Twese dukunda gusoma ibitabo n'ingingo zubwenge. Cyane cyane abo batubwira ababo. Kandi igihe cyose tugerageje gusaba inama mubikorwa, tutatekereje - kandi umwanditsi arabizi?
Turasubiza. Umwanditsi wiyi nyandiko ntabwo azi gusa. Arabizi. Polina GaverdovsKaya - Umuhanga mu by'imitekerereze y'amavuriro, wa Gestalt-Therapiste, Gestalt-Umutoza n'Umuyobozi. Kandi iyi nyandiko ivuga kubyo gukora niba hafi yawe - Narcissus. Kuberako hamwe na daffidil yewe ukuntu bigoye gushyikirana.- Iyo uhisemo Ikran yawe, agomba kandi kuguhitamo. - Namenye nte ibyo yampitamo? - arashaka kukwica. // k / f "avatar" //Mu myaka cumi n'itanu mu kugisha imitekerereze na cumi na babiri - muri psychotherapy, numvise inkuru nyinshi z'abagore zerekeye urukundo rutishimye. Kwibuka inkuru zibabaje cyane zijyanye no kubura ubwumvikane hagati yabafatanyabikorwa, gukoresha imitekerereze ndetse niyobye na psysmclologiya, ndumva ko hafi ya bose murimwe ituganisha ku ngingo ya Narcissism.Niki kivuga?
Ijambo "Narcissism" uyumunsi ryatangijwe mumitekerereze rusange na Freud. Na we yerekeza ku mateka y'usi ya kera y'Abaroma Ovidi, yabwiye hashize imyaka 2000: Umusore yakundanye no gutekereza ku mazi kandi apfa azize ko "bakundwa". Kumva iyi nkuru, urashobora gutekereza nkaho "Narcissism" bisobanura "kwikunda cyane." Igitangaje cya muganga ni iyo myitozo isobanura ibinyuranye rwose."Uhereye kuva mu bwana"
Byemezwa ko Narcissus yari afite nyina cyangwa akonje cyangwa yanze nyina, udafashe umwana uko ari. Gukomeza kunegura no kutishimira ababyeyi bishobora kurengerwa nishimwe ridakwiye rya paradoxifique, ryagize imyumvire idahwitse ubwayo. Ku ntsinzi idahwitse kandi idatangazwa, izazamuka mwijuru kandi itanga kimwe cya kabiri kumunsi intwari yumwaka. Kunanirwa kwitandukanya cyangwa kwirengagiza, kwerekana ko nta mahirwe, ntakintu. Narcissism cyane cyane ivuka mumiryango aho abana batigera bashimwa na gato. Kwamburwa urukundo ukunda umwana biteye ubwoba kurenza uko ari munsi. Kwamburwa kwumwana muto byurukundo nkurupfu rwimbere. Umwana nkuyu yiga kumenyera imbeho no kwanga ababyeyi, guhora agera ku ntsinzi, bishoboka byahanura kwishyura urukundo. Niba umubyeyi akunda abakinnyi bato, Umwana azashyira inyandiko. Niba nyirakuru ari umusazi kubyerekeye ubuvanganzo bwamahanga, umwuzukuru azasoma muri Gugo wambere. Kandi kubishinzwe imibare ya papa, umukobwa nkuyu azakanda mucyiciro cya gatandatu cyikibazo gigenewe. Urabaza ibibi hano? Muri phenomenon cyane yicyifuzo cyo gutungana - ntacyo. Hatabayeho ibi, nta myitozo, cyangwa gukora kumakosa, cyangwa ubuhanzi cyangwa iterambere rya siyansi na tekiniki, cyangwa gukura kugiti cyanjye. Byongeye kandi: Ubwiza cyane mwisi yacu bwaremwe na Narcissus kuri Narcissus (kandi dukoresha). Ikibazo kiri mubindi: Kumenyera ubumuga bwumuryango, umwana yishyura imbere.Ubuzima bwa Narcissus -
