Mubyukuri, iyi ngingo ya psychologue yumuryango Pavel Zygmantovich yitangiye imyumvire iturinda kubaho. Nibyiza, icyarimwe, abagabo biyejeje ko abagore badashaka guhita batwite bakabyara, ni ibisimba gusa.
Akenshi, abantu ntakibazo bafite. Byibuze psychologiya.Ariko abantu batangaje kubahangana mugukora ibibazo nkibi hafi ya scratch.
Dore urugero rworoshye (ni synthique - igizwe ninkuru nyinshi hamwe no gusimbuza burundu ibice byose, harimo hasi yabantu; ibice byose bitandukanye nibyo bidasanzwe).
Hariho umugabo n'umugore. Barubatse. Umugore areba abana, atitonze, atitayeho. Kandi umugabo akunda abana kandi arashaka (ariko ntabwo ari ubungubu, ariko muri rusange - umunsi umwe).
Kandi ikibazo cyuyu mugabo biroroshye cyane - umugore we, uko atekereza, umugore uteye ubwoba (na, kandi, avuga rwose, ntabwo ari umugore na gato).
"Kuki" ubajije? Kuberako umugore agomba gukunda abana (nyuma ya byose, abagore bose bakunda abana), bitabaye ibyo ntabwo ari umugore, kandi ntiwumve icyo.
Kandi dore couple ishobora kubaho igihe kirekire kandi yishimye (cyane cyane kuva ubu - yitabwaho byimazeyo - kubyara umwana ari muburyo butandukanye), ni hafi gutandukana.
Byagenze bite?
Ndabisubiramo nanongeye gusubiramo kuva intangiriro yinyandiko - abantu bakunze gukora ibibazo byo mumitekerereze yigenga.
By'umwihariko, muriyi nkuru, umugabo yubaka imyanzuro yayo kubibazo bidasanzwe byubuzima (cyangwa, niba mu rurimi rwumwuga, gahunda yubwenge). Kubera iyo myanzuro nibibazo bigaragara.
Kuki umugabo yafashe iyo myanzuro? Kuberako, nkumuntu uwo ari we wese, uhuza ibinyuranye muburyo butandukanye mubitekerezo, byangiza ubuzima bwumuntu. Ibi biyobyabwenge mubisanzwe bitwa amakosa yibitekerezo, ariko ndakunzwe cyane n '"imyumvire" - amajwi yoroshye.
Iyi mpengamiro yumuntu ifite, uko bigaragara, ukomoka, kandi niba itarangije mumutwe we, biroroshye cyane gutsindwa kuri ibyo bidahuye kandi uture ibibazo byinshi. Nkuko bimeze, mubyukuri, urugero rwabaye murugero.
By'umwihariko, umugabo yerekana impengamiro yo kumenya, gutabara (ni imitekerereze n'umukara n'umweru), nyirubwite kandi, amaherezo, kugira ngo ibyago.
Inyandikorugero muri rusange
Impengamiro yo muri rusange ni ukwita kubibazo utitaye kubijyanye nibisobanuro. Umugabo ukora, abato, babiri.A) Yizera ko abagore bose bakunda abana, nubwo atari kumarana ubushakashatsi (yego ntibishoboka gukora - bidashoboka ku mubiri). Ni ukuvuga, umwanzuro ntamvikana kandi ukwiye kubagore bamwe gusa, kandi ntabwo ari abantu bose.
b) Yavuze muri make igitekerezo cy '"urukundo," kitumvikana, ariko kikasenya. Nkigisubizo, ntibisobanutse rwose uko ashaka kuvuga kandi nicyo imyitwarire yumugore we ihuye cyangwa itahuye nibiteze.
Inyandikorugero yo gutandukana
Impengamiro yo gutangiza ni ukureba ibintu byose mumajwi yumukara numweru nta gicucu ki hagati. Umugabo ufata umugore we gusa muburyo bubiri - cyangwa ni umubyeyi mwiza (ukunda abana), cyangwa ibibi (ntabwo akunda abana).
Ntabwo yemera ko igitekerezo cy'uko umugore ashobora kuba umubyeyi mwiza, rimwe, rimwe - mediocre, rimwe - kimwe cyiza, kimwe na kimwe.
Ubuzima bwabantu birakunze kugufasha gukoresha igabana risobanutse. Ndetse nibindi byinshi rero ntibishoboka gukora aho ibintu byose bigenda bihinduka. N'ububyeyi (n'ububyeyi by'umwihariko) buri muntu arimo kwigaragaza kwinshi. Kandi umubyeyi mwiza mumunota arashobora kuba umubyeyi uteye ubwoba, kandi umubyeyi uteye ubwoba muminota arashobora kuba umubyeyi mwiza.
