Vuba aha, twasohoye ibitekerezo byumwanditsi wacu Ella Derzayi kubishoboka niba bishoboka gukura umwana ntabwo ari neurotic. Irashobora! Ariko uko byagenda bite - kuvuga psychotherapiste Adrian Izh. Mu bwoko bw "Inama mbi".
Dufate ko ufite umwana, kandi urashaka ko ari mubi wenyine. Byabaye. Arakuzamura. Kandi ukeneye amabwiriza uburyo bwo kwangiza ubuzima - rimwe na rimwe.Siyanse ije gufasha - abashakashatsi babarirwa mu magana bafashwe ngo batuha akazi. Mu iterambere ry'ingamba, nakoresheje ubushakashatsi bw'abanyeshuri bo muri Laura Weiss na Schwartz Conrad (2005), abana ba Kaisa Annola na Jari Eric Melen (2005), ubushakashatsi bwa kochansk na we Abo mukorana (2000, 2006), kimwe no gusuzuma uburyo burenze 50 ubushakashatsi bugezweho bwimiterere ya Endrew Collins na bagenzi be (2000).
Kandi kubuzima busanzwe burambiranye bashaka abana babo ibyiza, ubuzima no gutsinda, amaherezo tuzabwira uburyo ubwoko bwo kugenzura buganisha ku bisubizo byiza. Kuvuga, gukoresha inshuro ebyiri - udukoko nyako twige uburyo nta rubanza rutagomba gukorwa, hanyuma, niba bidahagije, ibi ntibihagije, uyu munwa) azanezezwa no kwishimira.
Rero, hari ubwoko bubiri bwo kugenzura, bufite umubare munini, uzana ubuzima bwumwana wawe - ubushishozi bwumujinya no mu bushishozi bukabije.
Igenzura rya Ninja
Inzira yambere yoroshye cyane: Urabona ko udafite umwana. Genda nawe, erega ... hafi, nkigisimba muri parike - usige ibiryo n'imyambaro ahantu hagaragara. Ntukavugane na we, ntukajye mu masomo, ntukajye mu nama y'ababyeyi, ntukicuza igihe yakubitaga, ntukahuze iyo ari yo yose nta kibazo na kimwe, va mu nzu imwe n'imyaka imwe Kandi igihe icyo aricyo cyose - n'imyambaro ahantu hagaragara. Ibyago bimwe. Niba yaraguhaye - kora atitayeho kandi na Lenza. Kandi, byanze bikunze, ntabwo ako kanya. Bitinde bitebuke azarambirwa, kandi azabitabira inyuma. Nibyiza hamwe nibitekerezo byose muri rusange kwitwaza nkaho utibuka uwo ari we, nuburyo yari hano.
Iyi ni inzira igaragara, yujuje ubuziranenge. Abana, bafite uburezi nk'ubwo, ntukizere umuntu uwo ari we wese, werekane ibisubizo byo hasi ku mikorere y'amasomo, bikunda gufata ibiyobyabwenge no kunywa byinshi, byoroshye kugwa mu tsinda, ibigo bibi, umubano utunzwe. N'abagizi ba nabi bahinduka - hamwe na birashoboka cyane. Uratekereza, kugirango rero ubashe no guhinga agatsiko nyako! Nubwo babagize amahirwe, kandi bashoboye gusohoka mumyaka makumyabiri n'itanu - ntakintu kibi. Ibyo ari byo byose, bazagira neurose, kwiheba, kwihesha agaciro no kwiyubaha cyane no gushaka guhungabanya imvururu. Nibyiza, kumva ko badakeneye umuntu. Muri rusange, gutsinda.
Igenzura rya Kajugujugu
Uburyo bwa kabiri bufite ubushobozi bwigitugu. Mbere ya byose, psychologiya. Ni ngombwa cyane kuvuga icyarimwe umwana ufite igihano gito, ntakintu gishobora. Kugira ngo ashimangire ko utari kumwe, ntaziga amasomo, ntabwo azaza mu kigo, ntazarongora, ntazarongora), kandi niba afite ibyago. Nkuko umwe mu mukiriya wanjye yaravuze ati: "Mama ni batman, kandi azansanga ahantu hose."
