Shakisha nyuma ya saa sita buri mugore arota. Bamwe bakoresha imyaka myinshi, bategereje "igikomangoma" cyinzozi zabo: nziza, ubwenge, ubwenge, nibindi. Ariko bibaho ko uwatoranijwe yari amaze gushyingirwa rimwe. Byongeye kandi, abana bagumye mu bashakanye ba mbere (cyangwa benshi).
Kubaka umubano numuntu-Data ntabwo byoroshye. N'ubundi kandi, uretse we, umugore agomba gutondekanya hamwe n'umwana we, ndetse rimwe na rimwe n'umugore we.
Kwinjira mubusabane, uhita ukeneye gusubiza mubyukuri ibibazo bimwe byingenzi. Urashobora gukunda umwana wundi? Witeguye kuza muburyo bwukuntu uwahisemo azafata igice cyicyumweru hamwe nibiruhuko hamwe nabana babo utari kumwe nawe? Niki witeguye gutamba muriyi sano? N'icyo kizana kuri bo? Ni ngombwa kwirinda amakosa nyamukuru abagore bemera mubihe nkibi. Ibi byose no kuganira.
Ubwa mbere ugomba kumenya ko umuntu wahisemo atazaba amasaha makumyabiri nane kumunsi ni uwawe gusa. Afite inshingano zimwe na zimwe za Data, ari we, nk'umuntu ufite inshingano kandi akunda abana be, agomba gusohoza. Gutandukana na nyina wumwana ntibisobanura ko umugabo ari wenyine. Kugira inshingano kubana babo kandi kubitaho, aracyategekwa. Niba kandi uwatoranijwe aje muri ubu buryo, iranga gusa muburyo bwiza bwo kureba. Ikibazo niki niba witeguye gufata ibintu nkibi?
Niba igisubizo ari kibi, ntabwo cyumvikana gukomeza umubano. Uzaba uhora uhangayitse mugihe umugabo wawe azamarana nawe. Cyangwa gerageza kwangiza umubano we nabana kugirango uhagarike inama zisa (ikibabaje, imyitwarire nkiyi irasanzwe). Imyambarire muri rusange irababaje kuri buri wese.
Niba utitiranya ko ugomba gusangiraga umugabo hamwe nabana be, noneho urashobora kwitega ibindi "imitego". Ndetse n'abahatsi badashaka kumenyekanisha vuba na bene wabo. Abafite abana baturutse mubukwe bwabanje, muri rusange batinda umwanya muto wo gukundana igihe kitazwi. Hashobora kubaho impamvu nyinshi zibigenewe.
Ibisanzwe - ubwoba bwo kubabaza abana babo. Nubwo abana batanye, abana benshi bemeza ko papa na mama bazakomeza kubana. Ukeneye gutegereza. Niba kandi umugore mushya agaragara mubuzima bwa se, ubwo nzozi ntabwo riteganijwe gusohora. Ni gake cyane hagati yumugore mushya nabana b'umugabo ukomoka mu ishyingiranwa ryabanje kubona umubano winshuti. Mubisanzwe ibintu byose bibaho neza. No kwirinda ibintu nk'ibyo, umugabo mbere yo gusubika nyuma yo gukundana. Kuberako yumva - hazabaho ibibazo byinshi biri inyuma yibi.
Indi mpamvu yo kudashaka kumenyera umugore hamwe nabana babo nuko umugabo atazi neza uburemere nigihe cyumuntu ukura. Amaze gupfa. Noneho arashaka kumenya neza ijana ku ijana, ntabwo yibeshye. Kandi kugeza ubu mbona ibisobanuro kugirango tumenye umugore hamwe nabana - mu buryo butunguranye ntacyo bizabaho? Kandi angahe azemeza neza ko uburyo bwo guhitamo kwe butazwi.
Baho utegereje igihe wahisemo hamwe nabana be "bakuze" guhura nawe, birashoboka ko atari buri mugore. Kuba wihishe bene wabo, ntabwo abantu bose bakunda. Ufite kwihangana bihagije kugirango utegereze gukundana nabana bawe b'abagabo?
