Tare da farkon rikicin cikin dangi dangantaka, mutane da yawa suna fara gina tsare-tsaren don kisan aure, ba tare da yunƙurin ceton aure ba. Koyaya, kashe aure mataki ne, kuma ya kamata a yi a hankali, a hankali kuma auna duk "don" da "a kan". Aure abokin tarayya ne na mutane daban-daban guda biyu, da kuma matsaloli masu tasowa - na halitta. Domin kada ya ƙona gadoji, amma don fahimtar ko an saki ko ana buƙatar sumbice, kawai amsa kansu don tambayoyi 9.
1. Shin ina bukatar kashe aure ko kuma ina bukatan dangantaka ta daban da mijina?
Akwai babban bambanci tsakanin aure na munanan da aure, wanda ba zai ceci komai ba. Ma'aurata suna yawanci zuwa ga masana ilimin annashuwa waɗanda ke da matsaloli waɗanda ba su iya warwarewa ba tare da wani taimako ba. Idan a cikin aure ka ba su dace da wani abu a cikin dangantaka da kanta, amma a lokaci guda mutumin da hanyoyi da kuma kana so ka zama tare da shi, to ya kamata ka yi aiki a kan kuskure da kuma tattauna kome tare da rabi. Ka tuna, kisan aure shine babban ma'auni.
2. Shin kun kara taimako ga masana kuma kunyi kokarin aiki akan dangantaka?
Abin takaici, maganin iyali ba koyaushe yana ba da sakamakon da ake so ba, amma koda ƙwararren ne ba zai iya taimakawa ba - wannan ba dalili bane don rage hannunsa. Yana yiwuwa ƙwararren ƙwararren da aka zaɓa ba shi da isasshen ilimi da ƙwarewa don taimakawa - zaku iya ƙoƙarin zaɓar wani masana ilimin psystotherapist. Haka kuma, kowannensu yana da dabarun mallaka. Kuma, idan, idan ƙwararre ya ce ba za a sami ceto ba - tabbas an canza shi.
Koyaya, har ma da ƙwararren masanin farko na farko bai kamata ya jira matakai sihiri ba - ingancin ayyukansa don mafi yawan sassan ya dogara da kai. Dukan abokan tarayya dole ne su bude kuma a shirye suke su canza. Aure yana da kowane damar sabuntawa kawai idan abokan aikin kansu suna son su kasance tare da kuma fuskantar ji da jin daɗin jin daɗin juna.
3. Ko wataƙila mutane da yawa sun lalace kwanan nan?
Babban gwaje-gwaje da matsaloli ba da daɗewa ba sun zo ko kuma a cikin nau'i-nau'i na farin ciki. Mai ƙarfi kuma ya faɗi waɗanda aka bayyana, matsalolin kuɗi, asarar aikin ɗayan abokan tarayya, matsaloli tare da ɗaukar ciki, da sauransu. Lokacin da wannan ya taso, haɗarin kisan aure yana ƙaruwa sosai. Idan rayuwarka ta cika da damuwa, to har ma da ƙananan matsaloli a cikin dangantakar za su yi kama da da alama - cikin damuwa, mutum ya rasa ikon yin tunanin hikima.
Sabili da haka, idan tunanin kisan ya ziyarci tare da isowar matsaloli - kada ku yi sauri tare da shawarar, kuma ku fahimci matsalolin, kuma to, ku fahimci matsalolin da ke faruwa na sanyi. Haka kuma, kai ne kungiya, kuma a cikin tawagar don jimre wa matsaloli mafi sauki.
4. Shin na san laifina na?
A kowane rikici, dukansu sun zama dole ne su duka biyun, kuma ba shi da mahimmanci, kamar yadda ya zama musamman, abokin aiki yake halayyar da kuma yadda natsanta da kansu. Babu cikakke kuma gaba daya marasa laifi, musamman a cikin dangantaka. Zai yi wuya a kimanta ayyukanku - watakila a wani wuri da kai ba wani dan Adam bane, to, matsalolin da ke tattare da shi, wanda ba shi da zargin wani abu kwata-kwata.
Gane laifinku - ba ya nufin ya zargi kansu a cikin dukkan matsaloli. Wannan yana nufin, ɗauki alhakin kalmominku, ayyukan dole ne ya kasance da alhakin kansa. Fahimtar inda aka sanya kuskuren, zaku iya gina shirin aiwatarwa don gyara yanayin.
5. Wannan aure ya asali kuskure ne, ko kuma tsarin ya kasance cikin matsala?
Akwai lokuta lokacin da ma'aurata suka shiga cikin aure da farko ba su shirya don dangantakar iyali ba, kawai su ba su fahimta. Saboda wannan, matsalolin su sun fito daga farkon rayuwar iyali. Wannan yakan faru ne lokacin da ake yin rikodin ƙungiyar da sauri kuma duka biyun ba su da lokacin koyon su su isa sosai. Ko kuma, lokacin da aka yi aure saboda ba da gangan ba, lokacin da duk dangi suka dage kan halayyar da suka halatta. Idan wannan lamirin ku ne, to, ajiye kisan aure, kawai fahimtar wannan darasi mai mahimmanci don nan gaba kuma a gwada kada ku hau kan ragon guda.
