Asychologist amasuta ndipo katswiri wazamisala wa munthu wathanzi: Kodi pali kusiyana kotani

Anonim

PS.

Funso losangalatsa kwambiri lonena za akatswiri azamisala ndi kuti: "Kodi ndimotani momwe mungasankhire katswiri wazambiri?" Kupatula apo, kudalira zinsinsi zawo ndi malingaliro awo a aliyense. M'malo mwake, pali mpanda wa katswiri, mutha kusankha ngati katswiri wina aliyense (kapena doads mu malo ogulitsira pa intaneti) - ndiye kuti, malinga ndi ndemanga.

Columnist wathu, psychoteherapist Adrian izh, adatigawana nafe chotengera kafukufuku weniweni wa kasitomala pa anzawo. Malinga ndi ndemanga izi, monga momwe tikuganizira, ndizodziwikiratu: kwa omwe ndikoyenera kupita, ndipo ndibwino kuti mupite kumbali ndi tifito.

Mayankho Oipa

Anathetsa gawoli maola angapo asanayambe, kuti amulepheretse kukwiya. Quote: "Simungathe kundikwiyira." Pambuyo pa nkhokwe ya kasitomala, sindinamvetsetse zomwe ndidachita.

Munthu amene wakhala mphindi 50, analankhula ndi ine kutsuka mawu. Pamapeto pa zokambirana, nditadzuka ndikupita pakhomo (ndimafuna kufunsa mwamuna wake kuti apite kukalipira) patsogolo pa zochitika mokweza: "Ndipo ndani adzalipira ndalama ?!"

Anaperekanso mgwirizano wamalonda wokhudzana ndi ntchito yanga, anali wolimbikira, nakakamiza kuti ndi kukula kwa zinthu zanga, mavuto onse omwe ndidawakonzera.

Tinali ndi mikangano yotseguka. Othandizira akuti sindinkayesa zokwanira, chifukwa kulibe zotsatira. Zotsatira zake, idandiwuza mokweza ine pamaso pa gulu lonselo ndikundimenya ndikulira kwa omvera.

Makhalidwe

Anapereka ntchito zawo kwa mkhalapakati mu zinthu komwe mmodzi wa makolo adachotsa mwana wina. Anatenga mphatso kuchokera kumaphwando amodzi, naphwanya malire a phwando lachiwiri, adagwirizana ndi amphamvu panthawi yomwe mwakasulirako, adadzipangitsa yekha chiweruziro chachiwiri komanso chachiwiri.

Ndatsutsidwa komanso kuwunika koipa kwa zochita zanga ndi zochita zanga. Sindimasiyira izi chifukwa chosakonda. Chosangalatsa nkhani yokhala ndi mitengo: "Ngati mukuganiza kuti mutha kulipira zambiri, ndiye kuti muyenera kulipira zambiri." "Simukuyamikira psychotherapy, chifukwa tikulipira ndalama." "Mtengo wokwera, umayikidwanso." Kupanga kumeneku kunafotokozedwa motere: "Ndachedwa gawo, chifukwa mwachedwa", chifukwa sindikufuna kuti ndipite kwa inu, chifukwa Mwachedwa. " Ndikuvomereza kuti kuchedwa kunachitika, komwe ndimapepesa nthawi zonse. Koma ngati kasitomala wapitayo adachedwa, ndidandipepesa.

Tsambali

Wolemba Mfundo komanso zadziko lapansi, zikunenepa kwambiri paukwati wachikhalidwe. Adakanidwa ndipo sanavomereze malingaliro a kasitomala, nakanikizidwa kuti: "Chabwino, kuti simumakonda munthu uyu, amayang'ana zabwino, ndi pomwe mungapeze m'badwo wanu?"

Nditazindikira kuti mafunso akuluakuluwa, monga kuchuluka kwa kudzidalira, sikungatheke kukhala ndi phunziro limodzi, koma amafunikira phunziroli mokwanira, ndipo sindimakhutira ndi ntchito yachiwiri yomwe adawononga kale, wazakatswiri wazachiwiri adayankha : "Chabwino, munaganiza zosiya gululi - sindingathe kuzikhudza."

Adadandaula kuti odwala ena "amagwiritsa ntchito." Kwa funso, kaya kuyang'aniridwa, mokwiya kumayambitsa kuti "yasamuka kale, ndikukonzedwanso ndi gawo lotere lomwe likuyang'aniridwa ndi iye."

Mukafika nthawi yodziwika, muyenera kudikirira nthawi yayitali mpaka kumaliza kulandira ndi kasitomala wapitawa, kuyambira mphindi 30 mpaka theka mpaka theka ndi theka. Ndipo kufunsa kwanu kumatha kufikira maola awiri, awiri ndi theka m'malo mwa ola limodzi. Paphwando pali zambiri za inu ndipo ndizovuta kwambiri kupha, pafupifupi 80% ya nthawi yomwe imatengera kuti mumvere nkhani yokhudza moyo wake. Amathanso kulankhula kwa nthawi yayitali pafoni. Analimbikira kuyendera enawo kuwaphunzitsa malingaliro omwe anali okhudzana ndi vuto langali. Nditha kugawa makhadi athu azamalonda kwa makasitomala, kuti ndikhalepo kuti wina azimubwelera pa khadi iyi, makasitomala amatha kulandira kuchotsera. Zotsatira zake, pofunsidwa kwanga kanagwira ntchito, kumene ndinachita ndi mwana wake wamkazi, zomwe panthawiyo ndinali mkangano. Atamaliza, anandiuza kuti sanawone polankhulananso. Zikuwoneka kwa ine kuti tawonera malire ndi ine tidapachika kwambiri kuchokera kwa iye kuti sindingathe kuchira.