... Habaho gukomeza gutera imbere, kuko kumutakaza - bisobanura kuzimira. Muyandi magambo, Narcissue ahora ahari, icyo gukora kandi icyarimwe - burigihe. Kandi kubera ko kumva ko gutabwa biteye ubwoba, birakomeza gushaka uburyo bwo kwiteza imbere, kurengana mubuzima nkabo. Ariko ibi ntabwo ari bibi cyane. Abantu ntawe ukundwa rwose, ntibashobora kuyanduza cyangwa kuwutanga. Birumvikana ko, ubwana bwintwari yacu bwari bubabaje ndetse ikamusenya. Kandi, kwerekana imibabaro ye, birashoboka ko wumva ububabare n'imbabazi, nkanjye. Ariko, kurokoka, narcissus mubisanzwe ntaguma mu madeni. Yishyura isi asenya abafitanye isano, bakora ibyo yigishaga ababyeyi be. Ndashaka kubibwira byinshi."Umuganwa n'Umusape"
Nk'uko byatangajwe mu mutwe wa Purchotherapist Harma Siemens, Narsorissni yose ashobora kugabanywamo ubwoko bubiri. Reka tubihamagare "Umuganwa" na "usabiriza." Abantu Ubwoko bwa mbere ("Abasabirizi") barimo kubona cyane ubwiza bwabo no kudatungana. Ifuro ryabo ribabaje kubandi bantu batsinze rimwe na rimwe bavomererwa no kwiheba. Bakomeretse cyane kandi batunzwe n'umuntu wo hanze, kandi bakeneye kwemerwa guhoraho, gusa intege nke zifuza cyane. Ntabwo banyurwa cyangwa ngo bishimye kuko badafite ubushobozi bwo kwishimira ubuzima gusa. Ahantu ubuzima bishora mubitekerezo bibabaza ko mubuzima bidahari. Kubera iyo mpamvu, bagira ingaruka cyane kubera kubura abandi bantu, ariko batinya ko bazabashyiraho neza, babona "inenge", burigihe bakomera. Daffidss ubwoko bwa kabiri ("Abaganwa") bitwara nkibihahuye byuzuye, kandi mubisanzwe baboneka muri abo bana bafite amahirwe yo kwishimira .. Ntabwo bamenya uburambe bwabo - ububabare bwo kutaba bwiza. Muri uru rubanza, uburinzi bwa psychologiya buramba cyane (N'ubundi kandi, bafashije umwana kubaho!) Noneho, rero, abantu nkabo bahagaze neza "kutihatanwa." Bazi neza ko batunganye! Bahisha ubwibone bwabo butagira akagero, ibyiza, niko ubwenge bwabo. Niba (muri make) winjiye mu ruziga rw'abahagarariye, "igikomangoma" gishobora kuba ibanga ryo kukwemerera ko ariwe muntu ukomeye ku isi. Ku mwanya wa kabiri - wowe, kubera ko icyubahiro cyubashywe kugirango umenye ibanga. Ubwibone bwa karicature bukora nk'ubushyari ("Ndacyari beza kubenza"), no kwigirira icyizere - uburinzi bwo kumenya neza ("sinshobora guhangana nabo nta na bo"). Birumvikana ko ibikomangoma na byo bahura n'ibibazo byo gushiraho umubano wa hafi, ariko ntuzigere umenya uruhare rwabo muri bo. Nibyo, kandi muri rusange bisa nkaho utuntu nkaya ari ubucuti, ntahangayitse cyane. N'ubundi kandi, imbere ni ibintu bikomeye! Ni ubuhe buryo busanzwe mu bwoko bubiri butandukanye bwabantu? Kuba abantu n'abandi barwaye batitaye ku kudatungana, kubera ko "barushaho kuba mwiza" - kandi hariho uburyo bumwe buzwi, urukundo rwabandi rushobora gukwiye. Bitandukanya ibyambere kuva ku isegonda gusa nkuko bizi iyi mibabaro. Niba murwego rwa mbere wambaye ubusa kandi akababara, hanyuma muri kabiri - kuvugurura no kurinda imitekerereze kugeza ubudakirana. Abanya Narcissiya bafite ubunebwe, cyane cyane bakemura ibibazo bya psychotherapeutic. "Ibikomangoma", Ibinyuranye n'ibyo, kuko ubufasha budakoresha hafi ya rimwe na rimwe, kandi bikabazwa no kuba hafi. Ariko ibyibanze nyamukuru ni uko imbere muri buri "igikomangoma" ari "usabiriza" (kandi mu buryo bunyuranye), kandi ntabwo twumva nta rundi. Reka rero dukemure ibyo ibikomangoma byakozwe.Tangira: Uruziga rukabije rwo kwishimira