Ibi bigereranyo birashoboka gusa kumwanya runaka, kandi muri rusange, kugirango mvuge guhuriza hamwe, igereranyo ntibushoboka (kandi wizera ko bishoboka, akimenya muburyo bwo kumenya neza).
Kuruhande rwa nyirubwite
Impengamiro yo gutunga - Kuba hari igitekerezo cy'uko hari imiti ivuka igomba gukurikiza ukuri kwukangurani; Niba ibiteganijwe bidakozwe, bifatwa nkibyago. Muri ibi bihe, umugabo atekereza ko abagore bagomba gukunda abana, kubera ko abagore ari abagore. Kandi kubera ko umugore we adakunda abana, ntabwo ari umugore na gato.
Mubyukuri, birashoboka, ntabwo aribyo. Abagore barashobora gukunda abana, ntibashobora gukunda - ntabwo bigira ingaruka ku bwinshi bwabo. Nta buryo busanzwe bwurukundo rutagira icyo rukunda kubana. Hariho uburyo bwo kuvuga, "abafasha" by'urukundo (imisemburo imwe oxytocine, urugero, ariko uburyo bwa "Alex", ntakiriho.
Nanone, abagore ntibafite imyifatire y'ababyeyi, kandi hari imyitwarire y'ababyeyi, ariho gusa kubera ibinyabuzima (Yego, ni ukuvuga, iki ni igihe kirekire muri biologiya).
Muri rusange, bigaragaza ko igitekerezo cyo gushidikanya, nkuko bibaho, atari byo. Kandi kubera ko atari byo, ntibikwiye kurakara kubera ko.
Impengamiro yo gutangaza
Impengamiro yo gutangaza ni ikizere ko ibyabaye bizatera imbere ku bintu bibi, utitaye ku bundi buryo bwo guteza imbere ibintu.Muri iki gihe, umugabo abona verisiyo imwe gusa yiterambere ryibintu - ntibizigera bagira abana basanzwe hamwe nuyu mugore kandi bizatuma ubuzima bwabo bukabije.
Bishoboka bite ko ibi byagaragayeho? Kutavuga byinshi.
Nkuko imyitozo yerekana, abafatanyabikorwa benshi babanje kubana nabana no kwitiranya ibintu bitandukanye. Ariko, mugihe runaka, umwanya wabo uzanwa hamwe, kandi basangamo igitekerezo rusange. Ntabwo ari ikintu cyihuse, ariko ntigisenyuka mumavi - abantu bose baremeratse kuri iyi ngingo rusange (kuko ni rusange).
Ahari ubundi buryo - buragaragara ko nta bana ari byiza kandi nta mpamvu yo kubyara.
Ahari inzira ya gatatu - Nyuma yigihe runaka umugore ubwe yahisemo kubyara.
Muri rusange, amahitamo yo gutera "ntituzagira abana basanzwe kandi biteye ubwoba" ntabwo byanze bikunze cyangwa bishoboka cyane. Kandi umugabo ararakara kandi yiteguye gutandukana.
Incamake
Ibi bitekerezo mubitekerezo, nkuko nabivuze, byangiza abantu rwose ubuzima. Ibi, nkuko bisanzwe, amakuru mabi.
Hariho kandi inkuru nziza - izi mvugo zose ziratsindwa. Niba ubafashe hejuru hejuru yabo, birabaho neza cyane.
Noneho, ahari, ugomba gusubiza ikibazo uhereye ku nyandiko. Mu magambo make, namaze kubisubiza mu nyandiko. Hano kora inketi.
Oya, ntabwo yica, niba umugore adashaka abana. Ubwa mbere, abashakanye barashobora kubaho badafite abana. Icya kabiri, hariho kurerwa no kurera. Icya gatatu, ntampamvu yo kwizera ko byumwihariko uyu mugore azareba nkubuzima bwiteka.
Birakwiye gutandukana niba umwe mubafatanyabikorwa adashaka abana? Ntabwo ari njye guhitamo uko ubyumva. Njye mbona, nibyiza guhana no kudasenya - bishoboka birashoboka nuko iyo myanya iri hafi. Ni ukuvuga, uwo mwashakanye umwe ntagishaka cyane, ariko icya kabiri ntabwo cyanze cyane. Urareba, umuntu uhamagare.