Hamwe no gutangira ikibazo mumibanire yumuryango, benshi batangira kubaka gahunda yo gutandukana, batagerageje kurokora ishyingiranwa. Ariko, gutandukana ni intambwe ikomeye, kandi bigomba gukorwa buhoro, byitonze kandi bikonje cyane "kuri" na "kurwanya". Gushyingirwa ni ubufatanye bw'abantu babiri batandukanye, kandi ingorane zigaragara - kamere. Kugirango utatwitse ibiraro, ariko kumva niba gutandukana bikenewe rwose, gusa usubize ibibazo 9.
1. Nkeneye rwose gutandukana cyangwa nkeneye umubano utandukanye nuwo twashakanye?
Hariho itandukaniro rinini hagati yubukwe bwabababaye no gushyingirwa, bitazakiza ikintu icyo aricyo cyose. Abashakanye bakunze kuza mumitekerereze bafite ibibazo kandi badashobora gukemura nta mfashanyo. Niba mubukwe bwawe udahuje ikintu mubucuti ubwabwo, ariko icyarimwe umuntu wimihanda kandi ushaka kubana na we, ugomba gukora kumakosa hanyuma uganire kuri buri gice hamwe na kimwe cya kabiri. Wibuke, gutandukana ni urugero rukabije.2. Wakongereye ubufasha kubahanga kandi bagerageza gukora mubucuti?
Kubwamahirwe, ubuvuzi bwumuryango ntabwo buri gihe butanga ibisubizo byifuzwa, ariko nubwo inzobere idashobora gufasha - iyi ntabwo arimpamvu yo kumanura amaboko. Birashoboka ko inzobere zatoranijwe atari ubumenyi nubuhanga bihagije kugirango bigufashe - urashobora kugerageza guhitamo indi mychotherapiste. Byongeye kandi, buri wese muri bo afite tekiniki yacyo. Kandi, nkuko, niba umuhanga avuga ko ubukwe budashobora gukizwa - rwose burahinduka.
Ariko, no kuva mucyitegererezo cya mbere cyicyiciro ntigikwiye gutegereza ibikorwa byubumaji - imikorere yibikorwa bye mugihe runaka biterwa nawe. Abafatanyabikorwa bombi bagomba gufungura kandi biteguye guhinduka. Ubukwe bufite amahirwe yose yo kugarura ari uko abafatanyabikorwa ubwabo bifuza kubana no guhura n'ibyiyumvo bishyushye.
3. Cyangwa birashoboka ko guhangayikishwa cyane twaguye vuba aha?
Ibizamini bikomeye ningorane bitinde bitebuke cyangwa nyuma yaje no muri babiri bishimye cyane. Akomeye kandi utanga ibisobanuro, ibibazo byamafaranga, gutakaza akazi kamwe mubafatanyabikorwa, ibibazo byo gusama, nibindi. Iyo ibi bivutse, ibyago byo gutandukana biriyongera cyane. Niba ubuzima bwawe bwuzuyemo imihangayiko, nubwo ibibazo bito mumibanire bizaba bisa nibinini kandi bidasubirwaho - mu guhangayikishwa no gutekereza mubwenge.Kubwibyo, niba ibitekerezo byatandukanijwe byasuwe no kuhagera - ntukihutire gufata icyemezo, reka wumve ibibazo, hanyuma ushimire uko umutwe ukonje. Byongeye kandi, uri itsinda, kandi mu itsinda kugirango uhangane nibibazo byoroshye cyane.
4. Nzi icyaha cyanjye?
Mu makimbirane ayo ari yo yose, bombi bagomba kuryozwa bombi, kandi ntacyo bitwaye cyane, kimwe, umufatanyabikorwa yitwara nuburyo abo ubwabo. Nta nzira nziza kandi nziza rwose, cyane cyane mubucuti. Biragoye gusuzuma ibikorwa byawe - birashoboka ko uri ahantu runaka unengwa, gusuzugura, ntukagumane ijambo rivuka, hanyuma tukagira ibibazo, hanyuma tukababazwa no kutitaho abafatanyabikorwa, ibyo bidakeka ko ari byose.
Menya icyaha cyawe - ntibisobanura kwishinja ibibazo byose. Ibi bivuze, gufata inshingano kumagambo yawe, ibikorwa byawe, hamwe numufatanyabikorwa bigomba kuba nyirabayazana wonyine. Gusobanukirwa aho hakozwe ikosa, urashobora kubaka gahunda y'ibikorwa yo gukosora ibintu.
5. Ubu bukwe bwabanje kuba amakosa, cyangwa inzira yagize ibibazo?
Hariho imanza mugihe abashakanye binjira mubukwe batabanje kuba batiteguye umubano wumuryango, nabo ubwabo ntibabyumva. Kubera iyo mpamvu, ibibazo byabo bivuka hafi yubuzima bwumuryango. Ibi bikunze kubaho mugihe ubumwe bwanditswe vuba kandi byombi ntabwo bwabonye umwanya wo kwiga uwo mufatanyabikorwa bihagije. Cyangwa, iyo gushyingirwa byakozwe kubera gutwita utateganijwe, igihe bene wabo bose bashimangiye ko byemewe n'amategeko. Niba aricyo kibazo cyawe, hanyuma ucikene gutandukana, gusa usobanukirwe gusa iri somo ryingenzi ejo hazaza kandi ugerageze kutarandukira rake imwe.Niba icyemezo cyo gushyingirwa cyakozwe mu buryo bushyize mu gaciro, nyuma y'umubano muremure kandi icyemezo nticyagize ingaruka ku bantu b'ishyaka rya gatatu, ubungubu, ukeneye gukora ku makosa, ukeneye gukora ku makosa, ongera ukemure inzira yawe yo kubaka umubano kandi Sobanukirwa ko bitari mumufatanyabikorwa "utari".
