Ikibazo gishimishije cyane kubyerekeranye na psychologue ni: "nuburyo bwo guhitamo imitekerereze isanzwe?" N'ubundi kandi, kwiringira cyane amabanga yabo n'ibyiyumvo byabo. Mubyukuri, hari inzobere-uruzitiro, urashobora guhitamo nkundi nzobere (cyangwa toaster mububiko bwa interineti) - ni ukuvuga.
Inkingi yacu, psychotherapiste Adrian Izh, yadusangiye natwe icyegeranyo cyabakiriya bayo. Dukurikije ibi bisobanuro, nkuko tubitekereza, birasobanutse: uwo bikwiye kugenda, kandi ninde wumva uzenguruka kuruhande no kuri timptoe.Ibitekerezo bibi
Guhagarika isomo amasaha abiri mbere yuko batangira, kubuza kurakara. Amagambo: "Ntushobora kundakarira." Nyuma yo gusubira inyuma umukiriya, sinigeze numva ibyo nakoze.
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Umuntu umaze iminota 50, yavuganye nanjye mukwoza ijwi. Ikiganiro kirangiye, ubwo nabyutse njya ku muryango (nashakaga gusaba umugabo we kujya kwishyura) mbere y'ibyabaye, "kandi ni nde uzishyura amafaranga ?!"
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Yatanze ubufatanye mu bucuruzi bujyanye nakazi kanjye, warakomeje, akandagira ko hamwe no gukura kw'ibintu byanjye, ibibazo byose namuhindukiriye.
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Twari dufite amakimbirane afunguye. Umuvuzi yavuze ko ntagerageje bihagije, kuko nta bisubizo. Kubera iyo mpamvu, byanteye ubwoba cyane imbere y'itsinda ryose baranteransaniraga kurira n'abari aho.
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Yatanze serivisi zabo ku bahuza mu gihe umwe mu babyeyi yakuye undi mwana. Yafashe impano muri umwe mu baburanyi, arenga ku mbibi z'Ubutegetsi bwa kabiri, yifatanije n'ishyaka rya kabiri, yifatanije n'ishyaka rikomeye mu gihe cy'abunzi, yifatanije na we, yemeye ko urubanza rugerageze no gutukwa ku ishyaka rya kabiri.
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Nabonye kunegura no gusuzuma nabi ibikorwa byanjye n'imyitwarire yanjye. Ntabwo nkuramo ibyo kubera ko bidashoboka. Ikishimishije gishimishije hamwe nibiciro: "Niba utekereza ko ushobora kwishyura byinshi, ugomba kwishyura byinshi." "Ntabwo ushima imitekerereze, kuko kwishyura amafaranga." "Ikiguzi cyo hejuru, uko winjijwe mu nzira." Gushiraho byasobanuwe gutya: "Natinze isomo, kuko watinze", "Sinshaka kugusanga, kuko Uratinze. " Ndemera ko gutinda byabaye, aho nahoraga nsaba imbabazi. Ariko niba umukiriya wabanjirije atinze, nansabye imbabazi.
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Indangagaciro z'umuntu hamwe nisi yose, byashimangiwe cyane kubukwe gakondo. Yahakanye kandi ntiyemeraga ibyumviro by'abakiriya, akandagira ati: "Nibyo, ko udakunda uyu mugabo, areba ibyiza, akaba ushobora gusanga mu myaka yawe?"
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Igihe nateje igitekerezo gitekerezo ko ibibazo bikomeye, nko kwiyongera kwiyoroshya, ariko bisaba kwiga neza, kandi ko ntanyuzwe n'umurimo wa kabiri wakoreshejwe, umuhanga mu by'imitekerereze yashubije : "Nibyo, wahisemo kuva muri iryo tsinda - sinshobora kubigiraho ingaruka."
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Yinubiye ko abarwayi bamwe "bakoresha." Ku kibazo, niba igenzura irangiye, irarakara irashinzwe ko "zimaze kwimurwa, kandi zikamuhinduzwa ku rwego nk'urwo ko ubu ku butegetsi rimuhindukirira."
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Iyo ugeze mugihe cyagenwe, ugomba gutegereza igihe kirangiye wakiriye hamwe numukiriya wambere, kuva muminota 30 kugeza kumasaha imwe nigice. Kandi inama zawe zirashobora kandi kugera kumasaha abiri, abiri nigice aho kuba isaha imwe. Kubwakirwa Hariho byinshi kuri wewe kandi biragoye cyane kwica, hafi 80% yigihe bisaba kugirango bumve inkuru ivuga ku buzima bwe. Nayo irashobora kuvuga igihe kirekire kuri terefone. Yashimangiye gusura abandi mahugurwa ye yo mu mutwe yari afitanye isano riri mu kibazo cyanjye. Ndacyashobora gukwirakwiza amakarita yacu yubucuruzi, kugirango nigeze kubona umuntu amuhindukirira kuriyi karita yubucuruzi, abakiriya bashoboraga kubona kugabana. Kubera iyo mpamvu, nsaba ko nsaba no gukora, aho nakoranye n'umukobwa we, nagize amakimbirane. Nibyo, amaherezo yambwiye ko atabonye imyumvire mu bindi bindi. Kuri njye mbona twasenye cyane imipaka kandi ndamumanitse cyane kuburyo ntarakira ibi.