Ibikoresho bigize akamaro ni ngombwa mubucuti ubwo aribwo bwose - nubwo umuntu avuze ko atari byo. Mugihe winjiye mubucuti numuntu ufite abana, ugomba kumva icyo gice cyinjiza kizajya kubirimo. Kandi ibi bivuze ko resitora na cafe, impano zihenze n'indabyo bihendutse, kimwe nibice byubukerarugendo bizakenerwa, nibiba ngombwa, bitangwa amafaranga yakoreshejwe kubyo abana bakeneye. Nibyo, hamwe ningengo yimari isanzwe ya buri kwezi, hamwe no kubaho hamwe, izaba irimo ingingo ukoresheje amafaranga yahoze. Birashoboka ko ikintu kigomba kugarukira - ntabwo ari kure yo gutuma abagore benshi. Niba kandi umuryango mushya uzagaragara mumuryango mushya, uzakenera kandi amafaranga yimari, ikintu cyimikorere kizonguka gikarishye.
Ikibazo cyungutse niba hazabaho umwanya wumwana usanzwe mumibanire yawe, ugomba kwita cyane. Niba uri, kandi uwahisemo yahiye uburemere bwose bwimibanire ndetse yiteguye kubasuzugura byemewe n'amategeko, ni byiza kwiga mbere, kandi niba umuntu ashaka ko abana benshi. Kenshi cyane igisubizo cyiki kibazo ni bibi. Umugabo, amenye mubukwe bwabanje, ko umwana atari igikinisho, ntashobora gushaka gushaka abaragwa. Niba kandi abatoranijwe barota umuryango munini hamwe nabana, hazabaho amakimbirane yinyungu. Kubwibyo, ikibazo nkicyo kijyanye nabana kizaza cyifuzwa gusohora igihe cyose bishoboka.
Niba ibihe byose byabanjirije ibyo, icyo aricyo kintu cyingenzi nukubasha guhura nabana kandi, wenda nuwahoze ari umugore. Niba abana ari bato cyane, noneho humva inshuti nabo kuruta ingimbi. Ariko nyina ubusanzwe yometse ku bana bato. Ariko ntabwo buri gihe nshoboye gushiraho umubano numugore. Niba abagore bombi bashizweho batabogamye - nibyiza. Bitabaye ibyo, verisiyo nziza yitumanaho ifite ikinyabupfura, ariko ijwi ryemewe. Kandi ntukitotombera umugabo kugirango agere ku bwumvikane numugore we. Abagabo ntibakunda kwivanga mumakimbirane yabagore. Kugufasha, ntazashobora kugufasha. Ariko bizabona ubwawe ko udashobora kubona uburyo bwiza bwigihe.
Shakisha kuva mu minsi ya mbere yo gukundana ururimi rusanzwe hamwe nabana bagabo bawe biragoye cyane. Ibi bizasaba umwanya munini no kwihangana, ubushobozi bwo kurenganya ibibazo kandi byumvikana, kimwe nindi mico myinshi yumugore uzi ubwenge ushobora gukomeza guhumurizwa no gutuza munzu. Amakosa n'ingorane muriyi nzira ntibishobora kwirindwa. Ariko niba ibintu byose birinda byose, ibihembo bizaba umuryango munini kandi winshuti. Kandi ntiwumve, umugabo wakundaga kuri wegereje.
Ibyavuzwe haruguru birakurikizwa mu manza iyo abana batabana na nyina, ahubwo ni kumwe na se. Itandukaniro gusa nuko utagomba kuvugana nuwahoze ari umugore wawe. Ariko, gufata icyemezo cyo kubana, uzahita ugomba kugerageza uruhare rwa nyir'ubutaka hanyuma ugatangira kwita ku isaha atari uw'uko wahisemo gusa, ahubwo no ku bana be.
Hariho igitekerezo cyoroshye kubaka umubano numuntu ukuze wigeze kuba mubukwe kuruta abatarigeze bashyingirwa. Byemezwa ko umuntu yigeze kuba aryoheye kandi inenge mubuzima bwumuryango ubuzima azamenya kwirinda amakosa mugihe kizaza. Kandi umuntu ukuze afite imico yiganje, udafite uburambe nkubwo, bizagorana kubaka umubano ukomeye. Kandi hano kunanirwa kutirinda. Ariko ntabwo byose bidashidikanywaho. Ibintu bibi byubukwe, byashizweho rimwe, birashobora gusubiramo umuntu rimwe na rimwe. Nibyo, ugasanga ubwumvikane hamwe nabantu kuva "ubuzima bwa nyuma" bwumugabo biragoye. Rwose urashobora kuvuga ikintu kimwe gusa. Guhitamo umubano numuntu ufite abana, ugomba kuba witeguye guhuza imbaraga nyinshi kugirango ubakize kuruta guhambira hamwe na Bachelor.