6. Niba impamvu yo gutandukana kwanjye mu mibonano mpuzabitsina ikennye, hari kugerageza gutunganya byose?
Gukemura ibibazo mubuzima bwimbitse, ntabwo ari ngombwa kuvugana ninzobere. Ibibazo by'ubyo gahunda byakemuwe neza hamwe nitabiriwe. Nkurubarurishamibare rugaragaza, abashakanye beza muriki kibazo, hazabaho ikintu kimeze nka cyonyine kandi nticyemewe kubandi. Mu ntangiriro yimibanire, imibonano mpuzabitsina igenda ihita iroroshye, ariko buri mwaka irushaho gushya - ariko biroroshye kubikosora.
Vugana na mugenzi wawe Mvugishije ukuri, umbwire ubigiranye amakenga ko utanyuzwe nibiza guhinduka. Umva. Kugirango ikiganiro kigere, ugomba kuba umwirondoro ushoboka, utashinja undi kandi ntunenga. Gutandukana kubera imibonano mpuzabitsina ikennye ntabwo arimpamvu igenda. Nyuma ya byose, kugirango uhindure muriki kibazo kandi ushireho igitsina zoroshye kuruta gushakisha ubugingo bugereranije.
7. Ibyo ntegereje mu rwego rw'ubuzima bw'umuryango n'uwo mwashakanye ntabwo barenga cyane?
Mugihe cyumukandida ugagura igihe, abashakanye barahuze cyane no gukundana, bisa nkaho bikomeza kubaho. Umugabo azatanga buri cyumweru kugirango atange indabyo, kuvuga ishimwe, impumuro muri parufe, kandi umugore azahora asukura isuku munzu no guteka ibiryo. Kandi ni ubuhe buryo bwo gutenguha mugihe ibintu byose biri hamwe nukuri kwa bitandukanye. Kandi byose kuko ubuzima buhuriweho butakiri umunsi mukuru wa buri munsi.Kwishyurwa uruhare rwayo mubusabane bwibiteganijwe ntabwo ari bike. Umugore arateganya ko na nyuma yo gushyingirwa, azashobora kubaka umwuga, ubwinshi bw'igicunga no kubaho kuri gahunda yayo. Mubyukuri, ni igice cyumunsi kugirango uhagarare kuri plabu, ukangurira isupu ukuboko kumwe, undi kugirango yigishe amasomo hamwe numwana, kandi azunguza igare n'umwana. Ntabwo bishoboka ko umuntu yiteze neza muri ubumwe bwubukwe.
Benshi ku nsanganyamatsiko yubukwe nabafatanyabikorwa ni ibyifuzo byinshi, birakwiye rero kureba uko umutwe umeze. Niba utiteguye igice cyurugo cyo kubana, noneho ushobora kuba utarakunzwe mbere yubukwe - ntabwo abantu bose bafite ububiko bwumuryango, kandi ntamuntu numwe ubishinja.
8. Kandi hari uwa gatatu?
Iyo gucika mu mibanire byavutse kubera ubugambanyi bumwe, gukinisha, imbuga zo gukundana - umuntu bigoye kubyumva aho nuburyo bwo gukomeza. Kandi ikintu cya mbere ugomba gusubiza - ntabwo cyari umufatanyabikorwa wumunyamuhemu kubwifuzo bwo "guhunga" mubibazo biri mubucuti? Kenshi cyane, hamwe no guhishurirwa nawe, igisubizo cyikibazo ni cyiza. Iyo ibibazo byinshi byo murugo bivuka mumuryango, kandi abashakanye bibagiwe uburyo buri rukundo, bisa nkaho umubano wagezeho. Kandi rero ndashaka urukundo n'amarangamutima y'urukundo ...
Umukunzi / umukunzi aragufasha kumva ko ukundana numwangavu, uri mu rugendo ku munsi, ategereje inama itaha. Ariko mbere yo gufata umwanzuro ku gutandukana kubera "urukundo" gishya birakwiye gusubiza amaso inyuma kumibare. Hafi 75% yimibanire "kuruhande" ntukure mubintu bikomeye. Akenshi, kuriganya ubwabyo bibaho nubwo nakunze undi muntu, ariko kubera inyota kubintu bishya. Ariko, birashoboka kubigeraho mubashakanye, gusa wohereza ingendo yimbere yuburyo bwurukundo.
9. Nkunda uwo twashakanye?
Urukundo ntirushima ko umubano uzateganijwe kuba 100%, ariko hariho amahirwe menshi. Niba uhuye numukunzi byibuze, ntugomba guterera umubano - gerageza kurwana gusa, kandi uzahora ufite umwanya wo kurimbura.