Ndemanga Zabwino

Tsas

Wothandiza kwambiri komanso wosakhazikika. Anathandiziradi kudziwa ma hope ena. Ndinalandila chithandizo chochuluka, ndipo ndinasintha china m'moyo. Zowona zinali zovuta kwambiri, koma sindinayesenso kuyesa kugwira ntchito musanayambe kugwira ntchito.

Ndimachita masewera olimbitsa thupi kuti azitha kutentha. Msonkhano uliwonse, ngakhale ndi zokumana nazo zanga zambiri, kuthandizira kumverera kuti sasamala kuti zinali zofunika kwa iye: ndimanunkhiza kapena ayi. Mosamala, ndandigwiritsa ntchito mosamala pamaphunziro anga opweteka. Adathandizira kuthetsa mikangano yambiri m'mutu mwanga.

Panthawi imeneyi, kulibwino ndiphunzire, kuphunzira kuyamikiridwa kwambiri komanso kumvetsera thupi langa. Ndinasiya kuda nkhawa ku Trivia ndikudziwulula, zinakhala ndi chidaliro pa luso lanu. Ndikuphunzirabe kudzidalira komanso chifukwa cha chithandizo chamankhwala chomwe ndidapanga gawo lalikulu motere. Mwamwayi, kuukira kochititsa mantha kunabwera, psychosamatitics zikutha. Ndimamwetulira komanso sindimaopa zam'tsogolo. Wothandizira masewera olimbitsa thupi kwambiri, amabweretsa zokambirana ndipo nthawi zonse zimamvetsera kumangomvera.

Masalimo

Wothandizirayo anandithandiza kukhala ndi moyo wovuta kwambiri. Chifukwa cha ntchito yake ya luso ndi malingaliro, malingaliro ndi zokumana nazo, ndinatha kusankha m'moyo wanga ndipo ndinazindikira zomwe ndikufuna kukhala m'moyo wanga. Anandithandiza kuthana ndi kukana kwanga. Anandipatsa thandizo kumeneku kuti sindingathe kupita kulikonse ndipo popanda zomwe ndinalimbikira kuthana ndi zochitika m'moyo wanga. Popeza tinkagwira ntchito zambiri za psychosomatics, ndinazindikira kuti zinali bwino kumva thupi langa. Anayamba kumumvera ndi kumverera kwake.

Ndinali mu mankhwala kwa zaka 5. Ndi othandizira ndinapeza ambiri omwe ndimapeza zinthu zazikulu komanso zazing'onoting'ono zokhudzana ndi ineyo, ndizosangalatsa komanso osati kwambiri. Zachidziwikire, pakapita nthawi yopeza zinthu zotsala, ankandikonda momwe wothandizira amathandizira, kuposa momwe ndimayenera kuvomereza osasangalatsa. Khalidwe lalikulu ndi nzeru zenizeni. Ndiye kuti ulemu kwa iye si luso osati kuyesetsa, koma njira yokhalira. Sindinena zaukadaulo monga zowonekera kwambiri.

PS2.

Wophunzitsa wanga amandigwira bwino, palibe kuphwanya, chimodzimodzi ndi ziyeneretso, maphunziro, luso. Zitakhala kuti china chake, zomwe ndanena, monga ndadziwa kale tsopano (ndiye sindimadziwa), chinali kuphwanya malamulowo. Anandimvera, ndipo pamene ndinayamba kufunsa mafunso, choyamba ndinali wodekha komanso wofotokozedwa bwino kuti ndi osazindikira ndipo sangathe kuchita izi pazifukwa zotere (zomwe zafotokozedwa kale pazomwe zinachitika). Kenako adalongosola njira zina, kenako adafunsidwa ndikumvera kuti ndikuganiza izi, pokhudzana ndi mikhalidwe yotere.

Gawo lirilonse limadutsa "Frill solid", koma pofika kumapeto ndinabwezeretsedwa. Mu "dissamble" State, sindinandisiye ine. Kuyitanidwa kwa maudindo a moyo (mfundo, zikhulupiriro) zinalipo, koma ntchitoyi sinasokoneze.

Ndimasamala, utola, ndikuthandizira othandizira a Gestolt. Eya, imagwira ntchito ndipo imakhala ndi moyo, ndipo pa Skype. Timagwira naye pafupifupi chaka chimodzi, zotsatira zake ndizodabwitsa, ndikubadwanso, banjali ndi losangalala.

Wothokoza kwambiri kwa katswiri wake wazaka pafupifupi 1.5 zothandizira, omwe amasamalira, zomwe sizinangondilola kuti ndibweretse zowawa, kuti ndikwaniritse zowawa zokwanira (zaka zambiri) zomwe ndingayesere Inemwini, mwina ndikufuna. Ndipo pezani nokha za mphamvu zankhondo ndi zothandizira zamkati.

Ndili ndi wokhoza kwambiri, wondithandiza kwambiri, woleza mtima, amagwira ntchito yosangalatsa. Inde, kupita patsogolo ndikwabwino komanso koonekeratu. Kuchokera ku Boma "Puri Labwino, ndikugona mu mluza, sindikufuna kugona, sindimagona, ndikufuna kufa, ndikupita ku mkhalidwe wa" zabwino, Zovuta, ndi mowa womangika, moyo ndi wokongola, zonse zikhala bwino. " Ndimapitiliza mankhwala.

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