaneleyo kunye nezakhono zokunceda-ungazama ukukhetha enye i-psychotherapist. Ngaphezu koko, ngamnye kubo aneendlela zayo. Kwaye, ngendlela, ukuba ingcali ithi umtshato awunakusindiswa-ngokuqinisekileyo utshintshiwe.
Nangona kunjalo, kwanakwingcali yodidi lokuqala akufuneki ukuba lilinde izenzo zemilingo-ukusebenzela kwezenzo zakhe zenxalenye yenxalenye yenxalenye yenxalenye yenxalenye yenxalenye yakhe yenxalenye yenxalenye yenxalenye yakhe ibaluleke kakhulu kuxhomekeke kuwe. Omabini amaqabane kufuneka avule kwaye alungele ukutshintsha. Umtshato unethuba lonke lokubuyiselwa kuphela ukuba amaqabane ngokwakhe afuna ukuba kunye kwaye afumane iimvakalelo ezishushu omnye komnye.
3. Okanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba uninzi lwexinzelelo luphumile mva nje?
Uvavanyo olunzulu kunye nobunzima kungekudala okanye kamva ukuza nababini obonwabileyo. Ezomeleleyo kwaye zibizwe, iingxaki zemali, ukuphulukana nomsebenzi welinye lamaqabane, iingxaki zokukhulelwa, njl. Xa oku kuvela, umngcipheko woqhawulo-mtshato uyanda kakhulu. Ukuba ubomi bakho buzaliswa luxinzelelo, ke neengxaki ezincinci kulwalamano ziya kubonakala zinkulu kwaye azinakulunga - ngoxinzelelo, umntu uphulukana nokukwazi ukucinga ngobuchule.Ke ngoko, ukuba iingcinga zoqhawulo-mtshato zityelele ngokufika kobunzima-musa ukukhawuleza nesigqibo, mayela uqonde iingxaki, kwaye emva koko uyixabise imeko yentloko ebandayo. Ngapha koko, uliqela, kwaye kwiqela ukujamelana neengxaki ngokulula.
4. Ndiyaliqonda ityala lam?
Kuyo nayiphi na ingqungquthela, zombini zibekeke tyala kuzo zombini, kwaye ayinamsebenzi, ngokungqalileyo, iqabane liziphatha kwaye wenzakalise njani ngokwabo. Akukho bantu bafezekileyo kwaye abangenatyala ngokupheleleyo, ngakumbi kubudlelwane. Kunzima ukuvavanya izenzo zakho- mhlawumbi kwenye indawo ogxekwa ngokungekho mthethweni, ungajongisi, ungaligcini iLizwi lakho, lenze ukuba uvele, kwaye ungakrokrela nantoni na.
Qaphela ukuziva unetyala lakho-akuthethi ukuba uzigxeka kuzo zonke iingxaki. Oku kuthetha ukuba, thatha uxanduva ngamazwi akho, iintshukumo, kwaye iqabane kufuneka libe noxanduva lwalo. Ukuqonda apho kwenziwe impazamo, unokwakha isicwangciso sokusebenza sokulungisa imeko.
5. Lo mtshato wawusiphoso ekuqaleni, okanye ngaba le nkqubo iba sengxakini?
Kukho iimeko apho abantu abatshatayo bengena emtshatweni baqala ukungalungelanga ubudlelwane bosapho, nje abaqondi. Ngenxa yoku, iingxaki zabo zivela phantse kwasekuqaleni kobomi bosapho. Oku kwenzeka rhoqo xa imanyano irekhodwe ngokukhawuleza kwaye zombini azinaxesha lokufunda iqabane labo ukuba linele. Okanye, xa umtshato wenziwa ngenxa yokukhulelwa okungacwangciswanga, xa zonke izalamane zanyanzelisa ubudlelwane ngokusemthethweni. Ukuba le yimeko yakho, emva koko uwile uqhawulo-mtshato, uqonde nje esi sifundo sibalulekileyo kwikamva kwaye uzame ukunganyange kwi-rake efanayo.Ukuba isigqibo ngomtshato senziwa ngendlela efanelekileyo, emva kobudlelwane obude kwaye isigqibo asikhange sichaphazele abantu besithathu, ngoku, ngoku, ngalomzuzu weengxaki, kufuneka usebenze nje kwimpazamo, cinga kwakhona indlela yakho yokwakha ubudlelwane kunye Qonda ukuba ayikabi kwiqabane lakho "elingalunganga".
