"Kuki watandukanije?" Ati: "Ndasaba kumenyera igihe cyanjye kirekire," "ntiyemeranijwe n'inyuguti." Ndibuka igihe bahuye. Afite intege nke ku mubiri unyuze mu ijosi ryimbitse ndetse no munsi y'ijipo ya mini ko yari ahumye amaso, aho yari abonye "imico ye ... kandi nyamara ... impamvu turi kumwe &
- Kuki wacitse? - Iki ni ikibazo kitagira amakenga. Twebwe, hamsters, umubano wihariye. Turi abakunzi beza. Urukundo rutugeraho, dufata imiterere ya Bizirarre, twe ... - Nkeneye igisubizo cyihariye ... - Yagerageje kumara mugihe tutagaburiwe igihe.
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- Battokashka, umugisha wo gutandukana ... - Kuki mukobwa wanjye? - Yego, hano, umuswa yari ... - Urabona, we, Duru Bene, yarashatse, kandi urane ...
Kubera iki none, twatandukanije?
Impamvu zishobora kwitwa ubwoko bwose: Gutakaza Icyizere, Ihohoterwa ritandukanye, Umubiri, Imibonano mpuzabitsina, Ubusinzi, Ibibazo byamafaranga, Ubuhemu, Etc.
Njye mbona, ibyavuzwe haruguru ntabwo aribyo bitera, ariko kwigaragaza, ingaruka zibyo bintu, niyo mpamvu nyazo.
Ubu ntituzafata imanza zubusabane abafatanyabikorwa basaba kandi bagenzura, bagasangira ibitekerezo byabagore, bahagarara ku mahame y'abanyamadini, bababazwa n'ibibazo bitandukanye ndetse no gushingwa bikomeye.
Tuzavuga ibisanzwe, ibisanzwe duhereye ku muntu ugereranyije, umubano w'abagabo n'abagore, turi kumwe nawe, igice kinini kandi ni.
Ubwa mbere, ibisubizo byose byumubano hagati yumugabo numugore ni ibisubizo bidasanzwe, byombi, numugore nishoramari (ibisubizo), tutitaye kubijyanye n'imbaraga.
Noneho, umugabo ntashaka kwihanganira ibitagira ubwenge, kandi umugore ntagishaka kubaha umugabo no kumutaho. Ibindi byose ni ingaruka gusa.
Nishimiye ko ibyo bintu bibeshya bishingiye ku bushake bwacu, ni ukuvuga ko umuntu areka kumva icyifuzo cyo gukomeza umubano. Hanze yacu izaryarya gupfa gusa nkibintu bidashoboka.
Byongeye kandi, dukunze kumena amategeko yibanze yumubano hagati yumugabo numugore ushobora kugaragariza ikintu nkiki: Niba umuntu ashaka kuba hafi yumugore, agomba kumurongora; Niba umugore ashaka kurongora, ntagomba kwanga umugabo we.
Ikintu cyihariye kiranga amategeko yose yubuzima ni uko bakora batisuye imyifatire yacu (amategeko): Niba twemera kubaho kwabo cyangwa tutabitekereza, tubona ko babaho cyangwa badatekereza, - Komeza gukora no kutugiraho ingaruka.
Byongeye kandi, dukunze kwibagirwa cyangwa tutazi na gato ko umugabo numugore yaremwe kuzuza undi, kandi ntibahanganye.
Benshi muritwe mu nkingi "umubano" ushobora kwandika kubuntu: "Nahoraga mbimenya." N'ubundi kandi, umubano wabo wubatswe ku mpamvu.
Benshi muritwe ntabwo twiteguye kandi ntidushaka umubano ushinzwe, badashaka "gukorera" ubwabo, impinduka. Benshi muritwe twemera amahitamo mugihe turi mubitekerezo byahindutse dushyigikiye imisemburo, mugihe udakeneye gukora ibishoboka byose, kugirango ukore imbaraga, kuko muri iyi leta "perpeneum yubu ubwenge" abantu Mugirena kandi rero nkumubano wishimishe.