Ibanga rikomeye ry "Prince" ni uko yashidikanyaga ku buryo busa ku buryo bwe bwite, kandi kwishe cyane ni ibiryo nyamukuru. Akimara kubona ko utazi neza konti ye, azagusigira ako kanya - kugira ngo ashake uwo azamurege. Ariko niba wowe, uracyaboneka ibizakurikiraho? Mugihe gito ibintu byose bizaba byiza. Kubera ko ubusanzwe Dafodils iba ifite ubwenge, igikomangoma cyawe kizagushakisha vuba kandi kizaba abakunda cyane. Bizakuzanira indabyo ukunda cyangwa ibishushanyo mbonera (biterwa nibitera reaction ikomeye). Niba ukunda ikinamico, azagura itike aho warose kubona. Niba ufite byinshi biga muri parike, ntibizemera igihe gito: kugenda gusa. Aziga ururimi rwawe. Aziga gusetsa kugirango ubashe guterana kandi umva kugirango wemera ko yagerageje gukora ku nkuru. Igihe runaka (gito cyane) uzishima. Narcissus arashobora kuba umukunzi wingenzi cyane, ibyo wigeze uhura, kandi ntibishobora kuba na gato. Biterwa nubuso bwubuzima bwatorewe kwiyemeza. Narcissus ni yoroshye kubimenya: ntuzigera ushobora guhura nawe mumarangamutima. Muri ibyo bihe, mugihe ushimishije cyane, bane hamwe na Plus kandi bikaba bihuye namakuba mubwonko bwe biguye vuba muri Mariko ye vuba. Ntabwo ahagije kuri wewe: atora uko ari umukunzi mwiza. Nkuko tumaze kubimenya, ibyiyumvo biteye ubwoba byimiti yimbere narcissus birashobora kwimuka muburyo bumwe - kwishima. Igitangaje nuko uko byashimwa gute, burigihe bidahagije, kuko ubusa imbere budashoboka gufunga hanze. Nubwo byamukuru gute, kandi nubwo byashimwa gute, azahora ari ikintu cyangwa gito, kuko we ubwe, ntabwo yemera ko ikintu gifite agaciro. Ameze nk'amafarasi ya Munhausen: anywa imwe mu mperuka ye, isuka mu kindi. Umaze kureba mu maso ye, vuga uti: "Muri mwiza," na we, arabishakira, azasubiza ati: "Nawe nawe uri Wow." Namwe hamwe nubukari buteye ubwoba buzumva ko ibyiyumvo byose mubumwe bwawe ari ibyawe gusa.Gukomeza: Ishyari na "bateri ye"
Wibuke: Narcissus atagira ishyari, kuko ishyari ari ibintu byumvikana byo kutanyurwa ubwabyo. Na Narcissus batayihakana ubudahenga, bahakana ko bafite ishyari: bitabaye ibyo, bataraterane batitayeho, ntibizabaho kwihangana na gato. Ishyari rya Narcissical rifite "bashiki bacu bato" - Ibindi bintu byihariye, bigaragara cyane mubucuti: kudashima, kudashobora gusaba imbabazi nubukonje. Gushimira bifata ko umuntu afite ikintu nkeneye, kandi ibi ni ugutera isoni. Kwicuza nubushobozi bwo gusaba imbabazi - nanone adahari, kuko bitabaye ukundi byabaye ngombwa ko tumenya ko igikomangoma cyawe cyari kibi. Ubukonje bwa Narcissus busobanurwa no kuba amarangamutima bisobanura ibisazi, kwizerana no gusiba imbibi. Kandi kuri Narcissa, uru ni urupfu, kuko icyo gihe ntazashobora kuyobora uburyo ari bwiza.Ni iki gikurikira?
