Nws tsis yog qhov tseeb tias qhov teeb meem zoo yuav tsis raug hu. Peb tus kheej yog tsim cov ntaub ntawv no, koj pe nws, thiab ua ntu zus thiab nyiam ua qhov no. Thiab feem ntau peb feem ntau mus rau tus kws tshaj lij ntawm cov neeg ua haujlwm 6 xyoo tom qab nws yuav tau kho tam sim no ...
Yog li hais tias John Gottman, tus kws tshaj lij tshwj xeeb tshwj xeeb hauv kev kho ntawm cov txij nkawm tsis xws luag thiab tus tsim ntawm tag nrho cov chaw haujlwm ntawm kev tshawb fawb. Nws tsim kev tshawb nrhiav tag nrho, 25 xyoo pib tshawb txog ntau pua tus khub txij nkawm. Dab tsi yog cais muaj nuj nqis - tus kws kho paj hlwb ntev ntev thiab muaj txij nkawm. Tab sis nws tsis yog hais txog hmoov! Tom qab tag nrho, nws yav dhau los khiav tawm ntawm kev sib nrauj - thiab coj ntau yam kev muaj txiaj ntsig. Yog li Gottman tsis qhia tsis zoo! Paub daws teeb nws cov qauv ntawm kev sib yuav zoo siab thiab cov lus qhia, yuav ua li cas xa nws mus rau sab zoo siab;)
1. Kev ua phooj ywg ntawm m thiab w
Nws tshwm sim, yog. Thiab nws tsis yog ib qho kev tawm tsam, thiab kev sib yuav! Ntawm qhov tsis sib xws, txhua yam khaws cia rau nws li ntawm cov ntses loj. Ob tus khub tau nqis peev rau qee qhov peev txheej: kev txaus siab, kev xav, txoj kev npaj, siab ntev. Yog tias koj muaj ib nplooj ntawv luv rau nws, tab sis koj tsis tuaj yeem nqa tawm mus rau pawg hu nkauj dhau ib yam dab tsi, qhov no yog lub tswb nrov. Vim tias lub thaj tuaj thiab nplooj, tab sis nws tuaj yeem hloov kho. Yog koj paub sib txuas lus li cas. Thiab sib txuas lus nrog ib tus neeg tsis zoo siab - Nafig xav tau?
2. Lub tshuab nqus tsev raws li aphrodisiac
Ib tug txiv neej uas pab nyob rau hauv lub tsev ua rau tus khub nyiam muaj zog dua. Tag nrho vim los ntawm dab tsi nws hais tias nyiam los ntawm: so, nyob zoo. Kuv hlub koj heev uas rau lub hom phiaj ntawm koj txawm sau cov pob tsis sib xws nrog cov thoob khib nyiab. Nws txias dua tau txais tus mammoth.
3. Kev teb
Hauv lub neej txhua hnub peb tsis tas li rau ib leeg. Thiab nrog sau ntawv tseem ceeb ("xav txog, lawv tsis tau them nyiaj ntau!"), Thiab ntawm trifles ("Huag, saib seb tus miv twg!"). Cov tshuaj tiv thaiv tuaj yeem sib txawv: "Yog", "Tsis thab, Kuv tsis khoom", "miv? Thiab "inter" -to plooj! " Los yog - koj ua rau siab: Nws tsis muaj teeb meem koj hais dab tsi, tab sis koj them sai sai, peb ua rau pom tseeb, "Tig" rau tus khub. Qhov ntau zaus nws tshwm sim, ntau txoj kev yuav tsum tau tsa cov kev xav zoo. Txhua khub niam txiv gotman uas "tig mus rau lwm tus tsuas yog nyob hauv cov neeg thib peb tau sib nrauj nyob rau ob peb xyoos.
4. Kev ua siab zoo yuav cawm kev txij nkawm
Qhov no tsis yog qhov muag muag, tsis yog kev ntseeg, tsis yog kev ua txoj kev xav. Qhov peev xwm no tsis dhia ntawm pob kws thiab tsis ua tiav dag. Gottman ntseeg tias txoj kev ua siab zoo tsis yog ib qho uas yog los yog tsis. Dab tsi yog zoo li cov leeg uas yuav tsum tau qhia tas li. Thiab nws yog lawv yuav coj koj ntawm lub sijhawm tseem ceeb. Thiab lub sijhawm tseem ceeb tseem ceeb tshaj plaws yog, tau kawg, kev tsis sib haum xeeb. Muaj tseeb, txhua tus neeg pom tias qee zaum hauv ib feeb nyuaj rau kev ua txhaum "nqa" kom lawv tsis txhob thuam, tsis txhob kaw lub pob ntseg rau kev thov txim. Zoo, yog li - lub peev xwm los ua qhov no yuav tsum tsis txhob tau cob qhia rau miv. Ntawd yog, nyob rau tsev neeg me me.
5. Ua tsis tau zam txim
Yog tias tus khub tau zoo siab thiab hais tias kev ruam, Kuv yuav ua li cas? Txuas lub laujk ... uas yog qhia rau nws tias nws tau ua txhaum ntawm no - thiab hnov qab thiab zam txim. Txwv tsis pub, lub foob pob ntawm cov lus tsa suab qeeb yog tsim nyob rau hauv koj, uas koj tom qab hauv ib lub sijhawm zoo ntawm nws tus kheej lub taub hau ntawm Ka -ku sorcery! Ib zaug ntxiv: Zam txim thiab cia mus. Yog tias nws yeej tau ceev tsis meej. Thiab tsis yog kev tsis nco qab tsis zoo.