6. Ukuba isizathu soqhawulo-mtshato lwam kwisondo esisemgangathweni, sasikho imizamo yokulungisa yonke into?
Ukusombulula iingxaki kubomi obusondeleyo, akukho mfuneko yokuqhagamshelana neengcali. Iingxaki zesicwangciso esinjalo ziconjululwe ngempumelelo ngokuthatha inxaxheba kwababini. Njengoko izibalo zibonisa, zinesibini esifanelekileyo ngokumalunga noku, kuya kuhlala kukho into efana nedwa kwaye ayamkelekanga omnye. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, isini sesondo phantse sihlala sine-Ebrenting, kodwa minyaka le ikhula ngakumbi kwaye intsha ngakumbi - kodwa kulula ukuyilungisa.
Thetha neqabane lakho ngokungagungqi, ngobuchule ndixelele ukuba awonelisekanga kwaye yintoni enokufuna ukutshintsha. Mamela. Ukuze incoko iphumelele, kuya kufuneka ukuba ube njengongafikeleli, ungamangalelananga kwaye ungayigxeki. Uqhawulo-mtshato ngenxa yesondo elihlwempuzekileyo asisosizathu siphumeleleyo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuhlengahlengisa ngokumalunga noku kwaye kusekwe i-Wind kube lula kakhulu kunokuba ukhangele umphefumlo.
7. Ngaba ulindelo lwam kwintsimi yobomi bosapho kunye neqabane lakho awuphindiswa kakhulu?
Ngexesha lomgqatswa kunye nexesha elithenjiweyo, isibini sixakeke ngokufana, ukuba kubonakala ngathi ngathi uhlala kunjalo. Umyeni uya kunika iveki veki nganye ukuze anike iintyatyambo, ukuthetha, ihonjile kwisiqholo, kwaye umfazi uya kuhlala ehamba njani, ecocekile ukucoceka endlwini kunye nokupheka izidlo. Kwaye yintoni ukuphoxeka xa yonke into ichanekile ngokuchaseneyo. Kwaye konke ngenxa yobomi obudibeneyo ayisekho iholide yemihla ngemihla.Xa inkcitho yendima yayo kubudlelwane bokulindelekileyo ayikho ukuba incinci kakhulu. Umfazi ucwangcisa ukuba kwanasemva komtshato, uya kuba nakho ukwakha umsebenzi, ngokuninzi kokuzilawula kwaye uphile ngocwangciso lwalo. Ngapha koko, sisiqingatha semini yokuma kwiSlab, isukele isuphu ngesandla esinye, omnye ukufundisa izifundo kunye nomntwana, kwaye ujija umntwana. Akunakwenzeka ukuba umntu othile ulindele oku kwimanyano yomtshato.
Uninzi kumxholo womtshato kunye neqabane lulindele kakhulu, ngoko kufanelekile ukujonga imeko yentloko. Ukuba awukeli kwinxalenye yendlu yokuphila kunye, ngekhe uphile ngaphambi kokuba umtshato - ayingabo bonke abantu abanetyala losapho, kwaye akukho mntu ubekek 'ityala.
8. Kwaye ukhona wesithathu?
Xa ubuqhetseba buvele ngenxa yokuhlonela ixesha elinye, ukudlala ngothando, iindawo zokuthandana-umntu kunzima kakhulu ukuqonda ukuba uphi kwaye njani. Kwaye into yokuqala ekufuneka uyiphendule- yayingeliqabane elingathembekanga ngumnqweno wokuba "ukubaleka" kwiingxaki ezikhoyo kubudlelwane? Rhoqo, kunye nesityhilelo esifanelekileyo kunye nawe, impendulo yombuzo ilungile. Xa kuvela uninzi lweengxaki zasekhaya entsatsheni, kwaye amaqabane alibali ngendlela uthando olunye, kubonakala ngathi ubudlelwane buye kuphele. Kwaye ke ndifuna uthando kunye neemvakalelo zothando ...
Umthandi / isithandwa esivumela ukuba uzive ngathi uthandana nomntu okwishumi elivisayo, ohamba ngomhla, ulinde intlanganiso elandelayo. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo malunga noqhawulo-mtshato ngenxa ye "thando" elitsha kufanelekile ukuba ujonge emva kwezibalo. Malunga ne-75% yolwalamano "ecaleni kwecala" musani ukuphuhlisa kwinto enzulu. Rhoqo, ukukopa ngokwakho kwenzeka nangenxa yesizathu sokuba ndiyithandile omnye umntu, kodwa ngenxa yonxaniweyo kwinto entsha. Nangona kunjalo, kunokwenzeka ukufezekisa oku emtshatweni, ngokuthumela nje i-gust yakho yangaphakathi ye-rounticism ukuba iphumelele ubudlelwane obukhoyo.
9. Ngaba ndiyalithanda iqabane lam?
Uthando aluqinisekisi ukuba ubudlelwane bubekwe kwi-100%, kodwa kukho amathuba amaninzi ngayo. Ukuba ufumana iqabane ubuncinci ukuqaqamba okungenani, ke akufuneki uphose ubudlelwane - zama nje ukulwa, kwaye uyakuhlala unexesha lokukhwela.