Kubera ko Narcissus adashoboye kugirana ubucuti, "urukundo" ni mwiza cyane gutangira kumura. Kandi kuva wemera ko bidashoboka kuba hafi, ntushobora kuguhakorohereza. Kubwibyo, burigihe aho kuba igikomangoma cyiza, uzasangamo ikiremwa gihamye, cyababaje mumaso yawe kwisi yose. Niba adafite akamaro ko kuguma munda, yahise azasinzira cyane mu byatsi kuruhande rwumuhanda cyangwa "kubwamahirwe" azibagirwa ninama. Niba ishusho ikenewe, irabaza cyane cyane, ntabwo uri kumwanga rwihishwa igikombe cyayo ukunda igihe yari mu bugingo. Iyo wowe, useka ubwoba, wabajije umubano mwiza kwisi kwisi, ikintu nka: "Ntabwo ufite ibitwenge cyane." Guseka, birumvikana ko biguma mu muhogo, ariko ukimara kwinjira wenyine, biragaragara ko wowe, soma, hindura amakamyo yikirahure kuri logique kandi Kunoza Kwibuka, kuko akubwira kubyerekeye ubwa kabiri, ariko kubyerekeye logique mu nzego ... kandi muri rusange, uzamenya ko utari umugore we ukomeye Ibiboko bito. Niba ukiri kumwe na we, noneho bizaba bibi. Ukimara guhana itangazamakuru, biragaragara ko udahagije ninshuti ze. Iyo utangiye ugutwi kugirango umwere inshuti ze, bizaba byiza ko wasubiye inyuma inseko yo gusura amenyo. Iyo umennye, birasa nkaho, ucibwa urubanza ukurikije ibitekerezo byawe, ntabwo wasomye igitabo cya Lositike. Kandi iyo kurira, uzatera isaha isaha, azayitanga hamwe nigikombe cyakundaga (ababanjirije uko babyinnye).imperuka
Niba utamukunda, uragenda nonaha. Ariko niba utamukunze, wasoma? Bonus, ninde ugutegereje kurangiza marato - rwose uzaba mwiza. N'ubundi kandi, ntamuntu ubabaza igitabo kuri logique, cyangwa gusura inzoga nyinshi, cyangwa inda iringaniye. Ibyiza wishyura ibi ni inshuro nyinshi kwiyandikisha ngarukamwaka muri siporo yindobanure - kwizera ubwayo no kumva ko ari ubusa, burigihe ujya kubarose gukora daffins.* * *
Ibyago bya Narcissism ni byiza imbere, nkuko bitagaragara hanze. Ibuka ikintu kimwe: nubwo igikomangoma cyawe cyaba gifite amahirwe, ahora ari umusazi imbere, kandi akaba abonye ko atari byiza. Amahoro, kurega kure cyane umunezero, kumusura akanya mugihe yatsinze igitego ku ntambwe ikurikira yintambwe itagaragara yerekeza mwijuru. Ibicucu byinshi ukunda, niko akeka ko impamvu yatumye yifuza cyane kandi atishimiye kwisi. Kandi ubukana burushaho kukuzamura nkigice cyiyi si itari nziza. Ururabo rwawe rwiza, rukomeye ruzahangayikishwa, ntabwo ruhangayikishijwe, ntabwo ari isi atari wowe. Inyigisho ya buri munsi yerekeye kwiteza imbere ntabwo bizaba, ariko ntibizaba bitandukanye cyane. Ntazigera abona ubushyuhe nyabwo; Ntashobora kukumva neza, niba wumva umerewe nabi kandi "roho irababara"; Ntazi kwicuza kandi ntashobora gushyigikira mumarangamutima. Muri make, ntamuntu numwe mubucuti nawe.Nyuma yijambo
"Ntabwo nzi icyo umugore ankeneye. Kunanirwa n'intege nke bizarakara kuberako ankurikirana. Intsinzi kandi yigenga izantera kumva ishyari no guteterezwa. Nkeneye umukobwa wumukobwa ukomeye, intsinzi nzifatanyamo igihe cyose: bitabaye ibyo ntabwo ndarokoka. Kandi ndabirwanya cyane iyo mbivuze. " Iyi nyandiko yigeze kuvuga umwe mu bakiriya banjye, atari kuri Narcissus zose: Narcissus kuri ubwo bunyangamugayo n'ubutwari ntabwo ashoboye. Ariko buri wese muri bo yumva ay. Kubwibyo, niba, ariko, fata icyemezo cyo kuguma, wikomeze kuba daffodini ihitamo ibyiza, bityo igikomangoma cyawe cyaguhisemo. Ariko niba utekereza ko iyi myumvire ishobora gukiza aho gukunda, uribeshya. Umwanditsi Umwanditsi: Polina GaverdovsKaya, http://gaverdovskaya.ru/