Idan shawarar da aka yanke game da aure da hankali, bayan wata dogaro da shawarar ba ta shafi mutane na uku ba, yanzu, yanzu, da lokacin matsaloli, kawai kuna buƙatar aiki akan dangantakar da fahimci cewa har yanzu ba a cikin abokin tarayya "ba daidai ba".
6. Idan dalilin kisan da na cikin jima'i mai inganci, akwai wani yunƙurin gyara komai?
Don magance matsaloli a cikin rayuwa mai ma'ana, ba lallai ba ne don tuntuɓar ƙwararrun masana. An sami nasarar matsalolin irin wannan shirin da nasarar magance su tare da halartar biyu. Kamar yadda ƙididdiga ta nuna, ma'aurata ma'aurata masu dacewa a wannan batun, koyaushe za a sami wani abu da yake kama da shi kaɗai kuma ba a yarda da wani ba. A farkon dangantaka, jima'i kusan yana da enchanting, amma kowace shekara ya zama mafi kuma mafi sauki - amma yana da sauki gyara shi.
Yi magana da abokin tarayya a fili, da dabara ya gaya mani cewa ba ku gamsu kuma menene zai so canza ba. Kasa kunne gare shi. Domin tattaunawar ta yi nasara, kuna buƙatar zama kamar yadda zai yiwu, ba da zargin junan mu kuma ba kue ba. Sassa saboda jima'i mara kyau ba shine mafi yawan abin da ya samu nasara ba. Bayan haka, don daidaita a wannan batun kuma daidaita jima'i da sauƙi fiye da neman wani dangi.
7. Shin tsammanina a fagen rayuwar iyali da mata ba su da damuwa sosai?
A cikin lokacin dan takarar da kuma siyarwa lokaci, da biyu suna aiki tare da kamannin juna, wanda da alama a gare su kamar koyaushe ya kasance haka. Mijin zai ba kowane mako don ba da furanni, magana da yabo, ƙanshin a cikin turare, kuma matar za ta yi tafiya koyaushe a cikin gidan kuma a dafa abinci a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe suna tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma a dafa shi a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma a dafa shi a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma a dafa shi a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma a dafa abinci a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma a dafa abinci a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gidan kuma a dafa abinci a cikin gidan kuma a dafa shi a cikin gidan kuma koyaushe yana tsaftace tsabta a cikin gida da dafa abinci. Kuma menene rashin jin daɗi yayin da komai yake da daidaito akasin haka. Kuma duk saboda rayuwar haɗin gwiwa ba ta zama hutu na yau da kullun ba.
A kudin da kansa rawar da ke cikin dangantakar tsammanin ba ta da matsala. Mace tana shirin da bayan aure, za ta sami damar gina sana'a, yalwar sarrafa kansa kuma tana zaune kan jadawalin nasa. A kan rabi a rana don tsayawa a slab, da wani don koyar da darussan tare da yaro, kuma kuyi kararraki tare da jariri. Ba shi yiwuwa cewa wani ya kasance yana tsammanin wannan daga ƙungiyar aure.
Da yawa a kan jigon aure da abokin tarayya suna da tsammanin tsammanin, don haka ya cancanci kallon halin kai. Idan ba ku shirya don gida na zama tare ba, to, wataƙila ba ku yi ta girma ba kafin aure - ba duk mutane suna da abin zargi ba, kuma babu wanda zai zargi.
8. A can ne na uku?
Lokacin da crack a cikin dangantaka ta taso saboda barazanar lokaci ɗaya, flating, shafukan yanar gizo - mutum yana da wahalar fahimtar inda kuma yadda ake ci gaba. Kuma abu na farko da ake buƙatar amsawa - ba abokin tarayya na kafirci ba ne ta hanyar "tserewa" daga matsalolin da ke cikin dangantaka? Sau da yawa, tare da ingantacciyar Ru'ya ta Yohanna tare da ku, amsar tambayar tabbatacce ce. Lokacin da matsaloli da yawa na cikin gida suka taso a cikin iyali, kuma matan sun manta game da yadda junan su, ga alama dangantakar ta zo ƙarshen. Sabili da haka ina son soyayya da jin soyayya ...
Mai ƙauna / mai ƙauna yana ba ku damar jin kamar sabon ƙauna tare da saurayi, wanda yake cikin tafiya akan kwanan wata, yana jiran taro na gaba. Amma kafin ka yanke shawara game da kisan aure saboda sabon "ƙauna" ya cancanci komawa baya ga ƙididdiga. Kusan kashi 75% na dangantaka "a gefe" ba sa ci gaba cikin wani abu mai mahimmanci. Sau da yawa, yaudarar kanta yana faruwa har ma saboda dalilin da nake son wani mutum, amma saboda ƙishi don wani sabon abu. Koyaya, yana yiwuwa ne a cimma wannan a cikin aure, ta hanyar aika gust na cikin ciki na soyayya da ke cikin ciki don riga dangantakar data kasance.
9. Ina son mijina?
Soyayya ba ta bada garantin cewa za a shirya dangantakar ya zama 100%, amma akwai ƙarin damar da ita. Idan kuna fuskantar abokin tarayya aƙalla mafi ƙarancin haske, to ya kamata ku jefa dangantaka - kawai kuyi ƙoƙari ku yi yaƙi, kuma koyaushe kuna da lokaci don tsarma.