Ntabwo twiteguye ubuzima nyabwo kandi tukimara gucika intege, "tumenya" ko umudamu wumutima wacu asanzwe, hanyuma umuswa wumutima wacu, kandi usibye, kandi usibye , "Ihene".
Umugore: - Naguhaye imyaka myiza y'ubuzima bwanjye! UMUGABO: - Subiza inyuma, ntabwo narayikoresheje!
Imitima yacu itandukanijwe, hagati yacu ikura urukuta kandi duhatirwa kumasanure twumva.
Twibagiwe ko abagabo n'abagore batandukanye, baravuga ko no mu mibumbe itandukanye.
Umugore: - Wowe, bantu, igitsina gusa kandi ukeneye, natwe, abagore, ukeneye kwitabwaho ... UMUGABO: - Icyitonderwa! Noneho hazabaho igitsina!
Ntabwo dutunganye, ariko dushobora kutubera byose biterwa no kurokora umubano.
Ubwa mbere, ugomba guhitamo imbere nawe hamwe nuwo bashakanye (yewe), ubumwe bwawe "ni inyangamugayo kandi ni inyangamugayo!"
Icya kabiri, mugitangira, ugomba kwemeranya ko ibintu byose bigomba kuganirwaho no guhishura. Ingorane n'ibyishimo bigomba gukemuka kugirango bisubire hamwe.
Icya gatatu, umubano ugomba kuba byemewe: Ugomba kurongorwa. Mu buhungiro, umugore ni "probe", kimwe no mu ishami rya parufe, banahumye ngo bafate umwanzuro, "fata cyangwa utafata". Mu buhungiro, ni umugore ufite intege nke cyane. Kugirango uzigame hamwe nimiterere nzongeraho ko umugabo yibasiwe cyane mubukwe - dufite rero mumuryango. Ariko iyi ntabwo arimpamvu ...
Icya kane, "Urashaka umubano ukomeye, noneho ubanze umenye, hanyuma ujye kuryama.
Abantu bafite ubwenge cyane bazishimira imitungo yo hejuru kuruta igitsina, kubabwira bafite ibitekerezo byateye imbere yumuntu wundi mibonano mpuzabitsina.
Nubwenge bwo kuryamana rwose. Nk'uko Rabb ya Diana, umuganga wa filozofiya muri psychologiya ya mu mitekerereze mibi, ubwonko ni umubiri munini. Porofeseri Jesffrey Miller avuga ko ibiranga ururimi, urwenya n'ubwenge byahindutse mu mibonano mpuzabitsina byombi, kuko byakundaga imibonano mpuzabitsina kubitsina byombi.
Ibyishimo byimibonano mpuzabitsina ni bitandukanye cyane kuburyo bidasobanura amagambo. Ubushobozi bushimishije twe, abantu, dufite, nubushobozi bwacu bwo gutekereza, gutekereza no kumva.
Kubwibyo, ntukihutira kuryama, soma ibihimbano, wongere ubwenge bwawe, uhindure ingufu zawe, uhindure ingufu zawe zishingiye ku mibonano mpuzabitsina kandi uyayobore kugirango ugere muri siporo, siyanse, umuziki, ibiryo, nibindi. Soma ibyo sogokuru freud sublimlimation yitwa.
None se kuki tubitandukanya?
Twebwe, muri twe cyane, ntabwo dusakuza rwose kandi tugakomeza umubano. Turashyirwaho rwose kuri TV yacu kandi twahoze twuzuyemo imbaraga zoroshye, ni ukuvuga igitsina. Ubumenyi bwiza cyane bwubugingo. Kandi dutangiye kumenya umubiri wundi, tutimuye ubugingo.
Umubano wubatswe kumarangamutima (kugira amarangamutima yacyo gusa) birateganijwe kurimbuka. By the was, Porofeseri wa psychologiya Lisa Feldman Barret avuga ko amarangamutima - ibi nibyo twiyemerera, ntabwo ari kimwe, aho tutashobora kujya ahantu hose.
Ibintu byose biri mumaboko yacu, mububasha bwacu. Ndetse n'ibyifuzo twiyemerera.