Ababyeyi nk'abo na bo bitwa ababyeyi ba kajugujugu - kuko, nubwo bwo guhisha gute, ibishoboka byose nabyo bizabaho, hamwe na shoal yawe yose. Umubyeyi nkuyu agomba kuba hose aho umwana ari. Ihitamo ryiza ntabwo ari ukubireka mubikorwa byangiritse na gato, ariko niba harakenewe cyane - urashobora kugenda nkumurezi mu cyinko na mwarimu mwishuri. Nibyiza, cyangwa byibuze isuku. Ariko iyi ni umunyabwenge wubwenge. Izi ibintu byose kuri buri wese, kandi kuri uru rubanza, bizazana amazi meza. Muri icyo gihe, ni ngombwa, birumvikana ko kudasaba uburyo umwana yumva cyangwa ibyo ashaka, - uri umubyeyi, urumva neza. Ibiganiro bigomba kubakwa muburyo bwo kugenzura no kugenzura: icyo akeneye gukora mugihe, aho nigice gikwiye, gihagaze, uhagaze. Nta rubanza udashishikajwe no kubona igitekerezo cy'umwana. Yashinze, ntabwo ari igitekerezo.
Birumvikana ko ibi, birambiwe uburezi kuruta ubwa mbere, ariko ibisubizo nabyo ni byiza - aba bana ntibazi gukorana nabakunzi, kuburyo birashoboka cyane ko bidahuye nitsinda iryo ariryo ryose, ntukarongore ( Niba kandi barongora batatsinzwe), ariko bafite ibibazo bikomeye byo kwiga, ntibibuka ibishya, abahungu - hamwe nabakobwa banywa kandi bafata ibiyobyabwenge, nabakobwa - bafite ikibazo cyo kwiheba no guhungabanya indwara. Ariko, abahungu nabo bababaye, bike gusa.
Igenzura ryingirakamaro
Ni ubuhe bwoko bwo kugenzura ari ingirakamaro? Hariho babiri muribo, hamwe nuburyo bwiza - iyo bajyanye.
Ubwoko bwa mbere bwo kugenzura bwubatswe kuri Inyungu nziza . Nuburyo bushishikajwe numwana gusa, kandi bamushimira gutera imbere - ubu kandi ni ubwoko bwo kugenzura. Ibibazo byoroshye "Washimishijwe?", "Wabishakaga?" Uyu munsi, wakoze iki ku ishuri? "," Mbega indabyo nziza! " - Fasha cyane kandi umenye ubuzima bwumwana, kandi ushireho kumva ko akeneye ko akozwe neza kandi ikintu gishobora. Inzira imwe yigisha umwana gushimishwa hafi, yigisha impuhwe, impuhwe, inkunga, imufasha kumenyera neza ikipe, gushiraho umubano winshuti, ushimishwa n'ikintu gishya.
Icya kabiri - isano . Umwana akeneye imiterere, gahunda, algorithms ashobora gukora. Nibyiza niba yitabiriye iterambere ryabo, ariko we ubwe arazana nabo. Kandi inzego nkizo zigomba guhinduka bihagije, ziva mu mutungo wumwana ugahinduka mugihe runaka. Dushyigikiye rero umwana, turabyiga kwigenga kandi bihamye. Ikora inshingano kubikorwa bye, yigisha "hari inzovu mubice" - gukemura ibibazo.
Abana kuva mumiryango aho ubwo bwoko bubiri bwo kugenzura bukoreshwa burarwana ningaruka zamasosiyete, inzoga n'ibiyobyabwenge n'ibiyobyabwenge biri hafi, nubwo nta babyeyi bari hafi, nubwo nta babyeyi bafite, bavuga neza ingaruka nziza z'itsinda - nka Icyifuzo cyo kwishora mubikorwa bya siyansi, kurugero. Byinshi cyane bikunze kugongana no kwiheba, neurose no guhungabanya ibibazo. Noneho, niba ushaka abana bawe - ubu uzi icyo gukora.
Igishimishije, ni iki kindi gutesha imitekerereze? Soma! Nigute ushobora kwishima - Ibyifuzo bya Psychogukake kugirango wishimire - ibyifuzo kuri psychotherapistasm kugirango umwana akeneye se? Ukurikije imitekerereze ya psychotherapiste, niba warakunze "atari muri iyo"? Ibyifuzo bya psychotherapiste