6. Kev Kho Nws yog tsis yooj yim sua kom lees txais
Tam sim no zoo li yog cov xov xwm tu siab. 69 feem pua ntawm cov teeb meem hauv tsev neeg tuaj yeem daws tau hauv paus ntsiab lus. Tsawg kawg, peb tawg txog phab ntsa lossis sib faib txog nws, cov ncaj ncees - qee qhov kev teeb tsa nyiaj yuav tsis hloov. Thiab yog tias lawv ua txuj hloov, nws yuav yog tias kev raug mob ntxiv ... lossis tsuas yog kev tawm tsam. Nrog qee cov qauv ntawm hom unloaded hlab los yog cov kev tawm tsam vetololism yuav muaj rau tsuas yog Cooexist. Zoo, lossis khiav ntawm lawv. Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb kom nkag siab meej qhov tseeb ntawm koj.
7. Tsib Rau Ib
Txhua nkawm khub muaj kev zoo siab thiab nastiness. Cov lus qhuas thiab cov npe. Library thiab chim siab. Qab ntxiag nco thiab pob txha nyob hauv lub txee dai khaub ncaws. Yog li! Lub nti ntawm kev sib yuav zoo siab tsis yog tias tsis muaj minuses. Thiab qhov tseeb tias txhua tus minus yuav tsum muaj tsib qhov zoo. Rau ib hnub ntawm kev sib cav sib ceg - tsib hnub rov qab los. Ntawm ib qho kev tso tseg cov thom khwm - ib pob paj tsib lub paj ntaub. Lwm yam. Nws yog qhov nthuav kom sim ua kom muaj kev sim rau lub sake ..
7 Gothtman Soviet sib yuav
1. Tsis txhob hnov qab pab Qhov nruab nrab khub, gottman, txawm xav tias ib yam dab tsi mus txhua, rub tawm nrog kev sib tw mus rau ib tus kws kho mob hlwb. Thiab lig rau txog rau xyoo. Thiab nws tau siv sijhawm raws sijhawm thiab muaj kev zoo siab ntawm. 2. lim lub "bazaar"!Txawm hais tias lub siab khov. Ua ib qho kev rau siab thiab tsis nco qab txog kev txhaum xya xyoo, tsis txhob hais qhov tsis muaj mob thiab tsis hu cov lus phem. Loggers. Thaum kawg, Kin lub tog hauv ncoo. Tab sis ua tsis yog cripple. 3. Saib rau kev tsim kho "Muaj pes tsawg lub sij hawm kuv tau hais rau koj, koj tsuas yog txhawb nqa" - Nws pab rau nchuav rau qhov kev npau taws thiab rub lub pa. Tab sis tsis nyob rau hauv thiaj li yuav ua tiav qhov xav tau. Ua rau cov lag ntseg deaf thiab kev nruj kev tsiv. Cia li thiab muaj kuab. "Mloog, Kuv xav tau koj kev pab ..." tab sis qhov no yog qhov tseeb, daws teeb meem. 4. Sim sib ntsib Nws yog qhov tseeb uas muab kuv tus kheej, koj nyiam thiab koj lub neej tsis yog kev hlub, tab sis tus txiv neej ib tug. Tab sis tsis muaj cov khoom siv ntau tshaj plaws (xws li: "Qhov twg yuav siv sijhawm rau hnub Saturday - hauv bar lossis txiv") tseem yuav tsum tau ua cov kev txiav txim. Tsis tseg. 5. Tsis txhob ntshai xav hwm
Tsis yog nyob rau hauv lub siab: "M-txiv neej, T-koj uh-vazha-noj kuv?" Thiab nyob rau hauv lub siab tias yog tias ntawm koj lub siab ntawm kev ntseeg tus kheej thiab tus kheej-hlob yog khau raj, nws tsis tuaj yeem nqos thiab tsis nco qab. Yuav mob heev dua. Peb yuav tsum lub suab. Yog tias tus neeg tsis tsim nyog - nws yuav siv mus rau hauv tus account. Yog tias nws yog tus rapist corist, ces tsis muaj cov lus qhia kev txuag yuav pab koj. Nyob rau hauv lub cub tawg ntawm lawv - thiab ob txhais tes hauv txhais ceg. 6. Kauj Ruam rau pem hauv ntej thiab ob qho rov qab Kev ntaus pob ncaws pob thiab kev tsis sib haum xeeb, tsiv mus rau qhov kev tawm tsam, tsis txhob hnov qab ua "tawm." Hom: "Kuv nkag siab tias koj tsis xis nyob," Kuv thov txim, yog tias nws suab me me, "Kuv, tej zaum, kuj ua txhaum ntawm no." Qhov no tsis yog qhov tsis muaj zog, nws yog lub siab ntsws aikido. Thaum kawg, yog tias cov passions khiav kom tau li ntawd tsis muaj thim rov qab ua haujlwm, raws li qhov rov ua dua, koj tuaj yeem pom qhov kev lom zem tsis tau zoo thiab ua rau lub sijhawm ua kom haum. 7. Zoo - Tsib dua! Qhov no yog tej zaum qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws ntawm Gottonan hauv kev hlub thiab kev sib raug zoo ntawm tib neeg. Saib nqe 7 los ntawm cov qauv ntawm kev sib yuav zoo siab - thiab nqa hauv nws ntau npaum li cas koj tuaj yeem, qab ntxiag thiab nyob mus ib txhis. Tom qab ntawd lub ntim ntawm "lub hnub" yuav twv yuav raug ntau tshaj qhov ntim ntawm "huab" tsib zaug. Thiab koj yuav zoo siab!