Isubiramo ryiza
Yoroshye cyane kandi byoroshye. Rwose yafashije kumenya isake zimwe. Nabonye inkunga nyinshi, kandi nashoboraga guhindura ikintu mubuzima. Ukuri kwari ibyifuzo bigoye cyane, ariko sinagerageje no kugerageza gukora mbere yakazi.
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Ndashimira umuvuzi wanjye bwite kubushyuhe. Buri nama, nubwo bigoye cyane ibyambayeho, bishyigikiraga kumva ko atitonze ko ari ngombwa kuri we: Nacitse intege cyangwa sibyo. Witonze, witonze unyujije mu kwiga ibihugu byanjye bibabaza. Yafashije gukemura amakimbirane menshi mumutwe wanjye.
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Muri kiriya gihe, nije kwiga neza, nize kurushaho kumenya no kumva umubiri wanjye. Nahagaritse guhangayikishwa muri traviya no kwiyiriza, byarushijeho kwigirira icyizere mubushobozi bwawe. Ndacyiga kwiyizera no gukesha umuvuzi nagize intambwe nini muri iki cyerekezo. Kubwamahirwe, ibitero byubwoba byarashize, imitekerereze yazimiye. Nongeye kumwenyura kandi ntatinya ejo hazaza. Umuvuzi wunviste cyane, wizeye ayoboye ikiganiro kandi uhore yumva ibyiyumvo byanjye.
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Umuvuzi yamfashije kubaho igihe kitoroshye cyubuzima bwanjye. Ndashimira umurimo we wubuhanga ufite amarangamutima, ibyiyumvo nuburambe, nashoboye guhitamo mubuzima bwanjye no gusobanukirwa icyo nshaka nuburyo nshaka ko kibaho mubuzima bwanjye. Yamfashije guhangana no kurwanya impinduka. Yampaye iyo nkunga ntashobora kubona ahantu hose kandi ntarigoye cyane guhangana n'ibibera mu buzima bwanjye. Kubera ko twakoraga byinshi kuri pskchosomatics, nasanze byabaye byiza kumva umubiri wanjye. Yatangiye kumwumva n'ibyiyumvo bye.
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Nari mu mvugo imyaka 5. Hamwe na Therapiste nakoze umubare munini wavumbuwe cyane kandi muto kuri njye, birashimishije ntabwo aribyo. Birumvikana, mugihe cyibintu bishimishije, yankunze uburyo umuvuzi, birenze igihe nagombaga kwemera ibidashimishije. Ireme nyamukuru nubwenge bwimbere. Ni ukuvuga, kubaha ntabwo ari ubuhanga kandi ntabwo ari imbaraga, ariko inzira yo kubaho. Simvuze umwuga nkuko bigaragara cyane.
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Umuvuzi wanjye akorana nanjye imyitwarire, nta kurenga, kimwe no gutanga ubumenyi, uburezi, uburambe. Iyo bimaze kugaragara ko ikintu, ibyo navuze, nkuko namaze kubimenya nonaha (icyo gihe sinari nzi), byari ukurenga ku mategeko. Yanteze amatwi, kandi igihe natangiraga kubaza ibibazo byihariye, na mbere natuje cyane kandi nasobanuye neza ko bidashoboka kandi adashobora gukora ibi kandi adashobora kubikora ku kibazo cyanjye). Hanyuma yasobanuye ubundi buryo, hanyuma abaza kandi yumva ko ubu ntekereza kuri ibi, bijyanye nibihe.
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Buri cyiciro cyanyuze mu bugingo bwuzuye "frill", ariko amaherezo naje kugarurwa. Muri "gusebanya", sinigeze mpagarika. Gutumirwa kw'imyanya y'ubuzima (indangagaciro, imyizerere), ariko umurimo ntiwabujije.
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Mfite ubwitonzi, ryiza, rishyigikira Gestalt Therapist. Nibyiza, ikora kandi ikabaho, no kuri Skype. Dukorana nawe hafi umwaka, ingaruka ni nziza, ndavuka, umuryango urishimye.
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Ndashimira cyane inzobere mu myaka igera kuri 1.5 zishyigikira, ubuvuzi bwakiriye, ntabwo bwanyemereye gusa ku rupapuro, kugira ngo akore ibikomere bihagije (kandi imyaka myinshi) ibikomere, ahubwo yanasobanukiwe icyo nshobora kugerageza njye ubwanjye, ndetse ndabishaka. Kandi ushake muri wewe kuri iyi soko yingabo niterambere ryimbere.
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Mfite ubushake bubi, bushyigikiwe cyane, bwihangana cyane, kora umunezero umwe. Nibyiza, iterambere ni ryiza kandi riragaragara. Kuva kuri Leta "Umusozi utishimye, ndimo kuryamaho urusoro, nta kintu na kimwe nkeneye, sinsinziriye, sinsinziriye, sinshaka gupfa bituje" byambutse muburyo bwa "mwiza, Gukora, inzoga zihujwe, ubuzima ni bwiza, ibintu byose bizaba byiza. " Ndakomeza kuvura.